Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Love is indeed a many splendored thing !

Love is a many-splendored thing,
It's the April rose that only grows in the early spring,
Love is nature's way of giving a reason to be living,
The golden crown that makes a man a king.
Once on a high and windy hill,
In the morning mist two lovers kissed and the world stood still,
Then your fingers touched my silent heart and taught it how to sing,
Yes, true love's a many-splendored thing.

Oh & just before all you spell check freaks start firing daggers ,, this is the original bastardised USA spelling as written by the composer / lyricist and as used on the film title & dozens of cover recordings .,., the truly awful "Splendored" .,.,

  Yeah, this is going to be another of my more maudlin blogs I'm afraid. You can tell, I'm sure, from the very title !  But have no fear .,.,The fun filled, angry, ranting Dougie will return ,, but not today.

My love for my own dearly beloved , for my daughter, my son ,,, their love for me is truly inspiring !
Being diagnosed recently and given a very limited time prognosis sure as hell brings the mind into sharp focus ,, or melting despair of course, depending on your outlook !
I have never been one to melt, give up without a fight ,, so I'll never ask the age old question "Why me" for isn't that just a another selfish way of saying " why not you ? or one of the other 3 likely candidates ( they say 1 in 4 of us will contract this dreadful disease during our lifetime ,, so that's why it's me ,, I was simply the 1 in my 4 ! )
Nor will I fear dying ,, I was told once ( no, more than once ! ) by a dear old friend "Never be afraid of dying Dougie" for greater things will come after death. But then again he has "the religion" .,., I don't, but still I have no real fear for myself. My worry is watching my loved ones go thro' hell on a daily basis when I have no means of helping their pain, other maybe than to keep on smiling? My wonderful wife is dying inside but tries not to show it .,., her pain affects me almost worse than my own. And I worry too that I won't be here to help her when her time comes ,, I won't have that pain ,, My children, I can actually feel their love for me coursing thro' my body with every hug & kiss.  It's lovely but it hurts seeing them suffer.
My son weighed in initially before I was deemed inoperable with a " how much will it cost to go Private and quicker ,, I'll give you a part of my liver Dad, and a kidney ",,, My daughter too has similar thoughts I suspect and living closer comes up with dinners and hugs on a daily basis. These gestures of giving were never on the cards ( well never on mine ). These guys have families of their own to look after .,., I'm happy to become a loved memory ,, but not too soon ,, the Chemo appears to be working well so who knows what extra time I'm buying myself ? Hey, I've got a bedroom still to decorate !
My son Derek, on Xmas day came round the table and stood hugging me from behind, as I sat on the dining room chair, having put on a favourite song of ours ,, The Proclaimers singing their "Act of Remembrance" , written with great love for their late dad. Both my son & myself listened thro' tear filled eyes but I think I put a smile back on his face when I asked the question ,," Should I no' be deid before you sing your Act of Remembrance " for me ?
I know I diversify a little here, but along the same lines, I was devastated when Phyl left her 1st. hubby André after what seemed a lifetime .,., some 15-years and 3 kids ,,, gutted for her, the kids and André.  However, some 5 years later Phyl is happily remarried and has two more children and is most definitely back to her old happy-go-loving self .,., her new man Thomas has been a God send .,., I thanked him only recently for giving us back our daughter ! 
But Andre, he hasn't moved on one iota .,., his problem is that although "apparently married" again too ( to a young Chinese girl he met on an internet chat ( up ? ) site )  he obviously still loves Phyl .,., ( now that pain I could not live with ) only recently asking her to meet over coffee to discuss how her new man ( the family stealing bastard he calls him ) has destroyed both their lives !! 
But now I'm afraid the love we all had for André has turned to its close companion ,, well maybe not quite hate for he is and always will be my dear grand kids dad ,, but certainly loathing for the way he treats my daughter, and now more especially his children.  A true loving dad he isn't !

But getting back to my subject of love ,,, I would simply like to finish by saying ,,
What a gal I chose all those years ago, and boy did we make two of the finest kids ever ? 
And what have they gone & done ?.,.,
They've only given us the 7 most wonderful, gorgeous grand kids that any grand parents could ever desire.
Love is, indeed a many splendored thing .,., long may it continue.


Alistair said...

You put a big smile on my face and a tear in my eye wi' that one Scudder.

No-one knows how they will fae a situation like yours until it arrives but having spoken to you and read this - you have it right in so many ways.

Love truly is a many splendoured thing my friend. It travels in all directions and speaks clearly in every language to every age.

It too is a welcome touch on a dark night or a hard day.

cheers buddy.

Phyl said...

Bad daddy! You aren't meant to make me cry, you said that was my job.
Keep fighting, cos we can't imagine living in a world without you in it, and those grandchildren need their Pumpa.
Hugs xxx

Anne said...

Well quite a blog, from bloggers block to this. What can I say, Alistair has said it all. You just keep fighting I need you on skype, you connect me to my past, make me laugh on skype, and give me something to plan for in the way of my next trip. So like Phyl I need you up there and I don't mean way up there I mean Scotland. Love and hugs your wee cousie xxxx