tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-288390552024-03-07T16:44:28.388+00:00Dougie's BlogThe Ramblings of a 60's Child!The Scudderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382592033956628186noreply@blogger.comBlogger311125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28839055.post-3936301939070615452012-05-14T23:35:00.002+01:002012-05-14T23:37:34.487+01:00GoodbyeA final posting on this blog to let all those who knew and loved my dad that he finally lost his brave fight against cancer last Friday afternoon. It took a long time to beat him but there was no escape in the end. I am so proud of his bravery and selflessness throughout. He was a very special man and as the hole he has left behind begins to open up, we will all have to try our hardest over time not to fall in too deep.<br />
<br />
If you want to join us to celebrate his life, the funeral has been arranged for Friday 18 May at Linn Crematorium, going on to Cowglen golf club afterwards.<br />
<br />
Thanks, Phyl xx<br />
<br />
(Maybe I should add three commas at the end - just to make this posting feel more authentic? ,,,)The Scudderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382592033956628186noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28839055.post-50786670175861154502012-03-01T10:17:00.001+00:002012-03-02T15:37:00.618+00:00My Old PalI have a friend. He's 80 past ; how I'll never know !<br />
You see, he has an eating disorder. This takes the form of, eh, having a very restrictive diet !<br />
His problem is ; His Mammy didn't skelp his arse when he was a we'an ! That is, the silly woman let this small infant kid dictate what he would & wouldn't eat ,,, Apparently it all started when she once tried to force him to eat Porridge as a wee boy ! ( only oor bloody National staple !)<br />
Anyway this manifests itself today ( and all the days I've known him !" ) into fetishes like ,,,<br />
Oh I don't like that ! To wit my reply is, ( ALWAYS ) but have you ever tried it ? <br />
And strangely enough the answer is ( ALWAYS ) ,, eh, naw, I just know I wouldn't like it !! Save me !!<br />
He'll take HP sauce if it's out of the original GLASS bottle but absolutely not if it comes from a plastic version ,,, or worse, if someone should put it into a dainty little sauce dish !<br />
He'll eat nothing that smacks of "FOREIGN" ,, try explaining to him that spaghetti is just mince with a little pasta ,, and you get the inevitable Ooooh yuk ,, This man has served his country and gone thro' a world war in the ARMY and still will eat ONLY, mince & totties, fish & chips, Steak-pie, or chicken ! Even the company Seargent Major couldn't dent his fads !! ( so why the hell do I try ? )<br />
Anyway, as a wee throwaway final comment on his eating disor<u>deer</u> ( now there's a Fraudien slip if ever I saw one ,, Venison ,, Oooo yuk ,, a'll no' eat that kind o' muck he'd say !!<br />
The beloved & I had him over for dinner the other night.<br />
We stuck with the simple, traditional, steak-pie, tatties & peas .,., Yo a winner !<br />
Followed that with a simple scoop of ice ctream and a couple of peach halves ,, from a tin !<br />
Ooooh, whit's that ? he asks ,,, Peaches says I.<br />
I've never tried them he admits ???? <br />
Eh, 80, and never tasted a tinned fruit ? <br />
Aye thtat's right he says .,.,<br />
Jesus, I'm livid by now ,,,, JUST BLOODY CUT A SLICE & TRY IT I commanded !!<br />
God bless him, he did his best but at the 2nd. bite he boacked !!<br />
I only like Apples or Oranges he finally confessed ( on the fruit front that is ! ) <br />
So the beloved being who she is dived off thro' the kitchen and produced a tin of Mandarin ORANGES ! Ha, success I thought ,,, <br />
Oooooh, whit's THAT he says ,,, Jesus suffering .,.,.,., It's WEE oranges says I ,,, <br />
Aye but I don't eat anything foreign ,, you know that Dougie ,,,<br />
Whit the hell's foreign about Mandarin Oranges I finally blurt out ,, choking on my anger !<br />
Chinese he says ,,, MANDARIN ,,, OI couldnae eat CHINESE ,,,,<br />
I rest my case <br />
If you would like to vote that Jim's Mammy has a sin to answer fior & should have given him a sore bum before he reached school age reply to "Dougie's Blog "!!!The Scudderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382592033956628186noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28839055.post-88842378991179397912012-02-11T11:42:00.000+00:002012-02-11T11:42:32.478+00:00Do you or did you LIKE your parents ?Now there's a thought to waken you at 4-30am <br />
I hadn't been dreaming ( as far as I know ) but suddenly, there it was !<br />
And a big question is is too don't you think ?<br />
My mum died when I was about 25 ... so I've been without her for a long, long time, about 45 years in fact !<br />
I missed her terribly at first ,, still do actually ,, I would love to have her back, even if only to chat for a day, but alas life doesn't work that way !<br />
However, when I awoke this morning with Mum in my mind, I got to wondering ,, did I like her ,, I really don't remember ! I'm sure I loved her dearly but ,,, did we like one another or did we just exist as a family unit with little real ties other than blood ? <br />
She was a good mum ,, this I'm sure of ,,, ( not a great cook as I recall but her heart was in it !" ) <br />
She did all the pre-requisite mum things ,, put me to bed ( with a story ? ) got me up for school, washed me, fed me, kissed me when I fell over & hurt myself, but, I still wonder ,,,, did she like me ? But more important at this point in my discussion ( admittedly only with myself ! ) did I like HER ?<br />
<br />
Then there was dad ! Quite a hard guy to actually love but a great larger-than-life, happy-go-lucky sort of projection he came across as ,,,, outside the family. Oh don't get me wrong ,, Big Wullie wsn't any kind of Ogre or anything at home but he was quite hard work ! Now, was that because of him ,, or me ? Maybe he wasn't all that keen on me as a person ,, again I don't know, not really. And I'm not all that sure whether I really liked him either ? Strange ,,, he was my dad so I must have ?? surely ??<br />
<br />
Life was different back in the 50's ,, people didn't dare bare their souls to one another then as they might now ? My own dear wife I'm sure had similar reservations about her given folks but I would never dream of putting words in her mouth regarding her feelings for them !<br />
<br />
Back to me & mine ,,, After mum died, dad ( understandably ) became somewhat morose ! No longer the happy guy with a beer & a song . He later found a wee wuman who did him no good whatsoever and, truth be told she ruined any chance of a son/dad love/like relationship.<br />
<br />
The question remains then :- Did I like my folks or were they just the people I was required to live with 'til I grew up and moved home ?<br />
<br />
Now before I get any strange comments on this blog posting ,,, this is NOT a "phishing" blog ! <br />
I know exactly how I feel about my kids & grandkids and how they feel about me ( for we talk & tell each other ) so I'm not looking for any kind of feedback here guys ! ok ?<br />
<br />
<br />
Oh shit ,,, do I REALLY know how they feel about me ?????????The Scudderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382592033956628186noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28839055.post-23538283511487735012011-12-16T22:45:00.003+00:002011-12-16T23:03:57.677+00:00I .... am an Artist !<div class="postContents"><div class="snippetPost"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Somewhere, way down deep in my psyche, nae, my soul, I am an artist. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">My soul is not of the religious variety, but is a real part of my being ! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It keeps me sane most of the time but can drive me too, to a near suicidal desperation when at my lowest ebb. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">My dear friend and lifelong buddy George is one of the only people who know this.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I am wracked with artistic leanings, if not the talent to support them ! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Oh to have walked the hallowed ground of University and studied for an Arts degree, Fine Arts, rather than spend nights at college working my way through Electrical Engineering claptrap for useless qualifications ?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I am a frustrated writer, poet, painter, musician, photographer and George listens when I spout on these very real longings. George is almost a brother to me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">No, he's much more than that ,,, he's that younger sibling, lost all those years ago, when I was so young. George understands me, like only a true friend can. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We have these wonderful, long talks in the car coming home from a day's golf outing, and he listens,, he really listens.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I read, ( I'm devouring books at a rate since my illness & our Scottish winter weather has confined me indoors), I write, and not only this bloggy stuff ,,, I attempt serious writing too, but then I read Emile Zola, Charles Dickens The Bronte girls, Jane Austen, Robt. Louis Stevenson and the like, and I despair again ,.,.,. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I have such a need inside me ,, a want to nurture my soul ?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I played piano to a fairly high level when a boy but then abandoned it ,,,, what sheer criminal neglect<em> </em>!<em> </em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I must get back to my music learning, and soon. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I long to attempt painting ,,,, I have a love of The Impressionist painters and long to "try my hand" at their style .,., I've chosen my camera as a starting idea to emulate these guys .,.,., I do want to someday actually apply paint to canvas but for now I'm attempting to learn the Impressionist "method" using my digital SLR .,.,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I know this is possible ,, even old Zola had the knack ,, and he did it back in the mid 1800's with far less sophisticated photo equipment to mine !<em> </em>So watch out for a photographic breakthrough, coming soon to a gallery near you !!</span><br />
My soul is screaming not to be starved. I need to feed this passion. <br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But back to my friend .,., George knows & appreciates my deepest thoughts, my deep love of family & friends, the real me .,., he sees the artist in me fighting for release.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">For my part I see George as a great part of "my family" .,., and to that end this week I send him my love ,,, for we celebrate with him another .,.,., eh, Big Birthday. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Many Happy Returns pal .... You have been & still are a Rock to me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I raise my glass to you .,., </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Cheers </span><br />
<br />
</div></div>The Scudderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382592033956628186noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28839055.post-38601466933045093812011-12-08T17:01:00.003+00:002011-12-08T17:06:29.190+00:00A Sort of Poem ?<div class="postContents"><div class="snippetPost">Ode Tae a Wee Bastard ! <br />
( The 3-C’s .,., <strong>C</strong>olonic <strong>C</strong>ancer <strong>C</strong>ells or as Emile Zola might have called them ... A Bunch of Cunts ! )</div><div class="entirePost"><br />
Gaun a wee conivin, sleekit, cowerin’ bastard !Whit? Yer no’ cowerin’ ??<br />
Well ye bloody should be .. <br />
‘Cause I’m fightin ye all the way ,,<br />
A'm laughin' in yer face, there’ll be nae surrender frae me ,,<br />
But if they finally dae cart me away, jist you know ,,,<br />
There’s mair o' me comin’ !<br />
And we’re efter YOU, scum-bag <br />
So beware ya wee shite .. eventually we’re gonna WIN !<br />
<br />
So here’s that first laugh in yer face ....<br />
<br />
Diarre.. ah ... Fur a ye.. ah ?<br />
Isnae hauf funny ye know <br />
It’s sair arse & piles ..it’s ointment and creams ..<br />
It's runnin' like hell tae the loo <br />
In fact, it’s nae fun at aw !<br />
<br />
Diarre...ah, fur jist six months <br />
Might be twice as good ?<br />
Mibbies aye & mibbies naw ?<br />
Or mibbie ah mean hauf as bad ?<br />
<br />
For even wan month <br />
Ah could jist aboot stool it !!<br />
Nae problem at aw <br />
But it’s a month wi'oot joy fur ma arse !<br />
<br />
Noo a week ... A week ah could dae,<br />
Staunin’ oan ma heid<br />
Oh shit, Mibbie no’ ,, Jist sit on ma bum ! <br />
<br />
But wait, awthing’s gaun quite quiet on thon rear, Southern front<br />
Ah huvnae moved fur some days <br />
A’m sitting here pushin' like hell <br />
Aw shite, Constipation's back wi’ a bung !!<br />
<br />
</div></div>The Scudderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382592033956628186noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28839055.post-80000146543400395572011-12-08T16:47:00.000+00:002011-12-08T16:47:57.648+00:00Another Sort of a Poem<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">On</span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">e for my beloved, darling wife.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I want your hand <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To be the last hand<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My hand ever feels <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I want your face<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To be the last face<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My old eyes ever see<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I want your kiss <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To be the last kiss<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">On my ever willing lips<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I want your smile<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To be that last smile, <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">For how you can smile, </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">That smile that hasn’t changed in all our years together<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>...<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I love you with all my heart & soul </span></span>The Scudderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382592033956628186noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28839055.post-15724545956847262302011-12-08T16:06:00.002+00:002011-12-08T16:14:07.876+00:00Gary Speed .....Aren't y'all thoroughly sick of the non stop nonsense constantly being banded about regarding Gary Speed ? We've had a minute's silence and a further round of clapping at every damned football match since his "untimely death !" WHY ?<br />
The guy was not a hero. Certainly NOT in my eyes anyway.<br />
He was a selfish, obviously uncaring individual who chose the coward's way out of whatever was bothering him. He left his wife with no explanation, and worse, his kids with no father at the time in their young lives when they most need one. He's also, lest we forget, commited a criminal act, an act against God too, if you're into such beliefs ,,,, I mention this merely because every other footballer is forever crossing himself on the field of play for one thing or another ,,, so why are these "oh so religious" guys not offended ? Why are they standing there clapping this man who didn't even have the decency to explain his actions ??<br />
And it's not over yet ,,, after what seems like a fortnight of this adulation we are now to get an "official" send off from all in sundry at his funeral !<br />
Am I the only person in the country to see this and ask questions ? Or are all his footy buddies just being carried away with the sentimentality of it all ,.,. frightened to speak out ? <br />
Sorry, but I'm not, and don't expect any minute's silence or clapping from me. <br />
Gary, sorry but you were a poor imitation of a man as far as I'm concerned.The Scudderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382592033956628186noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28839055.post-7125989193102048492011-10-22T11:26:00.000+01:002011-10-22T11:26:36.573+01:00The Good Doc !The old saying is true you know ,, It's NOT what you know in this ole world, it's WHO you know !<br />
We have a Doc. the beloved & I .,., One of the Good guys ( maybe a Good Fellah even ? Ooohhh ) <br />
He was first introduced to us by the daughter .,., an old school friend of hers ,,, if a tad older ! ( she made me put that in John :) ) but very quickly became a friend to us all .,., a saviour maybe ? but not in the Biblical sense !! I'm not that way inclined. In our hour of greatest need he was there ,, and he's stayed there ever since those initial awful diagnoses. He's promised to be there right to the end & I have no reason to believe otherwise ...a big, cheery, wacky, pun Lord and now the proud owner of something of a FARM !<br />
Boasting about his chicks, his cows, goats, quails even, his general animal farm got my mouth watering at the talk of his FRCE's (Free Range Chickens Eggs) ,,, the likes of which he said we'd NEVER tasted before !<br />
Being about time for a wee blether ( eh, I mean Medical Consultation ) up we went a couple of days ago to see Bones, the Man ! He's promise me btw ( or was that threatened ) that my prognosis of a few months, back last Sept. will be fought by him & I ,, 'Til Death, as they say :( ,, <br />
So far we're doing well ,, 12-months on ... And together we're going for a new record of 5 / 6 years.<br />
To this end since my appetite can vary quite a bit these days ,, from nothing ( well there's always the energy milk shakes ... YUK !! to a nice, if small steak, mushrooms & chips ! ) Bones obviously thought ( with a little helpful dig from myself via facebook ) that what I needed was a really exquisite meal so, as we entered the hallowed consulting room what do you think the mad fool had waiting .,.,., Yep, half a dozen of the finest white & brown FRC eggs on the planet !<br />
And wow, were they good ... NOPE, they were GREAT !<br />
Thanks John ,,,and thanks too to Cinders, ( a White Star indeed ) Roastie, Nugget, or even the Brown Leghorn .,., much appreciated girls, and John, don't think twice if these fine gals start to over produce at any time !<br />
I'm even prepared to sample Dan Quail's output ?The Scudderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382592033956628186noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28839055.post-49554639726153582922011-09-22T14:25:00.000+01:002011-09-22T14:25:36.854+01:00Feral, adj, Wild !What's with these new fangled words ?<br />
A year ago I'd never heard the word <strong>FERAL</strong> before in my entire life ,, and that's been a while now !<br />
Nowadays you can't avoid it ,, feral children, feral dogs, cats, gardens, you name it everydamnthing has suddenly become .,.,., <strong>WILD !</strong><br />
I know I shouldn't ask, since I have a daughter Lexicographer who is, in fact, responsible for such additions / subtractions to our language ,, but I will anyway...<br />
Who decides, and on just what basis, to add / subtract new & old words from our everyday already wonderful language?<br />
To whoever it is I say .,.,., Bugger off -- Leave our English alone ya interfering shower !<br />
Wild is more than adequate to describe ,, WILD !<br />
For some people English is already difficult enough !<br />
<br />
Here's a wee add on to this blog to illustrate my point ,,, <br />
Phyl, the beautiful daughter, was once "involved" with the Police ,,, Can't remember if she was a witness to something or if someone had driven into the back of her car ,, I checked & someone indeed had banged into her beloved little Italian Chuggy Fiat 500.<br />
A young Bobby, let's call him PC Dumb, was allocated at the scene to take her details ,,,<br />
He started in the usual fashion ,, Name please ?.,.,.,., <br />
Phyllis she replied ,, <br />
Right that's FIL,, eh how do you spell that name .. Try PHY.... officer she said.<br />
Ok Surname ?,,, Buchanan .,., OK, right .. That's eh, BUCK,, eh can you spell that please miss !<br />
Occupation ? he asks next ,,,, At this point the we'an, having got the measure of her man, decided on her career title Sunday name ,,,, <br />
Eh I'm a Multi-Lingual Lexicographer, she replied :) <br />
At this juncure in proceedings PC Dumb looked like he might actually cry ,,, gave up the ghost, tore the paper out his pad & crumpled it into the nearest bin ,,,,<br />
Maybe you should come down to the station Miss & explain it all to the Sarge !!<br />
<br />
So, albeit our Coppers are possibly a little on the thick side, can you smart Alex's leave our language alone ,,, <br />
If you check you'll find out that the <strong>Feral</strong> word appears only in the Collins English dictionary ,,, there's no mention of such an abomination in either the Scots gem or indeed the Larger Concise Scots Dictionary. <br />
I rest my Scottish case !The Scudderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382592033956628186noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28839055.post-57597365995030231872011-09-22T09:52:00.000+01:002011-09-22T09:52:13.996+01:00Mind Racing ?The beloved tells me I've started talking in my sleep ( again ) !<br />
However, this time round it appears I'm having full blown conversations with people ,, <br />
I'm obviously getting answers to my questions as well as the reverse, while fast asleep .... <br />
Some of these chats leave me angry, some giggling hysterically in mirth ,, but it seems quite odd to me that I should be chatting away to someone and hearing them respond without actually being aware of it all ? (although ocassionally I wake up in the middle of such bletherings & am vaguely aware that something has been going on in the nocturnal ramblings arena ) <br />
I don't seem to get any faces ,, so I don't really know who I'm talking to !<br />
What is causing this phenomenon I wonder ?<br />
Naturally I have a theory ! <br />
It's this ,,, my mind is full of stuff at this time & is racing away with it all ,, almost out of control you might say. I'm trying to come to terms with my emm, ,,,, fate I guess ? <br />
And more importantly, the fate of my beloved, our kids and theirs.<br />
I'm not sure but, maybe this causes the mind to race off on it's own and plan stuff for their future ??<br />
Or of course I could simply be an inveterate rambling old fool ?<br />
Answers on a PC please to the usual address !The Scudderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382592033956628186noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28839055.post-58379758181662204532011-09-19T09:13:00.000+01:002011-09-19T09:13:06.041+01:00It's B & Q 's New Folly ,, oops I mean Policy !Went down to the giant DIY store the other day ,,,<br />
I'd been told my request would be thrown out, but hey, if you don't ask, you don't get ,, right ?<br />
As regular readers of this blog will know, there's a new carpet in the old bedroom !<br />
Much more plush, carpets these days ,, or if you will,, THICK !<br />
Ipsofacto, the door won't close ,,, needs a smidgen off the bottom edge ,, literally 1-cm !<br />
I spotted 3 ,, yeah three, "B & Q "workers" sitting round a table close to the band saw which would do the job in less than 10-seconds ( and do it straight & true ! ) ( two more were "jawing", about last night's footie game, they were hard at it, & didn't even see me hovering around, so I decided not to interrupt ! )<br />
I asked the threesome ( very pleasantly ) if this was a private card school or could anyone join in ! <br />
They took it in good spirit and listened while I explained about my carpet/ door/ cut required.<br />
Ooh sorry they said ( almost like they meant it ) but we're not allowed to cut doors any more !<br />
Seems it's a "Health & Safety" ( ?? ) issue and even worse,, some customers on having the work done complain that we've cut it wrong and sue us for replacement new doors !<br />
OK says I ,, I'll give you a carte -blanche written disclaimer ,, I know you won't cock it up. <br />
Thanks sir but afraid it's still a No-no ,,, we'd get sacked if "they" caught us !<br />
Ok I say again ,, the doors are very old so how about I just buy a few new doors from you and then you can cut them to the correct height ?<br />
Nope, they chorused, we can't even cut our own doors any more !! <br />
I had wondered when I arrived why there was so many "workers" in this dept. and no customers .,.,<br />
I don't any more !!! It's the new B & Q policy for selling ZERO doors.The Scudderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382592033956628186noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28839055.post-28139052904880008502011-09-08T10:18:00.011+01:002011-09-09T12:12:13.720+01:00Ode to Tiffany...or, Tiff thing, I think you move me !<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD9dt5rmohrIi6c8d832equtzj6Fn0qHz1hj1FkRU3uNuvdtYNxh-B9nUza8JYej1YWdvY2_L5hmY8FZScPjyzvLtObADd23bNvScf3_Deg9HW_X9oZk0lhttIIizrLj4W0wzV/s1600/DSC_0040.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD9dt5rmohrIi6c8d832equtzj6Fn0qHz1hj1FkRU3uNuvdtYNxh-B9nUza8JYej1YWdvY2_L5hmY8FZScPjyzvLtObADd23bNvScf3_Deg9HW_X9oZk0lhttIIizrLj4W0wzV/s320/DSC_0040.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>My regular readers will be aware that the beloved & I recently bought a new light for the re-decorated bedroom.<br />
In actual fact <strong>I</strong> found & bought this hanging thing of beauty.<br />
We pushed the boat out a little and bought what I thought at the time was a rather "nice", if expensive Tiffany lamp...<br />
It's colours blended well with the new wallpaper, carpet, curtains etc, & so the bullet was bitten & the deed was done !<br />
Having now moved back into our bedroom I see just how good the Tiff looks.<br />
Each morning as the sun comes up I awaken to a glorious display of glass & colour. <br />
In fact I awaken to it twice ! Yeah, she's on the ceiling & in the wardrobe door mirror ! <br />
She is brilliant ,,, Fan-bloody-tastic & worth every penny !<br />
Tiff thing.... You make my heart sing, <br />
You make everything ,,, <br />
Groovy !<br />
<br />
Tiff thing.... I think I love you !<br />
<br />
Humble apologies to Big Reg & the Troggs !!The Scudderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382592033956628186noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28839055.post-79963100274273383282011-09-01T08:44:00.000+01:002011-09-01T08:44:06.007+01:00An ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER as received by the Issuing Authority ! <br />
<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoNormalTable" style="mso-cellspacing: 0cm; mso-padding-alt: 0cm 0cm 0cm 0cm; mso-yfti-tbllook: 1184;"><tbody>
<tr style="mso-yfti-firstrow: yes; mso-yfti-irow: 0; mso-yfti-lastrow: yes;"> <td style="background-color: transparent; border: rgb(0, 0, 0); padding: 0cm; width: 528.35pt;" valign="top" width="704"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><b><span style="font-size: 16pt;">This letter is a thing of great beauty (even if the language is a bit choice) ... You can definitely feel the guy's pain !</span></b> </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><b>Dear Sirs,<br />
<br />
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><b>How is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1977, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was bloody born and on what date.<br />
</b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><b> For Christ sake, do you guys do this by hand ? My birth date you have on my pension book, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 50 years. It is on my National Health card, my driving license, my car insurance, on the last half dozen damn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed to step off the plane over the last 40 years, and all those insufferable, & useless census forms.<br />
<br />
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Phyllis, my father's name is Bill and I'd be abso-f*cking-lutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I, like both of them die!!!!!! <br />
<br />
I apologise, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this utter bullshit ! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my f*cking address !!!!<br />
<br />
What is going on ? Do you have a gang of Neanderthal arseholes workin' there ? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for sh*t sake. I just want to go and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere warm. </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><b>And would someone please, please tell me, why would you give a sh*t whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days ? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you'd be the last f*cking people I'd tell !<br />
<br />
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the poxy city to get another f*cking copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of £30. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day ??<br />
Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make some sense. You'd rather have us running all over the f*ckin' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then have to find some arsehole to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic f*ckin' morons) </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><b>Hey, do you know why we couldn't smile even if we wanted to? </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><b>Because we're totally pissed off ! Aye Wi' YOU !<br />
<br />
Signed <br />
An Irate Citizen.<br />
<br />
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since the year DOT ! Way back in the 15 / 1600's ... we have all lived, worked & paid taxes here since then .........<br />
</b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><b>However, I have to get someone 'IMPORTANT' to verify who I am - you know,<br />
someone like my doctor ... aye him WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN F*CKING PAKISTAN and came here 5-years ago ! </b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><b>( Has anybody at the department checked his passoport yet ?? )<br />
<br />
Sincerely,</b></div></td> </tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span><br />
The Scudderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382592033956628186noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28839055.post-88740911987093143472011-08-30T10:12:00.000+01:002011-08-30T10:12:49.059+01:00East Ren Cooncil ,,, at it yet again !So I had an old TV to get rid of ,,,<br />
Naturally I called the EAST REN COONCIL ,, who always arrive the Frid. after the call & take away my Bigger Rubbish ! ( for I'm an OAP and get this service for FREE !! .,.,., Eh, Did I say GET this service for FREE .,., read on ! ) <br />
Naturally I called them. " Sure, no problem Sir, is that all you have to be picked up this time ?," the pleasant young man asked.<br />
"Yep, that's all for now" says I. <br />
"Right then, that'll be £20 then Sir" he tells me ,,, <br />
"Eh, naw son, you've got that wrong ,, I'm one of East Ren's Senior Citizens ,, one of the over 60 brigade, so No Charge ,, as usual ! OK ?"<br />
"Eh, sorry, no Sir, there's now a charge .,., for EVERYBODY wanting any uplift !"<br />
"You what ??" I said, rather taken aback !<br />
"You have to joking son ?? How is an Old guy my age with my medical condition supposed to humph a big telly up to the dump, pray ? "<br />
"Don't know Sir, ,, but no payment, no uplift I'm afraid !!" <br />
Mmmm, a bit less than pleasant suddenly sonny eh ?<br />
Well tell you what kid, Believe me, you'll be taking it to the dump ,,, even I have to smash it into small enough bits to fit in YOUR Bins ! Now you can cancel my request for uplift and shove it !! <br />
That's now the 2nd. item ERC have hiked a ridiculous price onto that OTHER COONCILS HAVEN'T !! Take the disabled driver's Blue Parking Concession Badge for example !<br />
Glasgow issues this badge to worthy recipients FREE .,., ,ERC ,,, same badge, same rules about obtaining one ,, CHARGE ?? £20 ( aye, and another £20 each time it's renewed !! )<br />
I refrain from questioning their parentage but that's what I think of them all the same ,, <br />
Long may they rot in Hell Fire !<br />
<br />
The Scudderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382592033956628186noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28839055.post-90635351243595863512011-08-24T10:42:00.001+01:002011-08-25T09:20:36.858+01:00So, what to do my Lord Dionysius II ? <a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/89/Damocles-WestallPC20080120-8842A.jpg"><img alt="File:Damocles-WestallPC20080120-8842A.jpg" height="599" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/89/Damocles-WestallPC20080120-8842A.jpg/470px-Damocles-WestallPC20080120-8842A.jpg" width="470" /></a><br />
People in my situation are often ovecome with not knowing what to do with their remaining time ,, be it weeks, months, years ? We will all die at some time ,, of that there's no doubt, or escape, but there is something quite different when the medics spell out YOUR personal demise and give you a sort of definitive ( and always short ) timescale !<br />
Should I be "putting my affairs in order" ? whatever the hell that means ? Should I be savouring every minute / hour / day and using them to the limit ? Finishing off my "work in progress" books ? Writing letters to leave to all my dear friends ? <br />
Or maybe just carry on day to day ignoring the fact that the next one might well be my last ? <br />
I honestly don't know what I should be doing !<br />
I'm not sure I should be simply sitting whiling away the days playing golf, reading, writing, photographing, watching Tv etc ,,, but hey, why the hell not ,, It's what I would be doing if I didn't have the sword of Damocles hanging over me .,., <br />
<br />
<span class="mw-headline" id="The_story">{ The story : </span>The Damocles of the anecdote was an obsequious <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtier" title="Courtier"><span style="color: #0645ad;">courtier</span></a> in the court of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dionysius_II_of_Syracuse" title="Dionysius II of Syracuse"><span style="color: #0645ad;">Dionysius II of Syracuse</span></a>, a fourth century BC <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tyrant" title="Tyrant"><span style="color: #0645ad;">tyrant</span></a> of <a class="mw-redirect" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Syracuse,_Italy" title="Syracuse, Italy"><span style="color: #0645ad;">Syracuse, Italy</span></a>. Pandering to his king, Damocles exclaimed that, as a great man of power and authority surrounded by magnificence, Dionysius was truly extremely fortunate. Dionysius then offered to switch places with Damocles, so that Damocles could taste that very fortune first hand. Damocles quickly and eagerly accepted the King's proposal. Damocles sat down in the king's throne surrounded by every luxury, but Dionysius arranged that a huge sword should hang above the throne, held at the pommel only by a single hair of a horse's tail. Damocles finally begged the tyrant that he be allowed to depart, because he no longer wanted to be so fortunate.<sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-painting_The_Sword_of_Damocles_1-1"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Damocles#cite_note-painting_The_Sword_of_Damocles-1"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: #0645ad;">[2]</span></span></a></sup><sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-4"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Damocles#cite_note-4"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: #0645ad;">[5]</span></span></a></sup><br />
Dionysius had successfully conveyed a sense of the constant fear in which the great man lives. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cicero" title="Cicero"><span style="color: #0645ad;">Cicero</span></a> uses this story as the last in a series of contrasting examples for reaching the conclusion he had been moving towards in this fifth <i>Disputation,</i> in which the theme is that virtue is sufficient for living a happy life.<sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-5"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Damocles#cite_note-5"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: #0645ad;">[6]</span></span></a></sup> <br />
Cicero asks: Does not Dionysius seem to have made it sufficiently clear that there can be nothing happy for the person over whom some fear always looms?<sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-6"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Damocles#cite_note-6"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: #0645ad;">[7]</span></span></a></sup><br />
<br />
I have no fear looming .,., I'm a happy man .,, No, really I am ,, I have the wife & family to die for ( excuse the pun ! ) so why change my ways at this late date ?<br />
As far as I'm aware my "affairs" are pretty well in order ? <br />
My books will or will not be concluded .,., I've written enough to let future generations of Buchanans, Gautiers & Widmanns know who I am and that's all I wanted to do in the first place when I first set pen to paper.<br />
I couldn't, even if I wanted ,, rush off book chapters like there's no tomorrow ,, they come to me as they will ,, and I get them down on paper when the mood takes me ,,, but "To Order " .,., eh, No !<br />
Anyway, if anyone can suggest other "things" to do ,,, which "affairs" to put in order ,, how to conduct my final symphony please feel free to comment .,.,<br />
And ,, Thanks for listening .,., <br />
Ta-ra <br />
<br />
The Scudderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382592033956628186noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28839055.post-88461883510643031832011-08-19T09:53:00.003+01:002011-08-20T10:19:45.847+01:00The Saga of the Anti Twist Plate & Mr. Allen !You know how these things pan out ?<br />
First we needed to wallpaper the bedroom ,,, our bedroom ,, it hasn't been done for a wee while.<br />
So we bought the paper .,., and it lay in the cupboard for Oh ,, about 6-months ?<br />
Then we used it to re paper our grandson's bedroom ! ( different room ,, different hoose ! ) <br />
We then bought new paper for our room & it went into the cupboard for .,., Mmmm, maybe another 6-months ?<br />
We've had a couple of other wee traumas to deal with during this past year which kinda put the wallpapering project on the back burner !<br />
Anyway our health & strength has been on the wane some during this time to the point where I finally decided to let our next door neighbour ( a fine painter & decorator to trade ) do the work for me.<br />
He made a lovely job of it and in just two days we were ready to put the room back together again and move back in !!<br />
Silly me ! Did I really believe that ? No, no, no, first we needed a new bed to compliment the new decor .,., but even before that of course, the carpet was well overdue replacing wasn't it ,,, and since the bed's out there in the spare room meantime, what better time ?? <br />
So the carpet was chosen & the fitters came & down it went ,, half an hour later we needed to assemble the bed !! Oh have I mentioned yet the new curtains, light shade, reading lights over the bed, wall mount Tv, etc, etc ,,, ?? Ahhh all in due course then ! <br />
Next was the overhead light ,,, a splendid new ( & expensive !! ) Tiffany lamp from Lite Craft ,,, you know, Lite Craft, the ( phenomenally expensive ) Lighting Experts !! Well we bought it, as I said, a splendid affair, big, heavy ( aye really heavy ,, ) and all pretty colours. We took it home ( carefully cosseted on the back seat of the car ,, watch that bump ! ) and the amateur electrician decided to put it up ,, well what safer place to keep it ?<br />
"What a bloody weight" the amateur was heard to say ,, "this'll bring the ceiling doon !" <br />
Not to be deterred the missus wuman insisted .,., "Ah like it ,,, it's goin' up ,, !" <br />
Then we noticed ,, aye both of us ,, there was no way to attach this heavy weight to the ceiling ?? Absolutely no possible connection betwixt our existing ceiling rose and this new monster lamp ? <br />
We called on friends to check we weren't simply acting out dumb & dumber roles ?? but alas everyone agreed ,, it had no means of being hung !!<br />
"Shit !" the amateur muttered ,, get all the bubble wrap, poly bags etc, back out of the bin .,., we're off back to see the Experts ..., and so we did ,, again very carefully watching every bump in the road .<br />
The young lady I approached told me, calm as you like ,, cool as a bleedin' cucumber in fact & without even as much as a mild blush !.,., "Oh you need an anti twist plate !" "A whit ?" says I .,., "An anti twist plate ,, that gives you the hook to hang it onto that earth bracket inside the brass housing ,, See ? ,,"<br />
"So where is it ?" I ask ,, <br />
"Oh we don't supply it !!!" she tells me ,, "It's only a wee cheap thing though ,, you'll get one in B & Q for about 70p .,., " By this time steam is rushing from my ears at 100psi with no safety relief valve fitted in the heid !! ,,, <br />
"I'll what ?? Drive to B & Q .,., Aye so ah will hen ! " WHY don't you supply the bloody thing if it's that necessary & that cheap ?? D'you know how much this lamp cost me ? the one I've now trailed back & forth THREE times now ? <br />
I want to see the Manager ! NOW !! <br />
Off she went ,, the manager ( a boy of about 12 summers ) arrived back clutching a little bit of metal in his already sweaty mitt .,<br />
"Mr. B" he gushes, "I've managed to find a spare anti twist plate for you ,,! " " Look, this is how it works ..."<br />
" Aye right "says me ,, "but it should be included in the lamp package ,, not need every customer to find out the hard way & have to make a return journey .,., You'll be hearing from my lawyer in due course sonny, regarding compensation for stress & strain, petrol money and a general stupidity ex-gracia payment !"<br />
And so I left .... failing that I may have been up on an assault charge on a minor !!<br />
The carpet now fitted, the lamp now fitted, it was time to assmble the new bed !<br />
Och, should I bother ?,,, it must be me ! ,, surely the world isn't being dumbed down deliberately ,, all the time ? <br />
Anyway, the bed comes with a single assembly instruction sheet ,, a we'an could follow the steps ,, in fact my two grandwe'ans did ,, they did most of the assembly ,,, however, and here's the rub !<br />
The screws, and the tool they supply are of the Allen type ,,<br />
<span class="st">{A hex key, <strong>Allen</strong> key, or <strong>Allen</strong> wrench (also known by various other synonyms .,., ( I'll just bet it is !! ) is a tool of hexagonal cross-section used to drive bolts and <strong>screws</strong> that have a hexagonal socket in the head (internal-wrenching hexagon drive) } </span><br />
<span class="st">Oh and did I mention ,, the most TOTALLY USELESS tool ever invented !</span><br />
<span class="st">Mr. Allen never did think to add a bloody handle to allow his tool to be easily turned ,, and if ever a bed was made with absolutely no access for such a tool this was that bed ! I could get a quarter turn ( at best ) on any of these damned screws ,, which turned a 5-minute job with a screwdriver into a 3 hour job ! ( and lots of sweat on the new carpet ! )</span><br />
<span class="st">If I could have got my hands on said Mr. Bloody Allen he'd have had screws where the monkey hid his nuts ,, aye & his nuts would be there too ! </span><br />
<br />
Ladiers & Gentlemen ,,, The Grumpy old man has now left the building !!<br />
The Scudderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382592033956628186noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28839055.post-27541841251040263032011-08-11T09:30:00.000+01:002011-08-11T09:30:53.505+01:00To all the nocturnal girls !We have a friend, the beloved's old school pal no less, so we've had her a while !!<br />
The wee soul is one of those women who, in their later years become obsessed with ,, well, stuff & things !<br />
She can spend a day for instance, checking the tins & bottles on the Supermarket shelves for any ingredients that are "bad for her !!" Her healthy diet is severe ,, no red meat, in fact no meat, no this , no that, in fact it's easier to describe her do's rather than her don'ts .,.,, she eats fish & chicken ,,, that's about it !<br />
She won't use a mobile 'phone cause it might affect her brain ; ditto she won't use a freezer ; food is not meant to be cold for months on end ; she shops a lot !<br />
This woman would never dream of using make-up, & certainly never ever consider the possibility of artificial "substances"( and here I'm not talking Grade A drugs or anything ... I'm thinking maybe Botox ! ,, the safe & legal drug of the "Beautiful People" )<br />
The reason I'm thinking Botox is two fold ,,, <br />
1) her lifelong heart-throb "singer" ( the Peter Pan of pop ! ) uses it & he can do no wrong !! <br />
2) a recent news article was touting it as a cure for a medical complaint from which she suffers.<br />
The poor woman has umpty-tumpty nocturnal journeys twixt bedroom & loo room of a night ,, <br />
She has, you see, what has now been diagnosed as Loose Bladder syndrome .,., with no real signs of a cure on the horizon.<br />
But now ,,, hang on ,,, wait a minute Missus !<br />
Botox will not only cure your nocturnal walks but, dare I say it, perhaps as a beneficial off spin, give you a wrinkle-free fanny too !! <br />
<br />
Pretty Fannies of the world unite ,,, kinda describes her 60's Heart-throb singer pretty well too don't you think ?!<br />
The Scudderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382592033956628186noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28839055.post-5367362690205603392011-08-05T10:31:00.001+01:002011-08-10T09:13:19.304+01:00Dumb & Dumber !It saddens me ,, it really does , the state this country has got itself into.<br />
What used to be a bright, innovative people have let themselves be dragged down to a level of education that borders on the pre neanderthal.<br />
Who's to blame ? Us ourselves, our teachers, Government, WHO ??<br />
I don't know but I do know that the kids leaving school in my day were a damn sight better equipped to speak, read, write and count than they are now !<br />
Now that can't be right ,, how can a system that was working fine ( aye & with 40-kids to a class ) have been allowed to be changed into a downward spiral churning out virtual dummies ?<br />
Oh I know we have better exam results :), we have no failures anymore :( , aye but we have teachers slashing their wrists too ,,, don't remember that back in the 50's ?? <br />
Anyway it's a long debate this and one I'll come back to, but what set me off yesterday was such a simple little annoying character I met in a bed shop .,., fresh out of school I'll wager ! In fact there were two of them ,, and employed in separate BED SHOPS !! <br />
The beloved & I were looking for a new bed to go with our about to be re-decorated bedroom, so in we went to the BED SHOPS !<br />
This 1st. shop was truly what it said on the tin ... a BED shop ,, sold nothing but BEDS ,,<br />
I'm wandering around minding my own business looking at the various designs when up he comes ,, big smile for the customer .,., So he says, is it a bed you're looking for ? <br />
I turned to the beloved with that look she knows so well on my face ,,<br />
Naw, I said to the neanderthal, I'm looking to buy a new car ! <br />
With that I walked straight out the door ,,, I simply refuse to deal with fools and I won't encourage them by buying anything from them !<br />
The 2nd, BED shop was also a beds only kinda establishment !<br />
I found the bed I liked .,., nice rich leather head and foot boards.<br />
The display model was in a dark brown, verging on black leather.<br />
What other colour options can I have on the leather I asked the fresh faced salesman #2 <br />
Now this was not a cheap & nasty wee bed ,, this was an approx. £400 quid bed ( sans mattress ! ) so naturally if I'm the customer & willing to pay the piper ,, then I also get to call the bloody tune ?<br />
Eh, that's it he says ,, it comes ONLY in the dark brown !!" <br />
Eh, naw it disnae son ,, if I want it in a light green leather that's what I get ,, you see I'm the customer ,, the guy with the money. If I go into a 3-piece suite shop to buy a leather suite I can choose from every colour in the spectrum so what's different about a wee bit leather ony our bed ?<br />
I could maybe get you it in an off white he responds ,,<br />
I give the beloved the look ! <br />
And we're out of there and in the car before neanderthal #2 has time to smile his dumb smile one more time.<br />
And I'll bet you he still doesn't know what went wrong ?The Scudderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382592033956628186noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28839055.post-25828150827270390152011-07-23T11:48:00.002+01:002011-07-23T11:51:54.197+01:00Eulogy for a dear WeeThing ( Part II )<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGoOG2HYZiSv-iRGzJXupkaXkSXjLXcMLU501aw87Qn4Mhg-L2JKnQ7D2aSIsCL56mwHNqMhBfo-BwE6DHs4R7t8xBM0uKHkTPuMrgEUw7Y0IMLfL50uhqz1pK-dRldQobEFXW/s1600/58+Con+%2526+Dom+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGoOG2HYZiSv-iRGzJXupkaXkSXjLXcMLU501aw87Qn4Mhg-L2JKnQ7D2aSIsCL56mwHNqMhBfo-BwE6DHs4R7t8xBM0uKHkTPuMrgEUw7Y0IMLfL50uhqz1pK-dRldQobEFXW/s320/58+Con+%2526+Dom+2.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
It's been a wee while now since my dear wee cous died <br />
( Frid. 28th. Jan. to be exact )</div><div style="text-align: center;">Naturally I still miss her terribly ,,, No wee Helloo's jumping onto my screen of an evening ,,, </div><div style="text-align: center;">No tales of the family down-under ,,, <br />
Little contact at all now with the bum of the planet, truth be told ,,,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Yesterday however I spoke to her big brother ,, my older cousin in Christ-Church.</div><div style="text-align: center;">We blethered on a bit about weeAnne, how she was so missed by all her NZ family .,.,<br />
and the devastaion following the Eartquakes etc ,, just general chit-chat.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Then all of a sudden Adam ( the Cous ) let this one out of the bag !</div><div style="text-align: center;">Seems the crazy wee bitch was on yon "slip-it-under-the-tongue" Nitroglycerin medication for her heart .,., <br />
<div class="dablink">No, not the explosive stuff ,,,, !<br />
<br />
Nitroglycerin is also used <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glyceryl_trinitrate_(pharmacology)" title="Glyceryl trinitrate (pharmacology)">medically</a> as a <a class="mw-redirect" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasodilator" title="Vasodilator">vasodilator</a> to treat <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heart" title="Heart">heart</a> conditions, such as <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angina_pectoris" title="Angina pectoris">angina</a> and <a class="mw-redirect" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chronic_heart_failure" title="Chronic heart failure">chronic heart failure</a>. It is one of the oldest and most useful drugs for treating heart disease by shortening or even preventing attacks of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angina_pectoris" title="Angina pectoris">angina pectoris</a>. Nitroglycerin comes in forms of tablets, sprays or patches.<sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-0"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nitroglycerin#cite_note-0">[1]</a></sup> Nitroglycerin can be used to help destroy <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostate_cancer" title="Prostate cancer">prostate cancer</a>.<sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-1"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nitroglycerin#cite_note-1">[2]</a></sup><br />
A common form of medical nitroglycerin is a small white tablet that patients slip under the tongue. Another form is nitroglycerin sprays that are a convenient alternative for someone awakened by angina attacks at night. These two forms are not for routine use, only to be used at the onset of chest pain. A patch is another form of nitroglycerin. The medication contained in the patch is slowly released and absorbed through the skin and into the bloodstream, however it will not relieve an attack that has already started.<sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-19"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nitroglycerin#cite_note-19">[20]</a></sup><br />
Since 1879, nitroglycerin pills have been a standard treatment for angina and heart attacks, but it wasn't until the 1970s that researchers understood that the body converts nitroglycerin into nitric oxide, a messenger molecule that tells the smooth muscles surrounding blood vessels to relax.<sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-20"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nitroglycerin#cite_note-20">[21]</a></sup><br />
When a pill is needed the person places it under the tongue and allows it to dissolve, which usually takes about 20–30 seconds. Nitroglycerin can also be chewed, but is less effective when it is swallowed without being dissolved. Its actions make a gentle tingling sensation under the tongue. Nitroglycerin is more effective when taken at the very inception of chest discomfort. After taking the nitroglycerin pill, relief often follows within one to two minutes, but not all types of chest pain respond to nitroglycerin.<sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-21"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nitroglycerin#cite_note-21">[2</a></sup><br />
<br />
NO ONE IN THE FAMILY HAD ANY INKLING ABOUT THIS .... <br />
SHE HAD SEEMINGLY TOLD NO ONE ABOUT THIS MEDICATION .,., <br />
The family only found out the morning she died ,, <br />
Seems the pill bottle was in her hand ( almost empty ! ) when they found her !!<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">Now what kind of crazy wee person would hide such info from her nearest & dearest ?</div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm gutted all over again ,, maybe with this knowledge ( and a better supply of pills ) she could have survived the heart attack ? </div><div style="text-align: center;">If I could get hold of her right now I'd skelp her wee arse .,.,</div><div style="text-align: center;">What were you thinking WeeThing ?<br />
</div></div></div>The Scudderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382592033956628186noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28839055.post-15685676946551042992011-07-12T10:07:00.000+01:002011-07-12T10:07:20.217+01:00Help ma Boab, I'm sleeping wi' Desperate D'Ann !Sleep, these days is something of a luxury ! <br />
In fact I can't actually remember when I last had a real night's sleep ...<br />
So there I was in the middle of another sleepless, dreamless, watch of the hours go by when I heard the first faint murmurs ,,,, It was a cat .,., surely the daft woman wouldn't have brought a cat to our bed ? <br />
But, I'd know that happy light purr anywhere ,, I ignored it, lest the stupid animal decided to make friends with me too ... then came the oh so quiet Ohh, Oohh, just every so often ,, it sounded for all the world like a young girl playing with her pussy ( oops I mean cat ! ) I let it go for a long few minutes ,, but I was definitely right ,, it was a pussy cat purring and it was a young girl ohh'ing at regular intervals with it !!<br />
I could resist it no longer ,, I turned to see if she'd resurected our monster Snoopy cat or our wee fluffy imitation kitten Muffin ?? Of course the minute I made my move the gentle purr became a great splurt & splutter with thrashing arms and the Ooohh's a snore of gigantic proportions much in tune with my old boyhood hero Desperate Dan after devouring a great Cow Pie !!<br />
Oh well ,,,, back to watching the ole hour hands again ?The Scudderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382592033956628186noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28839055.post-68504189699013555112011-06-28T11:50:00.000+01:002011-06-28T11:50:33.296+01:00Are standards slipping at Wumbledum ?Surely I'm not the only one to notice ?<br />
The "goings-on" at Wumbledum ( as Boris calls it ! ) this past week ?<br />
You'd have thought after winning the damned competition twice and attending every year since, that at least he'd have learned by now how to pronounce the place name?? Alas NO !<br />
Since the beloved & I have been a bit house-bound this past wee while we've taken to watching the Tennis Freak Show of an afternoon ... <br />
It's beginning, after watching almost every game through the 1st. week, to actually turn my stomach !<br />
Why you might ask ?<br />
Well I'll tell you, but be prepared to never enjoy watching this spectacle again without thinking of my analysis.<br />
There's the Grunting,, the Yelping & Yowling, the damned bad sportsmanship where opponents scream in delight when one makes a mistake ( would never happen on a golf course ! ) Then there's the throwing of the ball in the air and NOT hitting the serve,, Complaints if one's opponent needs a doctor mid game ,, all different versions again of poor sportsmanship. <br />
Then there's the Nadal affliction ,, he needs to have something pulled out of his backside between every rally !! I'm thinking of writing to advise him that thongs are perhaps not the correct sports attire for Wumbledum !<br />
But worse than all of these, worse by far ???<br />
It's the disgusting wiping of the head, face, bald bonce, arms, legs and other places and then PASSING THE SWEAT WET TOWEL TO SOME POOR UNSUSPECTING LITTLE BALL BOY OR GIRL !! <br />
OH YUK !! And sometimes they surreptitiously wipe ( even blow ) their noses while wiping .,.,<br />
Now think about it ,, if you were said little boy or girl wouldn't you just refuse ,, ? Bugger off Mr. Tennis Star ! Stick your sweaty towel where Raffa scratches I'd tell them ,,, No way am I touching your smelly, stinking, sweat wet rag .,.,<br />
I can just see FIFA lining up 22 -wee ball boys round the fields of play with FIFA emblemed towels heavy with snot, spit and sweat .,., ( although it would make for less of the stuff up your shorts when you do yon knee slide celebration of a goal !! ) <br />
I mean footballers don't have the decorum of tennis freaks do they ?<br />
Where oh where will it all end ?? <br />
Send your sports yuks to me at .,.,.,.,.,The Scudderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382592033956628186noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28839055.post-10137448864220404422011-06-18T12:29:00.002+01:002011-06-19T12:39:03.344+01:00The Screaming Returns<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-Y3cb3TpzqtLyuZmVlAcyb-LSz2tvwzI2wpwhKxtrfAIQ94L_xCbn9YEQ-nHUbJ-8uk3IXZlAHRs9UpP6dtk8hoxghR0SfWPzy9v0N6cLnfEVB1SvTds4Yy-Q-v6TlN-PjvKz/s1600/5805506607_5b0aaf50f8_m%255B1%255D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-Y3cb3TpzqtLyuZmVlAcyb-LSz2tvwzI2wpwhKxtrfAIQ94L_xCbn9YEQ-nHUbJ-8uk3IXZlAHRs9UpP6dtk8hoxghR0SfWPzy9v0N6cLnfEVB1SvTds4Yy-Q-v6TlN-PjvKz/s1600/5805506607_5b0aaf50f8_m%255B1%255D.jpg" /></a></div>So, there we were, having a ball at our son's 40th. Birthday Party.<br />
The Champagne was flowing, the buffet was loaded to overflowing and the wines, beers & spirits were high !! We met lots of old & new friends and decided later on in the evening that since I wasn't up to long nights ( & this one was looking like an early hours of the morning affair ) that we'd leave with our daughter and be home for a reasonable time ,,, midnight'ish !<br />
The beloved was her usual self ,,, all night life and soul ,, and even now, in the car, chatting away and giving us lots to laugh about on our homeward journey.<br />
We got our daughter to drop us at the corner of our street and we walked the 50-yards or so to our back door. <br />
We were both bushed ,, said we were going straight up to bed .... <br />
My beloved wandered into the hall cupboard to slip out of her shoes and at that point the world did a double-take !<br />
She collapsed coming out and fell hard against the hall radiator, giving her head a helluva wallop.<br />
I figured, in my wisdom ( doh ! ) that maybe she'd had a wee glass of wine or two too many?<br />
I man-handled her back into the living room and onto the couch ,,, She lay down .. I slipped a pillow under her head and checked it for any blood .,., she seemed almost ok so I threw a cover over her and sat down in my chair to keep a night vigil. I was a little concerned that she wouldn't speak to me ?? <br />
An hour or so later she got up, undressed and walked upstairs en route to bed under her own steam ,, ( but with me closely following at her back lest she fall again.)<br />
I asked her if I should call a Doctor but she poo-hoo'd the idea.<br />
Another couple of hours went by and I wakened ,, she was staring, unseeing into space ,,, <br />
This time I didn't ask,,, I called NHS 24 and within 20-minutes the Doc was at our door. <br />
One look, a few questions and some tests were hurredly carried out before he too was on the 'phone.<br />
An ambulance was here no more than 10-minutes later ,,, and sped us thro' the night traffic to Glasgow's Southern General hospital and straight into the High Dependency Stroke ward !<br />
My dearest had <strong>not </strong>been drinking to excess, hardly 2-glasses of white wine & a sip of champers had passed her lips that fateful Sat. night .,., and now here she was, in an intensive care bed only a few hours after posing for some lovely family portaits. ( Does the photo above look like a woman 4-hours away from a stroke ?) <br />
I was devastated ,,, I still am ,,, I should have called the Doc some 3 or 4 hours quicker !<br />
As everyone knows, with a stroke the first hours are absolutely vital to get the patient on track for a full recovery.<br />
The Doctors & nurses in the hospital were brilliant ,, attentive & informative .,., they told me fairly quickly ( although it seemed a lifetime ! ) that the only damage was her speech and her writing ,,, a very small but significant area of the brain had taken the hit with the clot but thankfully no paralysis, no loss of understanding ... all limbs still working ok. Chances were that she'd be fine and the delay ( fortunately ) did no additional damage .,., ( Thank God, for I'd never have lived with myself if I'd caused her to suffer more. ) <br />
The damage was carefully scutinized for a week ,, Cat scans, x-rays, wired up to heart & blood pressure monitors, physcal examinations ,, etc. etc,<br />
Seems she has an irregular heart beat ( maybe had this for many years without it doing any harm ).... her blood pressure was up thro' the roof ,,, her thyroid gland was way over active .,., <br />
As I understand it the thyroid was the main culprit ,, being so over-active it caused the heart rate to race & the blood pressure to rise ,, this in turn let go a small clot which headed straight for the brain and did the damage.<br />
My poor darling had no symptoms of any of these threats .,., indeed never a day's illness in her life ,,, ( well one nasty chest infection which took a long time to clear ) but that aside, a healthier woman over the years it would be hard to find ! ,.,.,., now all of a sudden she's on 4-different lots of pills ... daily for now & possibly a long time to come ! <br />
She has, of course, been under a lot of stress and has been working twice as hard as normal over the past 6-months following my illness & treatment regime .,., This probably contributed ? <br />
I really can't believe our family has been hit with another major trauma ,,, Did we really offend the Gods in some previous life ? <br />
Are we just getting old and frail .,., ? <br />
What ? <br />
Why ? Why my beloved ,,, ??<br />
Why now ?<br />
She's been my love, my rock, my beloved wife for all these years .,.,<br />
She simply doesn't deserve these extra fears & tears .,.,<br />
She's a carer with extraordinary love,<br />
She's my woman, <br />
And I could have lost her<br />
I'm SCREAMING again !The Scudderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382592033956628186noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28839055.post-43586790736907933292011-05-17T12:41:00.003+01:002011-05-17T12:53:40.239+01:00Urquhart Bloody Castle ! They can keep it.<div style="text-align: center;">Urquhart Castle sits beside Loch Ness in Scotland along the A82 road, </div><div style="text-align: center;">between Fort William and Inverness. </div><div style="text-align: center;">It is close to the village of Drumnadrochit. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Though extensively ruined, it was in its day one of the largest strongholds of medieval Scotland, </div><div style="text-align: center;">and remains an impressive structure, ( aye, wellll ) </div><div style="text-align: center;">splendidly situated on a headland overlooking Loch Ness. </div><div style="text-align: center;">It is also near this castle that the majority of Nessie (Loch Ness Monster) sightings occur.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqkm4a-kR3aGOuZBgrJ990Q-pzyN3F0bwQ2Cvd6tTYdkizDXTvc7eDb54WUFndqUOfKaqEloupHc4_twO2QLJ9ZKNpe8puLYO8PKSbgY4t_maVXp86kLNF_hiyYOmOSBkfylQ4/s1600/800px-Urquhart_Castle_distance_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqkm4a-kR3aGOuZBgrJ990Q-pzyN3F0bwQ2Cvd6tTYdkizDXTvc7eDb54WUFndqUOfKaqEloupHc4_twO2QLJ9ZKNpe8puLYO8PKSbgY4t_maVXp86kLNF_hiyYOmOSBkfylQ4/s320/800px-Urquhart_Castle_distance_2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">It's no' a bad wee bit of brickwork ,, albeit kinda run doon & in need of some TLC !</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">However it does have Major flaws ,,, </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Since my last visit the <strong>Prices</strong> for entry to walk down a wee bit grass and look closer at this old ruin have gone thro' the bloody roof !</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Some <strong>£7-20p</strong> for each adult and <strong>£4-50p</strong> per child !!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Our family outing would have cost us ( that's the 13-of us ) some <strong>£65-70p</strong> on a cold & rainy day .,., </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">had we been daft enough to pay !</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The only voices I heard coming or going in the direction of the castle ,, (eh, the couple of walls left standing that is !) were Americans or Japanese funnily enough !</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">That's not all either .,.,., <strong>flaws # 2 & 3 coming up !</strong></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The bastards have planted a <strong>full row of trees</strong> ( small 'ish at the moment but quick growing I'll wager ! ) </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">These are <strong>atop the wall</strong> with it's already interfering wire mesh, thus making life somewhat difficult / impossible for the would-be tourist Photographer.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">This vandalism of our right to view what is a natural Scottish resource ( Loch Ness ) made me very angry indeed .,., with their notices of <strong>" Do Not Stand On The Wall "</strong></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Aye right .,., just try stopping me !</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Who do these people think they are ? </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">If I want to look for Nessie in her Loch then I'll stand on them and their bloody wall if I feel like it !</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The <strong>final insult</strong> was when one of youngsters needed <strong>the loo</strong> ... </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">On enquiring where the loo was we were told ,,"Inside !" and to visit would cost us <strong>£7-20p + £4-50p </strong></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">That must be the <strong>most expensive pee in all Scotland .,.,</strong></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I can only assume the place is run by the English !</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Anyway we let the little fella pee against their wall ,, poetic justice I thought ?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">And we changed the wean 's nappy in the back of the car and promptly plonked the dirty nappy in their waste bin ,,, right outside the pay booth !! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">A last look over my shoulder as we walked away clocked some 20-odd people on the wall snapping away with cameras !</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I would urge all visitors to renege at paying this scandalous "fine" to look at our own country's natural landmarks ! Are y'all with me ?? </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Yo, A Result </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div>The Scudderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382592033956628186noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28839055.post-61112333975887986042011-05-07T13:00:00.000+01:002011-05-07T13:00:15.191+01:00Bye bye Seve ...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUVVeQJFil_mjrwGkgV9yXZkuLN11GZ_JKEwxidE84GOqJK0kMAqoz_sj3-a6oXYqKrVRi6QFytD9Cn6Vwn3gC4_30UYwlnpwi4SBo59OgBBHAYK2-rPUREpw1WXWuNZ2Ior7R/s1600/Scudder+on+the+1st.+tee.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="165" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUVVeQJFil_mjrwGkgV9yXZkuLN11GZ_JKEwxidE84GOqJK0kMAqoz_sj3-a6oXYqKrVRi6QFytD9Cn6Vwn3gC4_30UYwlnpwi4SBo59OgBBHAYK2-rPUREpw1WXWuNZ2Ior7R/s200/Scudder+on+the+1st.+tee.bmp" width="200" /></a></div>Last night Seve finally lost the fight with that malignant tumour in his head . What a sad day for all of golf .<br />
The wee man was a wizard on the golf courses of the world and will be so sadly missed ,,,especially by our Ryder Cup Team. He was inspirational as a Captain, a leader and a supporter.<br />
And so young ,,, 54 is no age to go.<br />
RIP Seve .,., I hope you get in some good rounds in that big Golf Course in the sky ! The Scudderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382592033956628186noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28839055.post-76920054295649032382011-05-07T12:48:00.001+01:002011-05-07T12:50:10.295+01:00Who's a Happy Bunny Then ??What a day ,, what a night ,,, what a brilliant victory !<br />
We arra peepel !<br />
Go Big Eck ... we're finally on the move to an Independent Scotland, but don't get rushed into it too soon. As if you would ,, <br />
I haven't managed to get the smile off my face all day :-) <br />
I look forward to seeing as many of the next 5-years as possible.<br />
I know you and Team Scotland won't let us down .,.,<br />
Now go GOVERN /.,.,., You de man .,.,YOThe Scudderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15382592033956628186noreply@blogger.com1