Seems somebody at the BBC still has a sense of humour : Jack McConnel and Alex Salmond are to go head to head in a TV special ahead of the May Election ,,, And just when is this meeting of the Clowns to take place ,, Why April 1st of course !!
Oh here's a good one : It's been mooted that the Polis should pay for their own training ,,, AND also for their routine SKILLS testing ,, Like doing self certifying MOT's ?
Who comes up with this shite ? Oh I know ,, it's the Polis Recruiting Panel !!
Oh and 10-years down the line a JURY is finally gonna tell us how Diana and Dodi died !!
Eh, did I miss something ,, Wis it no' a car crash ??
And then there's her man ,,, Charlie ,,, He's about to be sued ,,, by McDonalds ! What a hoot ,, the bloody heir to the throne getting it in the ear from a burger joint ,,, Respect man !! Wicked !
Hahahaha ,,, 1 in 4 people in deprived areas are struck down ,,, with Depression ,,, and I thought it would be struck doon in the auld fashioned Glesca way ,, you know, wi' a Glesca kiss or a knife in the ribs !!! But hey, who can blame them ,,,,Well wid you no' be depressed living in some/any of Glesca's deprived areas.
Oh and here's "NEWS" for you ,, aye but only if you're a daft Politician wi' yer heid up yer ain arse?
The army of persistent young offenders has swelled by more than 6% ( again ) to a new record high. Well I'll be ,,,, I'm gobsmacked !!
Of course every NON Politician in the land knows why ,, It's simply because naebody skelps their arses when they're young. And once they're auld enough the Courts don't deal with them either.
I see too that wee Charlotte is banged up ,,, Made millions with the voice of an angel ,,, now "sings" like a demented rock chick on speed , gets pissed every day of the week and curses on live TV like a rugby player ,, Oh and that's no doubt how she got pregnant ,,, out on the town drinking and cursing it up with the boys from the Rugger club ? And what do you know ,,,we have another little foul mouthed Welsh singer on the way ,,, oh goody !
Her mother must be so proud of her little angel ??
Hey, more ground breaking stuff ,, Hearts, the Jam Tarts, have a new manager ,, sorry, Head Coach ,, that's only 7-now under the reign of the crazy Lithuanian.
We're to get a revealing new TV documentary starting this week ,, This is going to show us in graphic detail how our meat gets from the slaughterhouses onto our tables !! That'll be riviting viewing ,, at tea time no doubt !
And finally one straight from the Fun Book 2007 ,, Gold Edition ! No, I mean one of today's top broadsheet newspapers.
There seems to be a decline in trust in Politics in Britain today, forcing Politicians ( forcing them mind you ) into tailoring their messages with "defensive care" ( whatever the hell that is ! ) to what they feel the broad mainstream ( that's you and me btw ) can bear to hear !
And ,,, Hahahahaha ,,, they've even got that wrong ,,, 'cause I can't bear to hear anything the useless bastards have to say !