Thursday, May 24, 2007

Sandyhills, My Spiritual Homecoming.

Yesterday, as my little American friend Trent would have said, I HAD A GREAT DAY !

I had been looking forward to this day for months ,, nae, years ,, and had worried that maybe the dreaming of it would far outshine the reality.

But I needn't have concerned myself, for, as it turned out, it was a truly awesome day !

I played Sandyhills again, for the first time in over 40-years ,, the golf course where I first played the game as a skinny teenager !

I didn't remember much of the place ,, a few holes looked familiar but not many ,,, like all golf courses, naturally, it has changed over the years, but I was back, and I loved every minute ,,

Memories of my old pal Alistair ( Best ) came flooding back ,, our school days, afternoons spent in his Killin St. home ,.,.,.., sadly he couldn't be there with me this time ,, he died, 2-years ago now.

I played "out of my skin" and had by far the biggest win of the day finishing 9-up ,.,.

I shot an amazing 38 out and 40 back giving me a score consistant with an 8 handicap player rather than my existing 16. My opponents ( only the President and Captain of Sandyhills ) gave me the "Man of the Match " award and re-christened me "The Scud Missile Launcher", having seen the "Scudder" motif on my hat !
I helped our team ( Cowglen Seniors ) to a famous 5-1 victory and the lifting of the Match Trophy.

But what made me happiest of all, and the day really great, was simply returning to my Spiritual Golf Home.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh Happy Days.

Monday, May 21, 2007

My Daughter, the Blogger !

I've been reading my dear daughter's Blogs these last few weeks ,,
Not that I don't always read them ,, it's just that recently she seems to have become more of a "Ranter" than a Blogger ! Of her last 15 or so blogs some 11 have been "RANTS" about one thing or another ! She doesn't always log them as rants of course but that's what they are. Mmmmm ,,, maybe it's her age ? Or maybe it's Mamas Chicken Pox blues ?
Here are some of her moans ,,,
First there was her old Lap Top, the one that broke down so frequently it really belonged to the Repair man !
Then she encountered Juvenile Delinquents in Asda ( whom she dealt with in fine fashion ) ,, Next came the Loonie Fringe Politicians and their Rants ! particularly the BNP and the so called Christians ( she wanted them flung to the Lions ! )
Then we had the crazy UK only Child Nut Allergy study ,,, a hoot of a read ,,
Hahaha then there was the breakfast cereal Mortar / Wallpaper Paste !
Her old Citroen car came in for a kicking next for having the audacity to lose a bolt holding the gearbox in situ !
Oh I nearly forgot the NHS ,, they give out DO NOT DRIVE Warnings on 19-month old baby medicine bottles !
After that we got the story about the miscreant able bodied idiots who use Disabled Parking spaces in Supermarket car parks ( have you seen how many spaces we have for the disabled these days ,, especially at DIY stores ! There just can't be that many disabled DIY'ers in the world, never mind visiting B & Q ? )
Oh, then we had the Incomprehensible Inconsistances ,, or why MS's new Vista wouldn't let her access MS's Hotmail ! A good question you have to agree ?
She finished it all off last week with a moan about Dreary Car Colours making our Dull Scottish envirronment even duller and drearier .,,. I reminded her of old Mr. Ford in America who made cars any colour you wanted ,,, as long as it was BLACK !

She's a Crusader my kid ,.,. and mighty proud I am to read her daily output but there's one Blog she's not finished yet and I'm dying to know ,.,.,.,. about her Top Secret Assignment, that most surreal of things she's been asked to do in a very long time ???
C'mon Phyl ,, do tell :)

Monday, May 14, 2007

My Blook is Coming !!

I see the new way for Publishing Houses to find up and coming authors is to appoint "Blog Readers" ,,,, people whose full time job is just browsing other folks blogs !
Progress knows no bounds !
The resulting publication of course being called a BLOOK !
Well whatever next ,,, I may yet be published ?

Friday, May 04, 2007

Just a wee Social Comment !

Scotland definitely believes in education:

The average Uni professor / School teacher earns more money in a year than a professional footballer gets in a whole week !

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Reggie's Folly

The wife of the piece is the dearly beloved ,, Let's call her Ann !

She ( who will be obeyed ! ) wanted to replace the strip of silicone filler with a plastic beading at the back of the wash hand basin in the downstairs toilet ,.,. Oh and ditto on the wash hand basin AND the bath in the upstairs loo too.

So she set about removing the old beading / silicone filler stuff, upstairs first.

I fretted that she was about to break wall tiles and /or wash hand basin and /or the bloody bath !

However with my expert help and guidance :) she managed to complete both with no real damage done.

So next it was onto the downstairs job !

Now to let you understand ,,, The downstairs loo was installed by REGGIE ,,, a sortofa plumber from far away Newarthill that we hired once, in a weak moment.

First we tried to scrape away the existing silicone filler stuff from behind the basin ,,, it was good stuff 'cause it wouldn't come off ! So, we scraped a bit harder ,,, Oh shit, the WHB fell away from the wall ,,, how the hell did that happen ?,, Ah, you forgot didn't you ,, REGGIE ,,, there were NO screws fixing the WHB to the wall ,, only a big dollop of glue !

I tried to balance the basin ( now hanging precariously by the pipes to the hot and cold taps ) ( which incidentally, are on the WRONG way round from every other set of taps in the Western World ) on the pedestal but bugger me, it wasn't fixed to the floor in any way at all ,, not even Reggie glued ,.,.,.

So picture it, if you can ,,, we, two daft old buggers with Stanley knives in hand ,, trying to hold not only the basin but now the pedestal too, to stop it all collapsing to the floor and undoubtedly starting a flood ,, 'cause it's a fair bet in my head by now, that at best Reggie will have only half tightened any pipe fittings ?

God only knows how, but finally, after a few minutes we got ourselves sorted to the point where that lady we called Ann is holding the pedestal steady while I hold the basin on top of it with one hand and try screwing in one of the two missing screws with the other !

Absolutely no way is this going to work ,,, I can't get a screw started in the hole ,, it can only take a very short "dumpy" screwdriver ,,, I try on and off for the next 30 minutes to achieve some kind of fixing to the wall ,,, Alas there's nothing else for it ,,,I get Ann to hold the lot while I get underneath and uncouple the hot and cold pipe connections ,,, fortunately wee Reggie has done a job here ,, and we do have inline isolation valves, so we escape the flooding ! ( for now ? )

Finally, after what seems like an hour, I lift the whole basin free and plonk it down on the carpet in the hall ,, Ah, forgot the hanging pipes and waste would still be full of water didn't I ? ( dirty water in the case of the waste ! ) Ach, The carpet cleaning job can be next !

Now I go about trying to get a couple of fixing screws into the (solid wood) wall. Ok that's done !

While we have this all off the wall the Ann person decides a new strip of wallpaper is required to be fitted in along the back of the basin since it's damaged there ,, and suddenly appears with a roll of this paper as if by magic !! Honest, she did !

The re papering naturally requires some wallpaper paste which we "borrow" from our neighbourly painter/decorator next door.

Then it was back to the job of re fitting Reggie's Folly !

We pushed, we shoved, we tried lying upside down, inside out and backwards ,, could we engage these bloody screws in the wall thro' the basin ?? Not on your f***ing life ,.,.

We sat down for a rest, completely cream crackered by now ,, we had a coffee ,, ( and a cream cracker !! ) and finally after now some 3, or was it 4 hours, with a monumental effort we got it all back together ,, taps tightened, ( for they were loose too ! ) pipes fitted and basin on the wall WITH two screws halfway home ! A result !

Only then did she discover ,,,, the basin is shaped ,, curved if you will ,, arced even ,, NOT BLOODY STRAIGHT ,, and so impossible to fit with her plastic bloody beading strip !!

It's back on the wall now with a thin line of white silicone filler just to tidy up the edge betwixt wall and basin ,,,, or put another way ,, THE WAY IT BLOODY WAS TO BEGIN WITH !!

Next day and every day since, my body has ached with all the bloody contortions I did under that basin ,..,,. and not even any sex was involved !! She's gonna put me in an early grave !