Monday, February 08, 2010

When did the Renfrew Ferry last sink ?


The AMPHIBIOUS bus ( the Amfibus ! ) that can travel on water and roads ( Hey, didn't Jesus do that walking on water thing too ? ) has been grounded - less than an hour after taking to the water. Glug, glug Oopps !
Trials on the River Clyde had to be abandoned because of a "technical problem".
Operators, Stagecoach ( Oh stop it ,,, it's the Pony Express again then ? ) were carrying out a two-day test and demonstration ( ha ! ) of the "horse bus" between Renfrew and Yoker.
But the trial had to be aborted when the bus/horse developed a wee problem !
You can take a horse to water you know .,.,., But now, Roy Rogers is being brought in as a "whisperer consultant !"
A Stagecoach spokesman said, "It's all part of the challenge you face when you have a technical trial and we will now go back to the evaluation process." ( Shank's Pony ? )
Horses for courses and all that !
Stagecoach ( can't these cowboys find a better name ? ) had intended to have two hours of tests this morning but had to stop after half an hour.
Glug, glug, glug ,,,, throw that horse a lifebelt !
Based on a bus chassis, the amfibus uses a hull that allows the vehicle to float.
( Aye well, some of the time mibbie ! ) While it operates like a normal coach ( or horse ) on the road, when it's in water it is driven by twin water jets and can achieve a speed of eight knots, but hey, so can a wee submarine !

The £700,000 Dutch-made vehicle ( HOW MUCH ? ) can carry 50 passengers ( right, after you Councillor ? ) and may replace the ferry service between Renfrew and Yoker, which is to be scrapped.,.,., wait for it ,, to save money ! .,., Hahahaha SAVE money ?? Spend a mere £700 grand PER ! and pay suitable compen to all souls "lost at river"! and Bingo ,, we're onto another Glesca winner ! 500-years from now they'll be moaning about it being replaced ,, probably by some wee dependable FERRY thing ?
That 500-year-old Renfrew Ferry service ( which I don't think ever suffered the ignomony of it's about-to-be successor ? ) will stop running in March because operators Strathclyde Partnership for Transport said it needed to save money.
Can somebody please buy these bampots a calculator ?
Incidentally, an amfibus has never been used in the UK for commuters.
( Mmmmm, wonder why ? Maybe they never came up again for air ? )
Anyway, the Spokesman went on to say: "We thought the bus horse would be particularly suited to linking the two sides of the Clyde where you can have one seamless journey from one side to the other ??? He said WHIT ?
"We often look at our rivers and estuaries and see them as a bit of a barrier to travel but we actually think they can be a link between two communities.
He did it again ,, Eh gibberish that, is it no'?
God, and he's still going on .,.,
"This service we think has got big potential." ( For what exactly ? Who still uses the old Ferry ? It's just a tourist or photographer attraction is it no' ? But of course a nostalgic one that should be kept !
I don't remember the last time I saw it actually MOVE and I'm getting on a bit ! )
However, I leave the last comment to the sharp wee cookie wrote about the aborted trial :
Bet that's the last time the driver dips his headlights :-)

2 comments:

Alistair said...

I bet it's no' the last time he dips his headlights!

Alan on the Sooside said...

There is no way you would get me on that semi submerged bus. I saw the photo of it in the Scotsman with the water licking around the windows.

It's more like a Yellow Submarine.

What happens if you are on it and a Type 45 Frigate decides to leave Yarrows or Govan and go out for a wee sea trial?