Friday, November 23, 2007

It's the NHS at it's best, again, but not as we know it Jim !

My dear Ann was still suffering this damned infection last week ,,, it still had her in it's hold ,,,

The Doc. thought it had either migrated from her chest ( for it is definitely clear there he says !) to her kidney ,,( or of course it could be another fresh, new infection ,.,. after all, her immune system has been rocked to it's foundations over the past few months ,, fighting on all fronts ,, )
Mine too :)
After taking her urine sample to the Doc's at 8-30am ( me that is ,, I get all the good jobs to do !) she decided she was going back to bed to sleep 'till noon so I should go play golf ,,, she said !

She had slept ok the night before ,, no hots, sweats, or anything ,, so I decided I would ,.,.
However the funny part of this tale is not my performance on the golf course ,,,
Phyllis, the heavily pregnant daughter, had offered a sample bottle for the said urine ,,, since she had plenty of these little pregnancy test recepticles at home ; save me the trip to the Doc's to pick one up ,,,
SO, when I handed it in at the Doc's reception I naturally explained where I had got the bottle ,,,, with the white lid, ( for pregnant women's urine apparently ) instead of the normal ( non pregnant everybody else's urine ) red lid !!

Ipsofacto, because Doctor's receptionists are not the brightest of people, well not at 8-30am anyway ,,, this poor wee confused receptionist wuman thought ( nay, was absolutely convinced ! ) that I was handing in a sample from the pregnant one !!
Both Doc. Tobias & I had to spell it out for her ,.,. and more than once ,,, that this was the infected woman's sample ,.,.., finally she grasped the situation ( or so she said ) and decided that maybe she should just change the coloured top on the bottle ,.,. or transfer the sample to a bottle with the required RED lid !! Oh Lord, give me strength to deal with the NHS ,.,. please !
I wouldn’t be the least surprised to get the all clear on Monday ,,,, ,.,. telling me that my wife is NOT pregnant !
Meantime more paracetamols and plenty fluids for the patient with ,.,.., eh, the unknown infection ,,,
And for me ? ,.,.., that'll be the Whisky fluid , just in case it turns out that she IS pregnant !!
Oh, and the infection is ok for a visiting pregnant daughter ,, he doesn't know what it is but he does know it's not contagious to her or the kids ,.,. !! Aye right ,.,. it's medicine ,, but not as we know it Jim !!

Anyway I went to the golf ,, I slipped on the ice and fell yet again ,, bang on the flat of my back ,, again ! Sore as hell ,,, again !
I had insisted to my wife before leaving that she phone me if she needed me ,..,,
but we made no contingency plan if I needed her !! or indeed if I fell and smashed the mobile phone under my bum !!

Saturday, November 10, 2007

The Phantom Creamola Foam !

This morning I just read THE strangest thing !!
Last week or so when my dear wife was somewhat delirious in one of her fever sweats ,,,
she suddenly asked me, through bleary, sleepy eyes to get her .,,.,. a drink of Creamola Foam !!
She was very specific : it had to be Creamola foam ! Nothing else would satisfy this high temperature craving
Bizarre ,, this very morning my heavily pregnant daughter has blogged the following story. ( neither mother nor daughter had mentioned this urge to one another ! )

Pregnancy is so strange. I woke up at 3-am and felt a sudden urge to blog Creamola Foam!
My granny used to buy Derek and I it as a treat on Friday evenings when I was 7 or 8 years old and I suddenly remembered how much I loved it. Of course thinking back on it, it was probably an unhealthy mix of sugar and acid of some sort that these days would be expected to kill a child at 100 paces but I would love to taste it once more just to confirm that theory.
But apparently they no longer make it :-( "

Could it be that the mother is living thro' a phantom pregnancy with her daughter ??