Thursday, July 26, 2007

Och the NHS is in Good Hands .... isn't it ?

The wee wifie is decidedly poorly ,..,
In fact as poorly as I've seen her in many's a long day.
So poorly that I had to call in the NHS Doc ,.,.
Now don't get me wrong, the Doc was a nice woman ,, pleasant in every way ,.,.
but did she fully understand the patient's symptoms ? That I'm not so sure of !
The illness took the form of severe stomach cramps, nausea, sickness, diarrheoa, terrible sweats, chilling cold, non eating and sleeping ,,, Aye, Christ, she's sleeping for Scotland !
The Doc thought maybe food poisoning ,, but then settled for "the dreaded virus" ( or as we all know it ,,, all together now ,,, The Doc hasn't a bloody scooby disease :)
So she gave out some pills ,,, anti "B's" for the virus ??? and other pain killing / plugger upper things for the stomach pains and the diarrheoa .....
Days passed ,.,.,. was the patient now on the mend ,, getting better on this medication that the Doc assured would settle the stomach pains in no time flat and sort out the dreaded virus ??? Was she eating at least ? stopped having the sweats and the pains ,.., ?
In a word ,.,. NAW !
The Doc was summoned again on Thursday pm ,.,.
A different Doc appeared ,, ( good service this btw,, on both requests for a home visit by the much maligned NHS they were at the patient's bedside within the hour ,.,.,.
But good practitioners in the art of healing ??? Mmmmmm, the jury's still out on that one ,, but we do have our doubts and concerns ,,, already and it's only later, Thurs. pm !
Doc 2 diagnosed a CHEST INFECTION ,.,.,. ?? Eh, whit ? Nobody said there were any symptoms of chest deficiences ,, neither the patient nor the caller outer of Docs !
Where did this magical diagnosis suddenly appear from then, we wonder ?
So it's not a virus then Doc, it's an infection ,.,. Ahh, we did wonder about anti "B's" your colleague dished out for viruses !!
"I'll give her a stronger anti "B" because it's a nasty infection she has there" he said ,.,.
"And is she still taking the two Paracetamols 4-times a day for the sweats ??" Eh, whit ?
What bloody Paracetamols .. nobody told us to take any Paracetamols ,, the patient did take a few of these early on herself for the accompanying headaches ,, but figured THEY were what was CAUSING her to sweat so much ??!!
OK, So the first Doc FORGOT to mention the Paracetamols ! Oh well, we're all busy people I suppose ,.,.., so,
The carer got on his bike ( figuretively speaking -- we have to remember the main players here are gerry-crumbles ),.,. straight to the chemist shop ,, oh sorry, we seem to have only Pharmacies these days !
The new anti "B's" were brought to the patient's bedside ,.,. The chemist ( sorry again,, Pharmacist ,,, it's just my age !) advised that these pills were strong and should really ONLY be taken on the back of FOOD ,,, remember food ,, that's the stuff the patient hasn't been able to look at for a week now ,, ??? The dear wifie was feeling like shit ,,, ( not feeling like A shit ,, nothing left there now after a week of no food ) just ,,eh, feeling badly, so took the first one of the new stronger anti "B's" to get the show on the road anyway ,,,
We then read the pill blurb ,, you know, the wee bit of "Get-Out" clause paper that the Docs and the Pharmacists seem to need to get by nowadays ?
Wait for it ,.., this you bloody won't believe ,.,.
The NHS is really great ,, it sees us from Cradle to Grave ,, that was the old Labour bullshit line that launched it ,,, wasn't it ?
Problem nowadays seems to be that it takes you out of your cradle ( of caring ) and PUTS you into your bloody grave ! ( whether or not you want to go ! )
The side effects which MAY be CAUSED by these anti"B's" ??
Hahahaha, if it wasn't so bloody tragic it would be bloody funny !!
You've already guessed of course haven't you ??
Yep ,,these pills may cause ,,, stomach cramps, nausea, sickness, diarrheoa, sweats ,,, ????
Oh I see, they give you more of what you called the Doc out for in the first place !!
Woop-de-bloody-dooooooooo ,.,.,.,.,. Arghhhhhhhhhhhh
God save us from the mighty NHS ,,,, please !

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

My Brilliant Brain

Watched a programme on TV last night ,, absolutely fascinating.

My Brilliant Brain, Accidental Genius ,.,. an insight into Savant Brains.
About people with exraordinary brains ,.,. some born that way, some after brain trauma ,,
One guy ( a born with ) just sorted numbers constantly in his head ,, he designed calendars of all sorts ,, but he could also remember everything .,,. could tell you what day it was on July 20th. 1912 ,, or any other day, date , year etc ,, He could also read a 500 page book inside an hour ,,,
And memorise every word !!
Eh, shows just what the human brain is actually capable of though ?
Another guy, without ever a lesson, could play piano like a concert pianist ,, and would play ANY piece, note perfect, after hearing it only once !! Truly amazing ,.,. however the down side was that most of these people were slightly less than normal in other ways ,.., ?

Disabled but also with a rare talent ? Remember Dustin Hoffman as the autistic in the Rain Man ?
The calendar guy couldn't look after his day to day needs ,, like shaving, cooking ,, shopping etc ,, The pianist was like a hobo ,.,.,.
A Scouser, Tommy, formerly a builder, who had a brain haemorrhage at 40 or 50 years old ( and with no artistic talent whatsoever ,.,. or any other talent of course. Well he was a Scouser ! Ha, almost just joking !! ) suffered severe brain damage, but suddenly after surgery became a manic 100 MPH talker ,, then developed an overwhelming need ,,, and I mean an absolutely bloody overwhelming need ,,, to paint & sculpt,.,. He covered every piece of paper in the house, then moved on to every other surface ,, walls, doors, floors, ceilings ,.., and his stuff is amazing ,, problem for him is he simply can't rest ,, or stop painting ,, he just goes at it morn to night ,, sadly however his wife just couldn't live with the new artist in him ,, she had to leave to find some sanity for her own life ,,,
Anyway, there was this Prof guy, from Oz I think ,, who is studying this Savant brain behaviour stuff ,,,
He reckons that one day ,, and maybe not too far off either, we will ALL be able to tap in to this incredible brain power ,,, to bring out a special talent that he believes we all have ,.,.
All I can say to that is WOW ! Let me at it ,, I want to try this ,.,. Please ,.,., I have always believed our brains are vastly under used .
One female ( another medic studying this phenomenon ) who also has the savant brain herself, spoke of her talent ,,, she was a writer ,.,.wrote everything from poetry to just her life experiences ,,, she told of also being somewhat manic ,,, wakening in the night and scribbling notes on post it pads ,, sticking them all over the place, hundreds of them ,,

Quote " I just had to get this stuff down on paper ,, my head was bursting with stuff I had to write down "
This describes exactly how (and why ? ) I started writing ,.,. I used these same words early on in my writing ??? My head too was bursting with stuff ,, it wouldn't stop .. and also wakened me in the night.
She is now on medication to curb her "enthusiasm" ,.,. I have just kinda dried up a bit ,,, it no longer wakens me ,,, but then according to my wife ,, nothing does !
However, a quite fascinating study ,,

I wait with baited breath for the Prof. to come up with his "Thinking Cap" that will bring these talents gushing out of us all.

I just know he's right.

Monday, July 16, 2007

The High Life ?

Why don't high rise flats work in Glasgow ? Nay, Scotland even ,.,.
in fact pretty much anywhere in Britain they simply don't work ?? WHY ??
They work fine in NYC ,.,. they work in Singapore ,,, Tokyo ,.,. many, many countries have them ,, I've seen them ,,, they look great and people like living in them ,.,. so,
Why here, do the residents of these homes in the sky seem to drop right off our antisocial behaviour scale ?
Is it that these other countries don't have social misfits ?
No, I hardly think so .,,.
Is it that we build our skyscrapers ( well, little versions thereof -- is that what's wrong ? -- we don't build them high enough ? ) in the wrong places ,,, far away from town, alone, ill maintained, and finally lost, and forgotten ?
We actually seem to build these ( and ours are small monstrosities by comparison to those in, say New York ) as some kind of multi-family prison block, specifically for our social outcasts ,.,. almost, as it were, to keep them that way?
Do our social departments actually interview prospective high rise dwellers to ensure we get a complete block of the worst misfits in our society living together ? Or is this pure coincidence ??
Please queue according to type for allocation of flat ,, druggies, alcoholics, asbos, wife beaters, etc,
I think not !
So, where is it that ( only ) we go wrong ?
Answers on a post card please to ,,,,, The Scottish Parliament, Edinburgh
or if you live south of the border,, the Bam Pot @ bloody 10, Downing St.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Glasgow's urban ghetto

Read yet another article today ( it's July 2007 for Christ's sake and still it goes on ! ) in the never-ending saga/circus that is the underpriviledged underbelly of Glasow's overspill.
This place overspilled ( blood generally ) back in my youthful days in the Bar-L !
Why can't /won't these people ever learn ? Aren't they tired of beating the crap out of one another yet ? Can't they see, or at least understand, that there is a different way ?
Or can it possibly be that all encompassing poverty simply rots your brain into a state of limbo from which you can't ever escape ?
I have often wondered what I would have become, what my life might have been, had I not managed to free myself from the jungle that was the Bar-L ?
Would I, now, like these poor, sad specimens of their sick society, trapped in this war zone, also be fighting my territorial rights and lashing out at any outside help / interference ?
Thankfully, for there but for "fate?" I'll never really know .,,.., but ,.,.,. oh boy, do I have my ( dark ) suspicions ?