Saturday, June 18, 2011
The Screaming Returns
The Champagne was flowing, the buffet was loaded to overflowing and the wines, beers & spirits were high !! We met lots of old & new friends and decided later on in the evening that since I wasn't up to long nights ( & this one was looking like an early hours of the morning affair ) that we'd leave with our daughter and be home for a reasonable time ,,, midnight'ish !
The beloved was her usual self ,,, all night life and soul ,, and even now, in the car, chatting away and giving us lots to laugh about on our homeward journey.
We got our daughter to drop us at the corner of our street and we walked the 50-yards or so to our back door.
We were both bushed ,, said we were going straight up to bed ....
My beloved wandered into the hall cupboard to slip out of her shoes and at that point the world did a double-take !
She collapsed coming out and fell hard against the hall radiator, giving her head a helluva wallop.
I figured, in my wisdom ( doh ! ) that maybe she'd had a wee glass of wine or two too many?
I man-handled her back into the living room and onto the couch ,,, She lay down .. I slipped a pillow under her head and checked it for any blood .,., she seemed almost ok so I threw a cover over her and sat down in my chair to keep a night vigil. I was a little concerned that she wouldn't speak to me ??
An hour or so later she got up, undressed and walked upstairs en route to bed under her own steam ,, ( but with me closely following at her back lest she fall again.)
I asked her if I should call a Doctor but she poo-hoo'd the idea.
Another couple of hours went by and I wakened ,, she was staring, unseeing into space ,,,
This time I didn't ask,,, I called NHS 24 and within 20-minutes the Doc was at our door.
One look, a few questions and some tests were hurredly carried out before he too was on the 'phone.
An ambulance was here no more than 10-minutes later ,,, and sped us thro' the night traffic to Glasgow's Southern General hospital and straight into the High Dependency Stroke ward !
My dearest had not been drinking to excess, hardly 2-glasses of white wine & a sip of champers had passed her lips that fateful Sat. night .,., and now here she was, in an intensive care bed only a few hours after posing for some lovely family portaits. ( Does the photo above look like a woman 4-hours away from a stroke ?)
I was devastated ,,, I still am ,,, I should have called the Doc some 3 or 4 hours quicker !
As everyone knows, with a stroke the first hours are absolutely vital to get the patient on track for a full recovery.
The Doctors & nurses in the hospital were brilliant ,, attentive & informative .,., they told me fairly quickly ( although it seemed a lifetime ! ) that the only damage was her speech and her writing ,,, a very small but significant area of the brain had taken the hit with the clot but thankfully no paralysis, no loss of understanding ... all limbs still working ok. Chances were that she'd be fine and the delay ( fortunately ) did no additional damage .,., ( Thank God, for I'd never have lived with myself if I'd caused her to suffer more. )
The damage was carefully scutinized for a week ,, Cat scans, x-rays, wired up to heart & blood pressure monitors, physcal examinations ,, etc. etc,
Seems she has an irregular heart beat ( maybe had this for many years without it doing any harm ).... her blood pressure was up thro' the roof ,,, her thyroid gland was way over active .,.,
As I understand it the thyroid was the main culprit ,, being so over-active it caused the heart rate to race & the blood pressure to rise ,, this in turn let go a small clot which headed straight for the brain and did the damage.
My poor darling had no symptoms of any of these threats .,., indeed never a day's illness in her life ,,, ( well one nasty chest infection which took a long time to clear ) but that aside, a healthier woman over the years it would be hard to find ! ,.,.,., now all of a sudden she's on 4-different lots of pills ... daily for now & possibly a long time to come !
She has, of course, been under a lot of stress and has been working twice as hard as normal over the past 6-months following my illness & treatment regime .,., This probably contributed ?
I really can't believe our family has been hit with another major trauma ,,, Did we really offend the Gods in some previous life ?
Are we just getting old and frail .,., ?
Why ? Why my beloved ,,, ??
Why now ?
She's been my love, my rock, my beloved wife for all these years .,.,
She simply doesn't deserve these extra fears & tears .,.,
She's a carer with extraordinary love,
She's my woman,
And I could have lost her
I'm SCREAMING again !