Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Flying Balloon

About 4-am this morning I'd had enough !
My tum was aching badly and I felt I needed to go visit my Throne ( well it is THE Wedding Week ! )
Like you didn't know & had managed to escape it ? 
I sat down, resigned to yet another 15-20 minutes without sleep !
But then something very strange ( and almost wonderful ) happened.
I let out the loudest and longest lasting ,, eh, how shall we put it ? .,.,., Bottom Raspberry I've ever experienced !! It went on for some 50 seconds .,. loud and non stop !
My tum felt like a great load had just been lifted ,, seemingly shrinking visibly as I hugged myself .,., the pain went ,, I was almost happy at having got up ,,,
Then it struck me ,,, In my mind's eye I pictured a great balloon with my rugged, older male model look face on board ,, trimmed beard and all, flying up & down and all around the lav !!
I fully expected at any moment to find myself  lying in a heap at the bottom of the stairs with a final weeeeee ,,
So it started ,, I giggled ,, I laughed out loud ,, way too loud for 4-am ,, and after a few minutes almost fell off my Royal seat in hysterics ,,,
Wonder why none of the Docs or Nurses ever mentioned this as an optional exit at the hospital during all my Chemo sessions !!
What a way to go ?,, as a deflating balloon flying round the Lav ,,,

Monday, April 18, 2011

All in a Week's Holiday !!

Just back from a lovey week away with all the family Up North .,.,
It was noisy with 7-we'ans running wild but it was also good fun .,.,
The weather was a real bonus ,, didn't think they ever got sunshine in the upper reaches of Scotland ,,
We were esconsed in a Baronial Mansion in the little town of Keith, sort of mid way between Aberdeen and Inverness and so we also visited some gorgeous little seaside towns and fishing villages on the coast .,., Banff, Macduff, Cullen ,,,
Cullen was the highlight for me, a beautiful town, with a glorious beach and a little café / bistro selling it's very own home made Cullen Skink .,., a must eat for true Scottish Fish Chowder fans !
This and the best Ice Cream shop in the highlands made it a perfect day for us and the kids !
The day was topped off though, by a superb ( if somewhat un PC ) comment from my dearly beloved ,,,
On passing a Chinese take away, by name The Castle Chinese Take Away, Thomas, our son-in-law commented, "Huh, they could surely have come up with a better name than that for their restaurant ? " .,.,( this was one of the few places we visited with not a castle to be seen !! )
The wife, having just enjoyed her Chowder lunch, quick as a flash, had us all on the grass laughing hysterically ,,,
Yeah, she said ,, something more appropriate to the town .,.,how about The Cullen Chink !!
( Humble apologies to any sensitive Chinese reading my Blog ,, but it was said with only fun in mind !)
Unfortunately, on arriving home we found the hall stairs and lower floor area completely flooded and water dripping from the loft through the upstairs light bulb .,., from the amount of water we estimated that it had started dripping as we loaded the car to leave a week earlier !! :-( 
Today, a day later, we had a power cut, seemingly .,., but after some investigation alas no ,, it was our kitchen kettle that that had blown the overload circuit breaker ,, so we're now down a hall carpet and a kettle !!
Surely this is not some ancient Confucius curse being brought to bear on us ?,,, it was only a joke pal ,, honest !!
Anyway, I'll away and investigate the kettle fault just in case it's fixable ???

Thursday, April 07, 2011

OMG, the Shame !

A couple of days ago I received the worst news I've ever had !
No, nothing to do with the dreaded "C" disease this time ,,, possibly even worse ?
My great Dane of a son-in-law only went & poked his nose into our Family Tree .,., a project I started many years ago ,,, He was trying to find & add further back generations of MY family ( doesn't he have a family of his own to poke into ? )
I had listed only back to my Mum & Dad  and their Mums & Dads ,,ie, my grannys & grampas, all done via old aunties & uncles when I could sit them down for long enough & ply them with a few wee drams to keep them talking ! The Dane of course goes much deeper into old archives via the records office in Edinburgh ,,,
Anyway to cut a long story short and hopefully to then bury it deeply after that ,,, it turns out ( and there's no doubting it sadly ) that my paternal Granny, one Mary Hannah Potter was ,,, ugh, I can barely bring myself to say the word ,, ENGLISH !!  There, that's it ,, now can we forget it ?
I'm 25% bloody enemy !!  My family of course are having great fun with this news ,, Of all the people in the world it had to be ME, the Scot Nat .,., Jesus, I'll never live this down ,, In they come whistling the National Anthem, asking me to change the TV to Sky Sports Cricket ,, even bought me a bloody Union Jack hat for Christ's sake ,,,
My mate Steve ,, the Englisher I take great pleasure in beating at golf in our weekly "Auld Enemies" game also happened by for a visit when this dreadful news broke and is beside himself .,., giggling like a loon while still drinking MY booze. Hey Dougie, you could have played for the England footie team if we'd known this earlier !! Are you going to organise a street party for the Royal wedding Doug ,,,  The wife is threatening divorce !
The one burning question in my head is ,,, WHY didn't my old man tell me this ,, that his Ma was English as were the multitude of aunts, uncles & cousins this woman gave us ,,, her sisters & brothers are all bloody foreign as well !  He kept this obviously distasteful info to himself  for all his 74-years ,,
I now feel like an Alien in my own beloved Scotland .,.,
What to do ?,,
I'm away to see if my head fits the oven !

Friday, April 01, 2011

A Short but Funny Wee Tale from the Bedroom !

I've developed a shake !
Another of the dreaeded "Side Effects" I guess ,, you'll  notice there's never any mention of "front effects" or "back efffects" ,,  It's always side effects !
Anyway this "shake" takes the form of a short duration but quite violent & uncontrollable twitching of the foot ! ( generally only one at any given time ? )
Unusually for me, :-(  I was having a wee moan about this after it woke me with a start in bed .,.,
"Bloody pills" I muttered in the B-loved's ear .,., "must talk to the Doc about how to get rid of this ...."
God bless her quick wit,.,.,. in a flash, at 3-am she turned and looked at me and said .,.,.,
Och, Away and join Riverdance !
A hearty slap on the butt and we were both in tears of laughter again .,.,
It's becoming a night time tonic, this middle of the night giggling :-)