Saturday, December 22, 2007

Ha, The We'an just "popped out !"

At last ,,, God at long last ,.,. the we'an finally decided to come out and sample the Scottish winter ,,, So, a nae brain we'an then !
However, after keeping us all on tenterhooks for an inordinately long time she arrived very quickly indeed.
I got the call at 1.30am into Wed. morning ,.,. "Dad, I think we should perhaps go to the hospital now ,,, my waters are splashing about on the floor !!" ( the daddy-to-be of the piece doesn't yet drive hence my involvement )
That reminds me of the Glesca joke ,,,
The wuman calling the emergency services 999 for an ambulance ,,,
"I'm pregnant and need an ambulance quickly " she tells the guy on the other end of the 'phone.
"Where are you ringing from dear," asks the controller ,.,.
"Fae ma belly tae ma bloody feet" came the quick reply !!

Anyway, back to the story ,.,.,.
I raised myself from my cosy bed and out I went into the wind, rain, fog and ice cold night ,.,.
I got her to the Queen Mum's at just before 2-am.
The midwifie person examined her and suggested baby was a few long hours away ; she should go home and return around breakfast time. :)
She ( the daughter that is ) is possibly more experienced than the check-in staff up there and decided she was staying ! She was reluctantly assigned to a General ward.
Next, they tried to evict the father-to-be ,.,. telling him he couldn't stay with her in this general open ward ,, Go home they told him ! Come back tomorrow morning ,, nothing will happen before then ,.,., Ha !
He stubornly refused and sat in the empty, cold waiting room ,.,.
Well of course, you can all guess what happened next ?
Less than 2-hours after I dropped them at the front door, an hour after admission, little baby Anna Bridget Buchanan-Widmann leapt out ,.,. 4.24am to be precise ( which is more than can be said for the Medical staff ! )
Fortunately new dad (-no-longer-to-be ) was right there on the spot, in the labour ward with his beloved and ready with the scissors to cut his beautiful new daughter free from her mum.
7 lbs 8oz ,,, 20"long, healthy and gorgeous ,.,.,.,. see for yourself :)

As Stevie Wonder would say ,,, Isn't she Lovely
Oh and that moniker ,.,. you'll want to know ,.,.it's the most beautiful Xmas present ever for both grandmothers.
Anna is Danish for Ann and Bridget is English for Brita so the we'an has the reverse translation of his Scottish and Danish grannys ,.,.
Isn't that just so lovely and thoughtful of the new parents ?
Welcome to our world little one :)

Monday, December 17, 2007

Terrorist Attacks ,.,. The Spin offs ?

The pregnant daughter still is ,.,.,. pregnant that is !
She's now some days overdue and pissed off with the whole affair ,.,. well maybe ( hopefully ) NOT the affair but you know what I mean ,,,, This bundle she's carrying around everywhere is getting a mite heavy for my wee we'an to lug around !
She's also personna non grata with her new in-laws ,.,. they flew over from Denmark to see their new grandchild ,,, they came a couple of days before baby was supposed to make her appearance and were here for a few days after ,,, alas all to no avail. I have just dropped them back at the airport en route home ,.,. They came, they didn't see and I guess they didn't conquer either ,.,.,. Phyl said they did stare at her huge belly for all the days they were in residence, willing baby to come out to play, but Vikings or no', baby defied them ,.,.the little one already has a sense of humour obviously ,.,. we here all fully expect an appearance now today after the grandparents are safely esconsed back in the land of the great Danes !
Anyway ,,, I am writing here to RANT, not to coo at babies !!
Glasgow airport, as you'll all know, was the target of some really DUMB terrorist activity back a couple of months ago ,.,. you remember, the eejits who couldn't drive a Land Rover thro' a plate glass window without cocking it up !!
Well bravo, the Glasgow airport authority ,,, They've managed to capitalise on this near catastrophe ,.,.,. You now can't get anywhere near the airport front concourse to DROP-OFF passengers ,, not even old folks with multiple suitcases ! Fair enough ,,, no future terrorist bastard will be able to emulate their daft comrades in arms !! But wait a minute ,,,
There apparently is a drop off point ,,, somewhere ?? But you try finding your way to it ,.,.
As you approach the airport old front road ,, where you could drive all the way round, past the entrance ,,, you can no longer do ANYTHING other than be forced into a car-park ,,, and having got yourself in there it costs you £1 to get back out !! Park or not !!
I explained to the machine eating the tickets on the way out that I only passed thro' the bloody car park ,, and only because I was forced into it in the first place ,.,. I wasn't paying !
The machine told me to put in my £1 ,.,. I said I had got out of bed to simply run the Vikings to their 'plane and didn't carry money in my Pj's ,.,. It then said ,.,. well put your credit card in ,,,
I asked it if it carried credit cards in it's Jim-Jam pocket to bed ?
Well in that case sir, you'll have to reverse, go park ,, then go talk to Customer Services in the car park main office ,,, Yeah right ,,, in my pyjamas ?? And add more time to my parking bill ??
I called the machine a few choice names, questioned it's parentage ,,, and finally told it that it was one of a new band of theiving bastards, robbing people for no reason other than BECAUSE IT COULD ,.,.,.
I told the lifeless machine that this was the very last time I would be caught in such a trap ,.,.,. even if it means doing a three point turn at the entrance to their car park ,, and driving back against the traffic, I will never again enter it.
I finally put a credit card in it's jaws ( fully expecting it to be eaten after my abuse ) ,.,. but it flew back to me instantly ,,, £1 lighter of course ,.,.
I put it in my P/j pocket and drove off ,,, in the huff !!