Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Old People ? Not us !

Pudge & I went for a walk today with the girls ,, my wife, daughter and almost brand new little grand-daughter ; Pudge's Granny, Mother and wee sister that is !
We strolled around the East Kilbride shopping mall. It was a Monday afternoon ,.,.
Strange things when paired together, shopping malls and Monday afternoons.
What a pity I didn't have my camera with me ! Again !!
You can have great fun just geri-crumble spotting ,.,. It's all you see ,.,. old folks, all sorts of varieties, from the real dottery old foggies through the tired and worldly weary to the pseudo- trendy ,.,. Oh and of course there's also a smattering of young ne'er-do-wells who should obviously be in school but are too busy perfecting their group hoodie wearing skills with their scruffy, dirty unwashed & bored look !
The old folks are by far the best watching subjects however.
I had trouble at times deciding who was with whom ,,, the old wifie wandering aimlessly looking in shop windows while this seemingly unrelated old guy with walking stick or sometimes even zimmer tagged along, but some way behind ,, a bit like Philip forever gazing at Lizzie's arse end. Only when the old dear stopped did it become apparent that here was a pair ,..,
Then there was the 75-year old guy ( if he was a day ) with his dyed blond receding hair line complete with pony-tail that any old horse would have been proud of ! He wore that with a motor-biker type leather jacket and would you believe Caterpillar boots ,, you know, the light yellowy coloured things ,.,. Honest he did ( now you see why I needed the camera ? ) The old lady he was with was actually having great trouble keeping up for he was obviously her toy-boy !!
A further selection of assorted, decrepit old souls were to be found simply passing their time away ,, waiting, you felt, on the call from that big Store Manager in the sky ,,, C'mon UP !!
They all seemed so OLD ,,,, what on earth was I doing there among them, I worried ???
However I consoled myself and my wife, and the daughter too .....
I told us all that real old folks are ALWAYS at least 10-15 years older than we are at ANY given time in our lives !!
Everyone seemed happy with this explanation ,.., except little Anna, who gave me a very odd look on this announcement. Pudge played possum all afternoon and saw nothing !

Thursday, February 21, 2008

She thinks it's Xmas again ! But worse, she thinks I'm bloody Santa Claus !

The woman I live with ( the current Mrs. B ! ) decided yestertime was to be her wee blow out day. She argued that very soon now it was her Birthday and very soon too, Mother's Day !
So she wanted indulging !
In fact both days are one and the same ,,, !! Now there's planning for you !
OK, birthday ,, I should buy her some little minding I suppose ,,, well you don't want to make a big thing out of it at her age do you ?
Ouch ! ,, that was my arse being kicked !
Well yes actually, she would quite like a big thing made of it ,,, or to be more precise an expensive thing ,, or even two !
You see, she had had her eye on this rather pretty handbag in one of our little designer ( for designer read expensive ! ) boutiques ,.,.,.
Now don't get me wrong, it's a lovely bag ,,, if indeed bags can be regarded as anything other than a pocket substitute ? It is green leather, with bits of glittery bling all over it ,,, oh and a bloody great silver PADLOCK ! ( which incidentally does nothing ,, zippo ,, it turns out to be simply a heavy bloody ornament on said bag !
Funny creatures wumen !
Her other little indulgence was a new Mobile 'Phone ,.., the Sony Ericsson's we both have ( the K750 i ) suffer from what is patently an inherent design flaw ( or to be more precise again ,, a bloody fault ! .,,. but will they admit it ,, will they hell. )
So naturally, me buying another 'phone would pick another Sony Ericsson like I'd choose to have a third oriface ! ie, positively my last resort of the top 100 mobiles ?
But again, wuman logic has to seen to be believed ! She wants a new SE ,,, but with more this, more that and of course a super-duper built-in state of the art digital camera.
Is she a great photographer, even an occasional picture taker ? Not on your Nellie ,.,.
NEVER takes photos !
But there you go ,,, a phone with a known fault history ,, a camera that will be used ,, eh when the moon turns to cheese and all for only 4-times as much as a telephone for using as eh, a telephone, & maybe at a pinch to send the odd text ? ,.,. not an MP3 player, not an FM radio tuner, not Bluetooth, not internet connected and without an expandable memory !
Anyway, to continue ,,,,, that's not all ! Listen up ,,,,
Would you believe on top of that we also have a daughter-in-law ( yeah I know ,, it was having that son that did it ! ) well she too has a child ,,, our little grandson Gordy ,,, so she too is a mother ,, and here's the rub ,,,, she too celebrates her birthday on the very same day !!!
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh, two birthday pressies, two Mother's Day gifts ,,, all on the same bloody day. I'll be bankrupt before the moth is out ! ( Hahaha, a Freudian slip if ever I saw one !! )
Perhaps we could be entered for stupidest Father and son awards, me and my daft boy ??
And to top it all off ,.,. I had a rather large bill myself for the repair to my golf trolley yesterday !! But that's important !
Ouch, ouch .... hey, that was sore !

Friday, February 15, 2008

Another pet hate !

All Politicians !

This is not just a pet bone of contention with no real depth to it .,,.

Rather it's a conclusion based on a lifetime of watching, listening and reading ,..,,. even talking to the buggers and writing to them expressing my opinions !!

They lie, they cheat, they misuse their power, they prevaricate, they sit back and let the bloody do-gooder brigade and the ethnic minorities run all over them .,,.,. now here I will go against all my gut instincts and say NOT all of them, but certainly 99% of them ,.,. they are in it simply for what they can get out of it ,, ie, only their own ends or put another way,, to line their own pockets ,,, Cynic ? Moi ?
Ok then, you try getting an honest answer out of any of them ! And that's not all ,,, they are dangerous ,.,. they can cause a fight in an empty house ,.,.

The old addage holds good to this day ,, anyone expressing a wish to go into politics should forever be banned from doing so !

Friday, February 01, 2008

Don't get me started either !

I'll give you Grumpy Old Men so a will ,, don't get me started boy !
I've decided to follow in the footsteps of writer Mitchell Symons,
and of course our very own Rab C. Nesbitt !
So, every week or so I'm gonna give you a little bullet about something that really annoys me !
Bet you can hardly wait ?

OK here goes ,,
#1 on my list are the people on TV who've never been to school ,..,,. well I suppose they must have visited the old education establishment at some point but patently they never learned anything on the GRAMMAR front !
You know who I mean ,,, the " I seen and I done " brigade ,.,.., football pundits are the #1 offenders, but there are many, many more ,.,. just listen :(
Arghhhhhhhhhh ...... GET THEM OFF MY SCREEN !