Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Yer Other National Team !

Step up and take a bow yon wee Martin Steele, Marketing Manager of our other National drink, Iron Bru ! Martin is the wee genius, obviously made from girders, who has dreamt up the Sales Ad of the year .,., mibbie even the decade ?
Anywhooo, he's come up wi' this magic wee ruse ( to sell more of his ) { and our } beloved National brew !
He argues that if we ( that's Scotland of course ) want to win the World Cup of Footie then we need an infusion of new blood !
Brazilian blood would be good since they seem to win this trophy more than most ?
So, BRUZIL is born ! Samba MacFootball is on the horizon !
To "lay" in place the team of teams for World Cup 2034 we need to start now .,., ipsofacto, Martin wants us all ( boys AND girls from John O' Groats to the Borders ) to do holidays/visit Brazil "make friends" ( sow seeds if you will !! ) become the Parental Talent for the cause .,., Woof -Ya ! count me in wee man ,, I'm on my way to Rio's Copacabana beach right now !
Old Archie Gemmill ( late of our failed attempt circa 1978 but with a magnificent last ditch effort against the mighty Dutch ) and Andy ( heid the ba' ) Gray are fronting the newest game in town under the pseudonyms Arcihno Gemmelo & Andsilva Graato .,.,.,., urging us all to "get a Brazilian" ( ouch ! ) and make some new friends !!
So let's up, up & away to sunny Brazil and get busy on our future team all you 18/30 holiday lads & lassies .,., oh & some older talent too ,, those of us who can still recall the Great Days and the magic Scots who strutted their stuff on that Wembley turf in 1967 !!
Enter soon the likes of Eddie Alves, Crawford Baptista, Donaldo, MacKaka, mibbies even the new MacPelé, not to mention one brilliant wee left winger who goes by the tag Dougihno Buchista o' Parkheid !
Wee Archie reckons: "We huvnae qualified for the World Cup since France in 1998 so it's time for drastic measures. If we can harness the Scottish passion and the Brazilians' natural footballing skills then what a combination. I'm sure parents of these Scottish-Brazilian children will agree the kids should play for Scotland. We need all the help we can get. We need to boost our footballing DNA."
Archie enjoyed snuggling up to two Brazilian samba babes at the campaign's Glasgow launch yesterday but he regrets that he personally CAN'T do his bit for the Nation this time - because his wee wife Betty would kill him !
Irn-Bru have already placed lonely heart ads in Brazilian papers calling on locals to help Scotland.
One ad, in Portuguese naturally, placed in Rio De Janeiro's Extra newspaper, says:
"Scots lass seeks Brazilian man with good sense of humour to make Scottish football magic.
And I've got a fridge full of Irn-Bru" she says.

And another mickey-take sees Sky Sports expert Andy Gray commentating on Scotland's line-up for the 2034 World Cup Final with players including Flavio McFadden and Aberdeeninho.
I've a feeling this team might just do the business and we can then rub it into our downstairs neighbours for the next 44 years !!

See more fun at .,.,., irn-bru.co.uk/bruzil

1 comment:

Alistair said...

Hiv you got yer wifes permission to be sae keen tae get ower there an dae yer dit for yer country?

Could be in real bother there Scudder!

Sweet dreams........