Saturday, March 29, 2008

Tony Hancock ,, alas another flawed genius.

Last night I watched the TV drama "Hancock & Joan" on BBC4.

"This was not some tragic romantic fiction, but the painfully real story of Tony Hancock and his affair with Joan, the wife of his best friend John Le Mesurier. It was retold, without a whiff of sentimentality or melodrama, in Hancock and Joan, a poignant new play by Rick Cottan.
Ken Stott plays Hancock, Maxine Peake is Joan and Alex Jennings the long-suffering John."

It saddened me greatly ,.,. I was close to tears as the story unfolded ,,,
the end was almost too much to take ,, again !
Of course I knew this story well from the time when it all happened,
but here were the little details that I hadn't fully appreciated then.

I was a fan of The Man, the little man from 23, Railway Cuttings, East Cheam,
comic genius extraordinaire.

Joan Le Mesurier, wife and great love of John was simply captivated and captured by the tortured little genius ,,( well weren't we all ? )

John was also Tony's best friend ,,, which only made matters more difficult for the comic ,,
he loved John almost as much as Joan so was tortured even more !

His problem with the dreaded drink got worse I'm sure, because he had destroyed his friend.

Ken Stott was obviously a great fan too .,,. he played Tony magnificently ,.,.
every body movement, every facial expression, was pure Hancock.

Maxine Peake was just wonderful as Joan ,,,
(I believe Joan agrees for she is the only one still with us today.)
Alex Jennings too had studied his character with love ,, he WAS John Le Mesurier.
All three should get a Bafta for their performances ,.,. when I think of Maxine as the dumb slut in the fabulous Dinner Ladies ( and wasn't she quite superb there too ) ,,
well ,, is there any end to this girl's talent ?
But the final acolade must go to Ken Stott for the performance of a lifetime.
I'm sure Tony himself would have agreed ,,, and probably bought him a drink !
So long again HHH.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age. William Feather

Aye maybe so ,, but then again there comes a point when you really do have to ?
What a night we’ve had ,.,. screaming & crying in the street at 3-30 am ,, neighbours out calling the cops ,, 3 ,.,. yeah THREE Police squad cars arriving on the scene ,, ,,( in very impressive & quick time ! )
Our back door nearly getting smashed in with frantic battering ,,,
Guess what ,,, Guess who ,,,
Yeah, our young teenage neighbour strikes again ,,, terrified out of her mind but obviously somewhat the worse for drink ( and who knows what else ? ) ,,, as the proverbial fart ,,,

"Oh help" she cries on the back door step, "I hear noises in the house,, plates breaking in the kitchen ,, there’s somebody in the house, ,, please can I come in and sleep in your house ,, oh don't make me go back over there."
Then we have the Cops in our house interviewing this dipsy wee besom ,.,.
Turns out she’s not actually been in the house ,, lost her bloody keys hasn’t she !
"She’s had a skin full " the cop tells me ,, "she's probably disturbed a fox ,,, " I've checked the place out ,, the house is perfectly secure ,, nobody near the place ,,,
as if I’m some daft old bugger who can’t work all that out for myself from the smell of the booze on her breath ,,,, ( well maybe not the fox bit ,, it was 3.30am after all & I was still half asleep ! )

So I said to my own daughter next morning ( in jest of course ! ),.,.
" you see what you’ve got to look forward to when yours are of drinking age ,,, ha "
"Oh no I forgot," I continued ,, "Your man is going to teach yours sensible drinking habits" ,, ( unlike that daft wee bugger pal of mine across the road ,.,. the wan slowly but surely allowing his daughter to become the local drunk !! ,, and who will now be absolutely mortified that the whole street knows his business .,., ( him, the wife and younger daughter are away for a week's holiday leaving this one at home alone ,.,. aye, no chaperone in sight ! He's probably lucky he didn't come home to a teenage party wrecked house ?? How bold was that !)

Thanks hen, I can hear him say ,, fur nothin' ! You're grounded !!

It was our next door neighbour and his daughter who first heard the screaming and phoned the cops ,.,. and who were also out in the street being nosey when all the cops arrived ,,, Oops

My daughter, in reply to me, laughed uproariously ,.,.,
Quote "oh Christ - hahaaahaaaahaaaa - what will they do if she ever gets a job in another town and has to live in a flat of her own !??
"Easy" I replied ,, "the cops'll lay on 3-squad cars nightly to see she gets to bed ok " :)
NB : All names & places hidden to protect the guilty !!

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Auld guys don't do Gadgets

I play golf with some old guys ,.,. well that way I can win !
Anyway some of them are very good ,,, golfers that is ,,, and fun, but boy are they out of touch with the world of modern gadgets ?
Take mobile phones for example ,.,.
Peter, one of our number ( approx. 72 years of age but very fit & active in body if not in mind !) received a new mobile from his offspring.
Months have passed and he still has absolutely no idea what to do with it ,.,. "it keeps going onto that voicemail thing and I can't get it out again" he tells us.
Turn it ON we all shout ,,,
"I took it into Woolies the other day to see if they could tell me whit was wrang with the bloody thing."
"What kind of phone is it" the girl asks him ,.,.,. "it's one of these Nookie things he tells her ",, aye in all seriousness ..,,. After about 5-minutes talking to Peter she has a few colleagues round her all giggling ,,, Peter honestly hasn't a clue what they're all sniggering about ,,,
He even suggests that maybe he should trade it in for one of the Voodoo phones ,, he's heard they're easier to operate !
Big Tam ( his pal ) suggests ,,, "Naw, get wan like mine" ,, he pulls it out of his pocket and shows it to Peter ,.,. "dead easy to work and only £9.99 ,.,."
"Whit kind is it" says Pete ,.,.,. "It's a wee Shagem !!" ,,, and like his pal he really does think this is the correct pronunciation of his phone's manufacturer .,,.
I thought I'd join in the fun ,,, by this time we are about 10-strong round the table ( the course is closed because of snow ! )
So out comes mine from my pocket ,,, "how about the Sony Erection" I ask him ,,, the sniggering spreads from Woolies to Cowglen ,.,., but does a complete bypass round Pete & Tam!
At this ,, thankfully the greens manager declared the course open !!
God only knows what they'd make of some of my son's crazy gadgets !

Monday, March 03, 2008

There's Sales Flyers .. and then there's the High Flyers !!

I received a flyer through my letterbox this morning ,.,. it was a beaut !
All the way from God himself ... well his Baptist Reps here on planet Earth at any rate ...
They want to say a prayer for me ,.,. Gee thanks Big G ,.,.
How's about putting right that wee mistake you made on our Lotto numbers back in 2002 ,.
The complete set of 6 this time would sure make me sit up and take some notice of the power of prayer !
He also offers to do the business if I send in MY prayers for friends, family & even neighbours in my street ( but only during the month of March !! ) I guess he knows some of these people ,,, Christ ( oops ) I wouldn't give half of them hoose room, never mind a prayer.
These religious nutters think that some 32% of all Scots still believe in the power of prayer ! One in three of us say that praying makes us feel better & happier ,.,. Mmmmmm .. arithmetic not their strong suit either I see.
God wants us to tell him ( they say ) what makes us happy, what makes us sad, thankful, worry etc ...
And there was me thinking this omnipresent super being already knew all this stuff.
We can contact the Big man on the internet ( it's true then ,, Google does have the answer to Life, the Universe & Everything !! ), via the telephone ( I now have have a direct line ! ) ordinary snail mail ... or even by dropping a note off in the Prayer box in the Church foyer ( I wonder ,,, do they do popcorn and ice creams in there too ? ,.,..,
Well maybe not but their flyer does give us a voucher for a free coffee and cake in their Oasis Café !)
You have to wonder though ,,, what planet are they really on ?

Or is it just as the old philosopher used to say ,,, The gods too are fond of a joke. - Aristotle