Monday, January 31, 2011

A Solution to all our ails ?

This actualy makes bloody good sense to me !
How about we all pass it on to all our MP’s ?? 
Needless to say I already have !
Go for it y'all !

Dear Mr. Cameron,
Please find below our suggestions for fixing Britain's economy.
Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks & bankers who will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, why not try the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan for Britain :

There are approx. 10 million people over 50 STILL in the work force. ( aye & most against their will ! )
Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations :

1) They MUST retire. ( Ha, as if they wouldn't ! )
Ten million job openings immediately available - unemployment .,.,.,fixed !

2) They MUST buy a new BRITISH car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry.,.,., fixed !

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis .,.,., ( what housing crisis ? )  It's now fixed !

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate .,., fixed ! ( or at least significantly improved ? )

5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol / tobacco a week. ( Mmmmm, not quite so sure about this one ! )  but there's your money back in duty / tax etc ?! 

6) Finally instead of pussy-footing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy bastards to reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down.
It can't get any easier than that, can it ?

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances ! ( plus appropriate FINES ! )

Anyone else think this will work ?
Good !.,.,  Then send it to your local & Euro MP's & watch their responses .,., and you'll then know what to do at the next election ?
The people of Britain have spoken !

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Eulogy for a dear WeeThing

I can't believe it .,., I don't want to believe it .,., but alas I know it's true. I spoke to her hubby on the phone last night.
My wee cousie Anne down under in NZ had a massive heart attack and died suddenly on Friday morning.
I was talking to her only 2-days before ,,, My daughter was talking to her yesterday .,., She was fine ,, her usual happy wee self  .,., in fact inviting my daughter, her man and their 5-kids to come to NZ for a long holiday ,, she even offered to rent a caravan and put in her garden if there wasn't enough room for all of them in the house.
That's the kind of person wee Anne was ,, very outgoing, generous to a fault and a lovable wee rougue .,., Well I loved her, her man Tommy loved her and her masses of kids, grandkids and great grandkids all loved her.
I got a phone call on Frid. morning from her older brother Adam, also resident in NZ ,, I was on the golf course, on the tee and ready to drive when my mobile started vibrating in my pocket .,., I checked the screen only to see "Number Witheld".  I was annoyed ,, probably some bugger wanting to sell me some damned thing or other   .,., I ignored it .,., Immediately I put it back in my pocket it started ringing again ! So I answered, rather reluctantly & abruptly I must confess .,., "Who is this .,., what do you want.,.,  I'm busy"  I jumped in with that before listening to a word !!  Then I heard Adam's voice ,, I knew it straight away although him & I don't talk often ,, I also knew then somehow, immediately ,, that something had happened to Anne ,, But this ,, dead, when only two nights before she was doing everything she could to help me fight my diseased body ,, even offered if she could to come & take some of my Chemo doses for me !!  Crazy wee wuman !  But you see what I mean ,, she was just like that ,, and she loved me you see.
She left these shores, under something of a cloud I have to say, as a 17 /18 year old ( pregnant to an almost stranger )  The family all having gone the year previously .,., she was meant to go then too but turned up at my mother's door late one night sobbing and asking to stay ,,, we quickly discovered why !
A baby on the way and a mind in chaos .,.,
So she stayed with us for about a year. Anne & I were always close ,, and during that year became lifelong buddies, sharing all manner of secrets. We both cried when she finally plucked up the courage to go with her no longer stranger but new hubby ( Oh and pregnant for the 2nd. time ! ) & face the family down under.
We swore we'd write to one another every week !
We probably wrote two letters after that parting and then nothing ,,, for maybe about 25 / 30 years ! ( other than the obligatory Xmas cards ) We then found one another again and proceeded to write virtual books  every two or three weeks ,, I'm talking epic letters here ,, never less than about 30 / 40 pages .,., they were great ( well apart from her spelling which was truly atrocious & her grammar which was non existent ) but  they were fun to decipher & read !
Later we went hi-tech and word processor letters were the order of the day .,.,., ( her typing was a bit iffy too )
Finally we went Skype and stopped writing in favour of the free computer web cam & telephone system at our respective desks.  We talked on average once every week ,,
God but I'm gonna miss seeing her wee face and her cheery "Hullo" popping up on my screen.
It's only been a day but I still find it hard to take in !
Tommy, the hubby that we all said would never last, was still there and mad about her some 45 years later !
A good guy Tom turned out to be ( hey and a golfer of no mean stature )
Anne & her big sister Mary came all the way from NZ for our son's wedding .,., they stayed with us for about 6-weeks and we got to know one another all over again ,, in the flesh so to speak !
Tom also came visiting and we played some golf together, a real nice guy when I got to know him properly.
I would go to her funeral if I could but .,., she wouldn't thank me for coming now since she tried unsuccessfully for years to get us to go there for a holiday, and there's simply no way I can interrupt my Chemo sessions which still have 3 months to go.
But my thoughts will be there every minute of that day .,
Goodbye dear WeeThing .,.,I'll miss you 'till my dying day.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

The Real Talent

Writers are the real deal ,,, always have been !  ( well with the exception of course of the SOAP writers !! ) Actors, comedians, so-called Celebs ! As a rule they do nothing other than interpret what the real talent have written for them.
Take the acting fraternity ,, now I do admit some very fine actors can & do do their stuff but without the real deal they too would be nothing ! The Shakespeares, the Chekhovs, the Virginia Woolfs, never felt a need to "act" .,., just to write.
Next take an example of the Comedians, Bob Hope, one of the old school non writing comics..he had a team of some 50 ( yeah Fifty ! ) full time, paid for, writers working round the clock producing ALL his funniest lines ! All Hope really ever had was perhaps a funny face ? He went way down in my estimation many years ago, when I learned that his team wrote his every utterance .,., sad really ?  
But then again Bob's work was at least not littered by bad taste & gutter swearing just for the shock value like today's "alternative" writer comics .,., Go learn your trade people !
Now as for the so-called celebs in our sick society .,., least said about this scum, the better !
Daily doses of Simon, I'll tell you what !! ( yuk ) Cowell, Jordan ( a beauty ???? .,., in whose dim eyes for Christ's sake ,, bloody plastic rubbish ? ) etc, etc, just make me want to throw up .,.,  Why, oh why do we pay these insignificant piss artist tossers money to annoy us ?  Go away & get a proper job you lot !
There is also other genuine talent of course .,., the proper artists ,, painters ,, now here again we have some real talent ,,( but some real chancers too of course ! )
But, like words, some artistic canvasses can move you to tears.
The Musicians ,, music is my first love .,., But would turn this blog into a Blook to list all my musical influences & favourites ! 
But please, please let's get rid of all this NON Talent ?                

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Love is indeed a many splendored thing !

Love is a many-splendored thing,
It's the April rose that only grows in the early spring,
Love is nature's way of giving a reason to be living,
The golden crown that makes a man a king.
Once on a high and windy hill,
In the morning mist two lovers kissed and the world stood still,
Then your fingers touched my silent heart and taught it how to sing,
Yes, true love's a many-splendored thing.

Oh & just before all you spell check freaks start firing daggers ,, this is the original bastardised USA spelling as written by the composer / lyricist and as used on the film title & dozens of cover recordings .,., the truly awful "Splendored" .,.,

  Yeah, this is going to be another of my more maudlin blogs I'm afraid. You can tell, I'm sure, from the very title !  But have no fear .,.,The fun filled, angry, ranting Dougie will return ,, but not today.

My love for my own dearly beloved , for my daughter, my son ,,, their love for me is truly inspiring !
Being diagnosed recently and given a very limited time prognosis sure as hell brings the mind into sharp focus ,, or melting despair of course, depending on your outlook !
I have never been one to melt, give up without a fight ,, so I'll never ask the age old question "Why me" for isn't that just a another selfish way of saying " why not you ? or one of the other 3 likely candidates ( they say 1 in 4 of us will contract this dreadful disease during our lifetime ,, so that's why it's me ,, I was simply the 1 in my 4 ! )
Nor will I fear dying ,, I was told once ( no, more than once ! ) by a dear old friend "Never be afraid of dying Dougie" for greater things will come after death. But then again he has "the religion" .,., I don't, but still I have no real fear for myself. My worry is watching my loved ones go thro' hell on a daily basis when I have no means of helping their pain, other maybe than to keep on smiling? My wonderful wife is dying inside but tries not to show it .,., her pain affects me almost worse than my own. And I worry too that I won't be here to help her when her time comes ,, I won't have that pain ,, My children, I can actually feel their love for me coursing thro' my body with every hug & kiss.  It's lovely but it hurts seeing them suffer.
My son weighed in initially before I was deemed inoperable with a " how much will it cost to go Private and quicker ,, I'll give you a part of my liver Dad, and a kidney ",,, My daughter too has similar thoughts I suspect and living closer comes up with dinners and hugs on a daily basis. These gestures of giving were never on the cards ( well never on mine ). These guys have families of their own to look after .,., I'm happy to become a loved memory ,, but not too soon ,, the Chemo appears to be working well so who knows what extra time I'm buying myself ? Hey, I've got a bedroom still to decorate !
My son Derek, on Xmas day came round the table and stood hugging me from behind, as I sat on the dining room chair, having put on a favourite song of ours ,, The Proclaimers singing their "Act of Remembrance" , written with great love for their late dad. Both my son & myself listened thro' tear filled eyes but I think I put a smile back on his face when I asked the question ,," Should I no' be deid before you sing your Act of Remembrance " for me ?
I know I diversify a little here, but along the same lines, I was devastated when Phyl left her 1st. hubby André after what seemed a lifetime .,., some 15-years and 3 kids ,,, gutted for her, the kids and André.  However, some 5 years later Phyl is happily remarried and has two more children and is most definitely back to her old happy-go-loving self .,., her new man Thomas has been a God send .,., I thanked him only recently for giving us back our daughter ! 
But Andre, he hasn't moved on one iota .,., his problem is that although "apparently married" again too ( to a young Chinese girl he met on an internet chat ( up ? ) site )  he obviously still loves Phyl .,., ( now that pain I could not live with ) only recently asking her to meet over coffee to discuss how her new man ( the family stealing bastard he calls him ) has destroyed both their lives !! 
But now I'm afraid the love we all had for André has turned to its close companion ,, well maybe not quite hate for he is and always will be my dear grand kids dad ,, but certainly loathing for the way he treats my daughter, and now more especially his children.  A true loving dad he isn't !

But getting back to my subject of love ,,, I would simply like to finish by saying ,,
What a gal I chose all those years ago, and boy did we make two of the finest kids ever ? 
And what have they gone & done ?.,.,
They've only given us the 7 most wonderful, gorgeous grand kids that any grand parents could ever desire.
Love is, indeed a many splendored thing .,., long may it continue.

Monday, January 10, 2011

The Blogger's Block !

Yep, that's right .,., I've got it ! .,., the dreaded Blogger's block .,.,
Can't think of a bloody thing to say .,., about anything !
Not like me at all ,,
I guess the brain is now failing too ?
Or maybe it's the bloody weather ,, or lack of ,,,
My golf course has now been CLOSED for weeks on end .,., How the hell am I supposed to stay fit ?
Putting on the lobby carpet can do only so much for your putting stroke, but bugger all for your fitness ,,
I'm gonna have to go out somewhere today just to see if the legs still work !
And that will most probably mean the shops .,. Yawn .,., ipsofacto, the beloved will no doubt run up yet another unnecessary food bill !
I suppose I could read another book .,., play with my new mobile phone, or watch more golf on the telly ?
Christ, can life get any more exciting ???

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

A'm Thinkin' !

It's been a while since I last posted onydamnedthing oan ma blog !
A seem tae huv dried up .... the write juices huv stopped flowin' !
A'm actually huvin' a helluva time right now concentratin' on anything !
A'm thinkin' aw yon drugs are bitin' at ma bum !!
A'm tryin' no' tae be too morbid aboot the possible outcome o' ma wee problem but the odd thought just flits intae ma brain .,., sometimes it even makes me laugh !
Here's wan that makes me baith laugh & greet ! .,.,.,
I wis wonderin' this past week.,., dae deid people miss them that's left behind, wance they're deid ?
I'd like tae think that they dae ,, 'cause ther's some folks a'm really gonna miss .,., but then again ,,, I know I'm bein' a we bit daft here, um a no' ?  But a'm boy'd up wi' the thought that I know these same folks will miss me !
But am still askin' .,., WHY should only the livin' get tae miss them that's gone awa ? 
That's a guid question Dougie .,., intit ? Aye ,,,
And talking o' wa's .,.,., that's whit happened to wee Prince Cherlie wisn't it ? ..,
Turned intae bricks & mortar the wee effeminate Prince .,., for isn't it said .,.,
Prince Cherlie's noo a wa' !!