Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Does being Catholic in Scotland mean you now have to Pay to Pray ?

Hahahaha, Oh how gled ah um tae huv taken the ole family stand on religion and remained true to oor faith ,,,
A'm happily descended frae a long line o' Athiests ye see !
As they'd say doon Ibrox way ,, We arra peepel !!
Last laugh tae the Orangemen this week I think, eh ?
But doon Parkheid they'll be pullin' their hair oot at the news that El Papa is on his way to see his flock ,,,, but only the wans wi' a spare 20 quid entrance money,.,.,. EACH !!  Jesus ,,, Oops !
How absolutely outrageous !
This is a con of monstrous proportions .,., a scam on their ain folk .,., Imagine charging aw these good wee holy wullies jist tae look at their ain head bummer ! And nae doobt behind a bullet proof screen in the ole Popemobile as well ? Come on !!
And them with all the riches of Croesus?
This could well sound the death knell for Catholicism in Scotland, because religious they might have been brought up but in Glesca, DAFT they're no' !
Can you imagine ( and remember this is the team that frown on contraception ! )  wee Anne Marie & her man Big Dominic & their 6 we'ans wanting a front row seat ? 
Eh, That'll be 160 quid hen ,,, Aye right !
I don't care how good a priest this guy might think he is, but in Glesca he 'aint that bloody good !
Be interesting to see how soon the ticket price starts coming down ??

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Grandkids are truly Magical

The daughter never ceases to amaze me.
My dearest first born showed no sign of what her future held as a young teenage woman ,,
She studied, she travelled, she partied, she was a fairly ordinary person until she became ,,,,,
The Earth Mother !

Time was when I thought ,, she's such a quiet, fragile wee soul ,, How will she cope with life ?
Then, all of a sudden she's a gifted Linguist .,., a University graduate and she's brought home a Frenchman ,, Then she made me a grand daddy !! Jings, how'd that happen !
Now I think .,., whatever next ? ,,  and she made me a grand daddy again !! Bloody Hell !
After that she seemed to "settle down" :o)
But only a few years later and  she's gone & done it again .,.,.,?? Eh, whit ? ( Have I been a tad remiss in her education ? Do I need to explain to her how these things happen ? )
The beloved & I are astounded by now ,,, THREE grandkids ? Wow ...
You see .,., Lots of we'ans just wasn't our scene ,, both of us were ONLY children and we thought that made for a busy hoose !

Then came the Bomb !  A Divorce ??  Bloody Norah ,,  How will my we'an cope with life now !!

Well, what d'you know ?  She's married again ,, ( brought home a great Dane this time ! )
Then she started life afresh .,.,., Jingscrivenshelpmaboab .,.,
Before I even had time to take in the divorce, never mind the new man ,, we have grandwe'an #4.
And as if just to confirm her overly active fertility glands ( she appears to just look at her man & bang ,, she's off to the maternity ward again ! ) we are now the proud grand parents of  FIVE !!
I'm now in danger of becoming The Super Pumpa of Cowglen ! 
Now I think .,.,., she's mad, she's off her trolley ,,, all these we'ans constantly demanding her time & energy. She'll still be doing the school run when she's in her dotage !
A life dedicated to her own home made Clan ,,, the multi National Gautier/Widmann/Buchanans !

But then I stop .,., I read her wonderful Blog.
( see copy below ... I hope she doesn't mind me sharing this with my readers ? )  
What have we now inherited here ?
Three amazing kids with the French hubby .,.,.,Mini Mec, Baby Magic & the Pudgeman.
Two further fantastic kids with the new Danish hubby ! .,., Anna Bits & Teeny Troll.
Oh ,, And a daughter to die for .,.,
It's a funny old game ,,, life !

That Blog :- LARGE FAMILIES ( Me and my babies ) Originally uploaded by PhylB
Sometimes when I look at my kids, I think of what most people consider the norm - and that would probably have been a photo of just me on a bench with Mini Mec & Baby Magic  How much less rich my life would have been if I'd stopped there.
They are all so different and so alike in many ways.
Anna Bits and Mini Mec are quite alike in their interests, The Pudgeman, Baby Magic and Teeny Troll look very alike. I can see myself in all of them regardless of gender and colouring. Looking into your own eyes in another colour touches the depths of your soul.
This weekend Mini Mec has spent most of the time listening to the same song over and over trying to learn the lyrics - something I myself would have done at his age.

Baby Magic sometimes drives me mad with her awkwardness and shyness - again traits I too suffered from at her age though overcame.

The little ones are so endearing with their smiles, their chat, their nonsense, their understanding of the world.

I watch how Mini Mec interacts with the smallest ones and I feel pride at having raised such a gentle, lovely boy. He acts indecisively like his father and I cringe. I ask him to tidy the kitchen and he does a sloppy teenage job and I want to kill him but he was my first love so I can't. He smiles his smile and sparkles his beautiful green eyes and my heart melts. He comes home from school and leaves a report on his bed, forgetting to show me it. I find it and read he is one of the cleverest kids at his high school, polite, well-behaved, full of enthusiasm and I hold my breath, thrilled that by some fluke I have managed to raise the perfect child. That's what being a mother is all about.

Baby Magic's teacher, at our parent meeting, stops on more than one occasion and gasps - My God you are the same person - she gestures like you, she moves her hair like you, she talks like you. I rarely see this myself. I am bemused and yet proud.
She says to me - Baby Magic is unaware of how bright she is. Again I am secretly thrilled at having got something right. I love her freckly nose, her clear green eyes. Her niggling with the little ones sometimes drives me insane. Her hours of patience with them in the next instant amazes me. She's more patient with them than me at times and her parenting wisdom stuns me when she sees better how to deal with them than me. Her refusal to ever brush her beautiful hair drives me batty. Her tomboyishness puzzles me as it is so far from where I was as a young girl. She talks enthusiastically about footballs in a way I'd have spoken about ABBA at her age - I have produced a me who is the antithesis of myself!

The Pudgeman is my fragile little angel: my lovely, caring, gentle boy. He has the most cheeky smile. His transparent blue eyes are flecked with yellow. Had I stopped at two kids, I'd never have known kids could have yellow eyes! He adapts easily to everything, yet is so needy of our love. He's my special darling Pudgeman. His laugh makes me laugh. His hugs are so precious. Nursery tells me about this well-behaved, happy little boy and again I am proud. His spot problem and other problems he's had since his horrible chicken pox as a baby make me want to protect him and cocoon him in love, to keep him safe from the world but as he grows and I offer him a little more independence, I am proud of my brave little boy.

Anna Bits has a fiery nature and two odd eyes - one darker than the other. Had I stopped at two kids, I wouldn't have known I could have had an odd-eyed kid! Her eyes draw me in and fascinate me. Her favourite word is Whhhhhhhhy? She argues with me and her older siblings because she believes she knows better than us at times. This makes me laugh because she has such baby logic. And yet the minute the big three go for a night with their father, Anna Bits walks about wailing as if her right arm has been removed. When they return, her face breaks into a smile and she tells them how much she loves them. She's very definite about her likes and dislikes. My like pink, my ikke like blue. She can make her large dark eyes fill with tears at a perceived wrong as she mutters, my am very sad. She is my sweet little drama queen, my daddy's girl. Anna Bits is obsessed with being a big girl in comparison with Teeny Troll. She studies her for hours so she can point out everything she has that is bigger than her baby sister. Being big is very important to her!

Teeny Troll is my perfectly content smiler. She's my happy eating machine, my nosy feeder. She pulls my boobs to look behind her when she's eating. She's my standing baby who refuses to bend in the middle. She wants to learn to walk before she can sit steadily. She loves to be hugged and kissed by me and all her siblings. Her face lights up for each and every one of them.
Had I stopped at two kids, I'd never have known I was capable of giving birth to a 4.5kg baby without drugs and smiling five minutes later! She smiles and observes all day long and I need her as much as she needs me. I watch her sleeping. She sucks in her sleep and I wonder if she's dreaming of me. She is another beautiful precious child with deep thoughtful eyes of another odd grey/green/blue shade.

The only thing that makes me sad about my large and beautiful family is a fear that I won't live long enough to watch the youngest ones reach my age.
I can't ever imagine having only had the two kids society expected me to.
I love each and everyone equally. I love the way they are individuals and I love the way they need each other.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Woe is us !

This week sees the start of a BIG week for me on the golf front .,.,
as a player & a spectator .,.,
Aye, me AND a few others !
There's a pile of Pro's from all over the globe up at St. Andrews sitting about, clicking their heels and .,.,., waiting ,,,
The four hole Past Champions fun opener is already cancelled !
You see, our Scottish weather has reverted to type just as it's all about to kick off !
The World Cup of Golf starts at 6-am tomorrow morning !
And so we have the Rain ,, 70-MPH horizontal stuff !
We have the Gales ,, blowing cobwebs & umbrellas far out to sea !
We have the Haar ,, our euphemistically termed coastal sea mist !
Hahaha, have you ever tried playing golf in these conditions .,., on one of the finest ( but also most difficult ) Links courses on the Planet ?
Well I have ,, not St. Andrews Old Course unfortunately but Turnberry's Ailsa course .,.,., a similar sacred ground, and believe me, to see a ball you've hit with everything in your armoury into the rain/wind/mist and watch it turn in the air 200-yards out and come back at you, landing less than 100-yards from the tee is one of the most debilitating sights .,., to try putting your ball on the green when it won't stop moving in the wind as the rain drips off the skip of your bunnet ,, well what can I say ?
I'll tell you ,,,, This is REAL golf my chums ,, this will separate the men from the boys .,., and I know who my money isn't going on to lift the Claret Jug of 2010 .,.,
Go home Tiger son, you know you can't play proper golf .,.,, I'll be surprised if you even make the cut ! Here 'aint Florida, this sky has no sun and yon manicured lawns with the kiddie's sand pits & paddling pools that you guys call golf courses are just a joke compared to the real McKay.
( yeah I've played there too ! )
Worse still ,, my own Seniors Group have our annual away match tomorrow morning at the Championship Haggs Castle course and this too must go ahead come rain or shine .,.,
And come Friday morning ,, whether my clubs are dried out or still wet I'm off to play the wonderful, glorious Turnberry Links again .,., a most savage examination of any golfer's mettle even in the sunshine .,., in the forecast above mentioned conditions it's almost painful, but would we pass up this round ? Not on your life ,, this is how we learn to play SCOTTISH GOLF !
Oh, Woe is us :-)

Monday, July 12, 2010

Wartime PM Winston Churchill's false teeth go up for auction !!

Now I've seen everything .,., and there was me thinking I couldn't live long enough to do that !

FALSE teeth worn by Winston Churchill during some of his most famous World War II speeches are to be auctioned off.
Eh? Whose mooth will they fit ,, how will they know before buying them ??

The gold-mounted dentures - one of three sets made for the wartime PM - are expected to fetch £5000.
Christ, nearly as dear as the current NHS version !

Churchill was said to have made sure he had several sets after breaking some in a fit of temper and being left unable to talk.
Temper, temper Mr. C ! It's nae wonder that Mr. Hitler got angry wi' ye.

Each was specially designed to retain his vocal tones as he inspired the nation in the darkest days of its fight against Nazi Germany.
Ah, that must be why I talk differently from how I used to ,, mine weren't "specially designed" other than to fit the mooth !

One set went with Churchill to his grave and another was donated to the Royal College of Surgeons' museum where they are tagged: "The teeth that saved the world."
See ,, ah huv seen everything !!
The third set was given back to dental technician Derek Cudlipp who made them.
They are now being sold by his son Nigel.
So hurry along to the auction folks ,,, you wouldn't want to miss a "golden"opporchancity like this ?
Hahahahaha ,, it's true then ,, the world has gone doo-lally ?

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Strawberry Fields ... forever.

I watched a Bio on Sky the other night ,,,
John Lennon.
His & Yoko's making of "The Plastic Ono Band" album.
Lots of background stuff from Yoko, Ringo and of course the working class hero himself !
It was so very intimate and heart rending ( again ) ,,, listening anew to some of these wonderful lyrics almost reduced me to tears ( again ! ) .,.,
In the end it was too much ,,, almost like watching him die all over again ,,

Last time the beloved & I were in New York was with my big son & his wife & wee son.
Derek & I are both life long John Lennon fans so naturally we visited the Dakota Buildings and saw the spot where he died & of course we had to go to the Strawberry Fields in Central Park to see the Imagine plaque.
This was a very moving experience, place to be, icon to see .,., we spent time just being there.
Lost a bit in our own thoughts ,, our minds sang his songs ,, we took some photos ,, we sat and contemplated life's fickle finger of fate ,, what more did John have to give us in the years now lost, we wondered ? We'll never know !

It suddenly dawned on me .,., I took pictures of this world symbol of peace, love and understanding ,, & so did my son ,, we took many pictures that day but not one do we have with both of us, together, paying tribute to a really special guy !

How remiss of us my son ,,, there's only one thing to do now, I feel ?
When are we going back to the wonderful Big Apple ?
The beloved & I have always promised ourselves another visit when the new Twin Tower is finished, having stood on top of the old one, 2-months exactly, to the day, before it was so savagly destroyed.
So that's a plan ?.. Yeah, yeah, yeah !!

Saturday, July 03, 2010

Phew, A'm fair wabbit !

Such a sporting few weeks we're having !
I've barely had time for my warm-down before I'm off again on another warm-up !
World Cup footie 3 times a day, Wimbledon all day, Golf tournaments every night .,., the final days of the Open de France & the AT & T National, the Scottish Open about to start, the John Deere Classic just about underway, the US Women's Open, .,.,.,
Not to mention my very own Cowglen Seniors Open this coming Wed. ! ,,
And of course if you're some kind of masochist there's even thon English bat & ba' games to watch !
A'm fair wabbit oot already !
And we still have all the big finals to come .,., Argentina surely must win the World Cup now that Brazil are gone ? With work horses Carlos Tevez & Lionel Messi how can they fail ?
And talking work horses, who is gonna dare take the Wimbledon crown from the fastest, hardest hitter in the business, the meanest little street fighter I've ever seen on a tennis court ,, Rafa Nadal ? This guy will run 'til his lungs burst, and he'll bite your leg off if you get in his way ,, what an incredible talent ! Nobody can match him this year, can they ?
Talking of English ba' games btw, have we all heard that OXO have introduced a new white cube, with a red cross on the wrapping ,,, to show support for the loser boys of the English world cup footie ., it's called ,, wait for it !
The Laughing Stock !! Yo ,,,
Anyway, who will win the Scottish Open ? Mmmmm, that's a little more difficult to predict ,,
But the Cowglen Seniors ?? Well I'm not one for bragging but I am one for trying !!
Watch this space, you just never know ! I was runner up last time out !

Writer's Footnote : Well, so much for the mighty Argentina .,.,
Don't fancy your chances much now Rafa !
And I'm saying nothin' on the seniors Open front !!

Thursday, July 01, 2010

The Beautiful Isle

The beloved & I are just back from a glorious week on SUNNY Arran.
Yep, 6-solid sunshine days ( aye ok, so a slightly short week ! for reasons to be explained later )
We basked in the sun, we lazed, we ate, ( boy did we eat ! ) we drank the odd glass of wine, swallied the odd spirit, aye and even downed a beer or two too !!
We walked, we bussed ( free too ) all round this quiet but gorgeous little "Scotland in Miniature" and we saw beauty at every turn. Sunny Arran is so much nicer than rainy Arran !
And how glad am I that Digital SLR photography has taken over from ye olde Film SLR in today's world, for I would have so grudged the cost of all that film & developing !!
I came home with some 500 odd new Visions of Arran ! ( Yes, the beloved was very patient with me !! )
Our landlord Colin & his Welsh wifie, June, were good company too ,,, both golfers as well ,, what a pity I hadn't just thrown the clubs in the boot :) , I could have played them for the Digs money !!
Wee Colin had not long bought himself a new wee toy for running around the beautiful Isle ( a lovely Harley Davidson motor cycle no less .,., Ooh-ya, Wow ! ) so hey, this B & B lark obviously pays !!
The reason for our short week btw was that these two were off to France for a wee holiday themselves and were booked to leave on the Sat. ferry ahead of ours !! They didn't take to the idea that we'd make our own breakfast on Sun. morning and lock up before we left ??
However, 6-days is just about ok for a stay on Arran ,,, after all, it's only 56 miles all the way round so we'd pretty much seen it all by then ,, we'd certainly sampled all the pubs & restaurants on offer and we'd even done the inland walk from Lamlash to Brodick .,., not to mention photographing Lochranza's tame deer ! ..... not bad for a pair of pickled pensioners ? ( aye & I even remember my alliteration ! )
So now it's off to download the photos onto the computer for posterity !
( obviously I should have got that word in with the pickled pensioners somewhere ?)