Friday, December 16, 2011

I .... am an Artist !

Somewhere, way down deep in my psyche, nae, my soul, I am an artist.
My soul is not of the religious variety, but is a real part of my being !
It keeps me sane most of the time but can drive me too, to a near suicidal desperation when at my lowest ebb.
My dear friend and lifelong buddy George is one of the only people who know this.
I am wracked with artistic leanings, if not the talent to support them !
Oh to have walked the hallowed ground of  University and studied for an Arts degree, Fine Arts, rather than spend nights at college working my way through Electrical Engineering claptrap for useless qualifications ?
I am a frustrated writer, poet, painter, musician, photographer and George listens when I spout on these very real longings. George is almost a brother to me. 
No, he's much more than that ,,, he's that younger sibling, lost all those years ago, when I was so young. George understands me, like only a true friend can.
We have these wonderful, long talks in the car coming home from a day's golf outing, and he listens,, he really listens.
I read, ( I'm devouring books at a rate since my illness & our Scottish winter weather has confined me indoors), I write, and not only this bloggy stuff ,,, I attempt serious writing too, but then I read Emile Zola, Charles Dickens The Bronte girls, Jane Austen, Robt. Louis Stevenson and the like, and I despair again ,.,.,.
I have such a need inside me ,, a want to nurture my soul ?
I played piano to a fairly high level when a boy but then abandoned it ,,,, what sheer criminal neglect ! 
I must get back to my music learning, and soon. 
I long to attempt painting ,,,, I have a love of  The Impressionist painters and long to "try my hand" at their style .,., I've chosen my camera as a starting idea to emulate these guys .,.,., I do want to someday actually apply paint to canvas but for now I'm attempting to learn the Impressionist "method" using my digital SLR .,.,
I know this is possible ,, even old Zola had the knack ,, and he did it back in the mid 1800's with far less sophisticated photo equipment to mine !  So watch out for a photographic breakthrough, coming soon to a gallery near you !!
My soul is screaming not to be starved.  I need to feed this passion.
But back to my friend .,., George knows & appreciates my deepest thoughts, my deep love of family & friends, the real me .,., he sees the artist in me fighting for release.
For my part I see George as a great part of "my family" .,.,  and to that end this week I send him my love ,,, for we celebrate with him another .,.,., eh, Big Birthday. 
Many Happy Returns pal .... You have been & still are a Rock to me.  
I raise my glass  to you .,.,

1 comment:

Alistair said...

We all need a George in our lives. You're a lucky man - but clearly you know that already!

Like you I like the expressionists, but all art is expression isn't it?

I suppose that also makes all expression art. So - you ARE an artist Scudder!