Friday, March 28, 2008

Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age. William Feather


Aye maybe so ,, but then again there comes a point when you really do have to ?
What a night we’ve had ,.,. screaming & crying in the street at 3-30 am ,, neighbours out calling the cops ,, 3 ,.,. yeah THREE Police squad cars arriving on the scene ,, ,,( in very impressive & quick time ! )
Our back door nearly getting smashed in with frantic battering ,,,
Guess what ,,, Guess who ,,,
Yeah, our young teenage neighbour strikes again ,,, terrified out of her mind but obviously somewhat the worse for drink ( and who knows what else ? ) ,,, as the proverbial fart ,,,

"Oh help" she cries on the back door step, "I hear noises in the house,, plates breaking in the kitchen ,, there’s somebody in the house, ,, please can I come in and sleep in your house ,, oh don't make me go back over there."
Then we have the Cops in our house interviewing this dipsy wee besom ,.,.
Turns out she’s not actually been in the house ,, lost her bloody keys hasn’t she !
"She’s had a skin full " the cop tells me ,, "she's probably disturbed a fox ,,, " I've checked the place out ,, the house is perfectly secure ,, nobody near the place ,,,
as if I’m some daft old bugger who can’t work all that out for myself from the smell of the booze on her breath ,,,, ( well maybe not the fox bit ,, it was 3.30am after all & I was still half asleep ! )

So I said to my own daughter next morning ( in jest of course ! ),.,.
" you see what you’ve got to look forward to when yours are of drinking age ,,, ha "
"Oh no I forgot," I continued ,, "Your man is going to teach yours sensible drinking habits" ,, ( unlike that daft wee bugger pal of mine across the road ,.,. the wan slowly but surely allowing his daughter to become the local drunk !! ,, and who will now be absolutely mortified that the whole street knows his business .,., ( him, the wife and younger daughter are away for a week's holiday leaving this one at home alone ,.,. aye, no chaperone in sight ! He's probably lucky he didn't come home to a teenage party wrecked house ?? How bold was that !)

Thanks hen, I can hear him say ,, fur nothin' ! You're grounded !!

It was our next door neighbour and his daughter who first heard the screaming and phoned the cops ,.,. and who were also out in the street being nosey when all the cops arrived ,,, Oops

My daughter, in reply to me, laughed uproariously ,.,.,
Quote "oh Christ - hahaaahaaaahaaaa - what will they do if she ever gets a job in another town and has to live in a flat of her own !??
"Easy" I replied ,, "the cops'll lay on 3-squad cars nightly to see she gets to bed ok " :)
NB : All names & places hidden to protect the guilty !!

2 comments:

Phyl said...

I was just reading this - I guess your unnamed neighbour had her 44 bottles of wine in the one night! Hope she had the good grace to look sheepish this morning!? And why had she left her keys with her pal? And why didn't she just stay over with her pal?

Scudder said...

All jolly good questions ! and
No she didn't look particularly sheepish ,,
However she'll definitely look sheepish once I'm finished with her old man !