Saturday, May 24, 2008

Devotees of grammatical studies have not been distinguished for any very remarkable felicities of expression.

Jesus ! I thought to myself ,,, and me the faither of a gifted Linguist.
How come I didn't know this before now ? How come she never let on ??
Christ, I'm bloody nearly OLD, and this is me just finding out about the English language wot I thought I spoke !
There was me, stoopid me obviously, thinking that the language I was taught at school, to speak, and think in, was THE definitive English ?
Not on yer life pal ,.,.
I got a wee bit upset again this morning when writing the latest chapter of my on-going book and Microsoft's auto spell check kept questioning MY English and substituting its bloody bastardised US English ( a contradiction in terms as far as I'm concerned ,,, lovely people I'm sure, but English speaking ?,, eh, naw, I don't think so ! )
Well bugger me ... seems this US English shite is only one of a huge number of derivitives ,.,.the tip of the iceberg no less.
Here's the full list of English's you can use, according to Microsoft's language choice ,,,,
Would you believe ,, apart from proper English and their own US of A version that THEY think is English, you can also have ,,,,
English Australia, Belize, Canada, Caribbean, Hong Kong SAR, India, Indonesia, Ireland, Jamaica, ,,, hey, you think I'm done ? ,,,, Ha ,, hang on in there ....
Malaysia, New Zealand, Philippines, Singapore, South Africa, Trinidad & Tobago and Zimbabwe,
and the daughter has never mentioned any one of these ....
I suppose I'll need to temper my anger at all these "foreign" call centre operatives now ?
After all they're only speaking their English !!! Aye right !
Notice anything missing btw ?????
Aye, me too ,.,., it's nae bloody wonder we want our Independence and Freedom.


Thomas said...

So that they'll have to add Scottish English to the list? ;-)

Phyl said...

Dad - we publish separate dictionaries for half these markets! Do you want me to bring you a South African large Collins next time I'm in the office - or would you prefer I brought the NZ version to help you understand that wee cousin of yours?