Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Are standards slipping at Wumbledum ?

Surely I'm not the only one to notice ?
The "goings-on" at Wumbledum ( as Boris calls it ! ) this past week ?
You'd have thought after winning the damned competition twice and attending every year since, that at least he'd have learned by now how to pronounce the place name?? Alas NO !
Since the beloved & I have been a bit house-bound this past wee while we've taken to watching the Tennis Freak Show of an afternoon ...
It's beginning, after watching almost every game through the 1st. week, to actually turn my stomach !
Why you might ask ?
Well I'll tell you, but be prepared to never enjoy watching this spectacle again without thinking of my analysis.
There's the Grunting,, the Yelping & Yowling, the damned bad sportsmanship where opponents scream in delight when one makes a mistake ( would never happen on a golf course ! ) Then there's the throwing of the ball in the air and NOT hitting the serve,, Complaints if one's opponent needs a doctor mid game ,, all different versions again of poor sportsmanship.
Then there's the Nadal affliction ,, he needs to have something pulled out of his backside between every rally !!  I'm thinking of writing to advise him that thongs are perhaps not the correct sports attire for Wumbledum !
But worse than all of these, worse by far ???
It's the disgusting wiping of the head, face, bald bonce, arms, legs and other places and then PASSING THE SWEAT WET TOWEL TO SOME POOR UNSUSPECTING LITTLE BALL BOY OR GIRL !! 
OH YUK !! And sometimes they surreptitiously wipe ( even blow ) their noses while wiping .,.,
Now think about it ,, if you were said little boy or girl wouldn't you just refuse ,, ?  Bugger off  Mr. Tennis Star ! Stick your sweaty towel where Raffa scratches I'd tell them ,,, No way am I touching your smelly, stinking, sweat wet rag .,.,
I can just see FIFA lining up 22 -wee ball boys round the fields of play with FIFA emblemed towels heavy with snot, spit and sweat .,., ( although it would make for less of the stuff up your shorts when you do yon knee slide celebration of a goal !! ) 
I mean footballers don't have the decorum of tennis freaks do they ?
Where oh where will it all end ??
Send your sports yuks to me at .,.,.,.,.,

Saturday, June 18, 2011

The Screaming Returns

So, there we were, having a ball at our son's 40th. Birthday Party.
The Champagne was flowing, the buffet was loaded to overflowing and the wines, beers & spirits were high !!  We met lots of old & new friends and decided later on in the evening that since I wasn't up to long nights ( & this one was looking like an early hours of the morning affair ) that we'd leave with our daughter and be home for a reasonable time ,,, midnight'ish !
The beloved was her usual self ,,, all night life and soul ,, and even now, in the car, chatting away and giving us lots to laugh about on our homeward journey.
We got our daughter to drop us at the corner of our street and we walked the 50-yards or so to our back door.
We were both bushed ,, said we were going straight up to bed ....
My beloved wandered into the hall cupboard to slip out of her shoes and at that point the world did a double-take !
She collapsed coming out and fell hard against the hall radiator, giving her head a helluva wallop.
I figured, in my wisdom ( doh ! ) that maybe she'd had a wee glass of wine or two too many?
I man-handled her back into the living room and onto the couch ,,, She lay down .. I slipped a pillow under her head and checked it for any blood .,., she seemed almost ok so I threw a cover over her and sat down in my chair to keep a night vigil. I was a little concerned that she wouldn't speak to me ?? 
An hour or so later she got up, undressed and walked upstairs en route to bed under her own steam ,, ( but with me closely following at her back lest she fall again.)
I asked her if I should call a Doctor but she poo-hoo'd the idea.
Another couple of hours went by and I wakened ,, she was staring, unseeing into space ,,,
This time I didn't ask,,, I called NHS 24 and within 20-minutes the Doc was at our door.
One look, a few questions and some tests were hurredly carried out before he too was on the 'phone.
An ambulance was here no more than 10-minutes later ,,, and sped us thro' the night traffic to Glasgow's Southern General hospital and straight into the High Dependency Stroke ward !
My dearest had not been drinking to excess, hardly 2-glasses of white wine & a sip of champers had passed her lips that fateful Sat. night .,., and now here she was, in an intensive care bed only a few hours after posing for some lovely family portaits. ( Does the photo above look like a woman 4-hours away from a stroke ?)
I was devastated ,,, I still am ,,, I should have called the Doc some 3 or 4 hours quicker !
As everyone knows, with a stroke the first hours are absolutely vital to get the patient on track for a full recovery.
The Doctors & nurses in the hospital were brilliant ,, attentive & informative .,., they told me fairly quickly ( although it seemed a lifetime ! ) that the only damage was her speech and her writing ,,, a very small but significant area of the brain had taken the hit with the clot but thankfully no paralysis, no loss of understanding ... all limbs still working ok.   Chances were that she'd be fine and the delay ( fortunately ) did no additional damage .,., ( Thank God, for I'd never have lived with myself if I'd caused her to suffer more. )
The damage was carefully scutinized for a week ,, Cat scans, x-rays, wired up to heart & blood pressure monitors, physcal examinations ,, etc. etc,
Seems she has an irregular heart beat ( maybe had this for many years without it doing any harm ).... her blood pressure was up thro' the roof ,,, her thyroid gland was way over active .,.,
As I understand it the thyroid was the main culprit ,, being so over-active it caused the heart rate to race & the blood pressure to rise ,, this in turn let go a small clot which headed straight for the brain and did the damage.
My poor darling had no symptoms of any of these threats .,., indeed never a day's illness in her life ,,, ( well one nasty chest infection which took a long time to clear ) but that aside, a healthier woman over the years it would be hard to find ! ,.,.,., now all of a sudden she's on 4-different lots of pills ... daily for now & possibly a long time to come !
She has, of course, been under a lot of stress and has been working twice as hard as normal over the past 6-months following my illness & treatment regime .,., This probably contributed ?
I really can't believe our family has been hit with another major trauma ,,, Did we really offend the Gods in some previous life ?
Are we just getting old and frail .,., ? 
What ?
Why ? Why my beloved ,,, ??
Why now ?
She's been my love, my rock, my beloved wife for all these years .,.,
She simply doesn't deserve these extra fears & tears .,.,
She's a carer with extraordinary love,
She's my woman,
And I could have lost her
I'm SCREAMING again !