My wee pal was over last night for a meal and a wee swally ( or three :-), him and the Missus.
We'd fed him ( handsomely I thought .,., well done my wee beloved ... what a meal that was !), wined him, beer'd & vodka'd him and were quietly having what I thought was a grown up, semi intelligent conversation ( for were't we all just a little oiled ? ,, ok, maybe not Mrs Con ,, she was being good, although she didn't tell us why ? )
Anyway, the girls frequently exchange books and this ritual had just been carried out when we decided to have a little fun with Connie, the READER ( not ) !
Con reads a book maybe every year or two, aye and that's a maybe ? ,,, and yeah, I did say ,, A BOOK !
He starts a few but if page 1 doesn't grab him by the goolies then it's quickly despatched to the nearest bin !
This is the guy who famously took some 6-months to read only 50-pages of the riveting page turner, Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code !! In his own inimitable words ,, " if it's no' the Beano or the Dandy I don't waant tae know .,., why d'ye waant tae read onywey ? .,., why dis onybody waant tae read ? I waant to watch the world ,,, see the fields ".,., ( hands upstretched like a preacher at this point ) .,., as if it was impossible to do both !!!
"Look" he says "A'm fuckin' thick ,., ten "p" short o' the bloody shillin', and a'm happy wi it !"
So there you have it, all you budding or established authors .,.,
Forget ma wee pal Connie,, he's no' the least interested in yer bloody books .,., he's away oot tae watch the world !!
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