Yeah, the daughter ( safely out of the way touring sunny Denmark ) gave me this little throw away line just prior to us going into town to babysit little Gordy-poo ....
How prophetic that remark turned out to be !
Mum & Dad went out to dinner & the Opera ,,, the achingly sad La Madame Butterfly ,,,
But hey, we were pretty sad too after a while :(
Gordy had his red hat on with his green wellie boots ,,, a picture of sartorial elegance when we arrived ,,, but would he take either of these off ?
Not on your bloody life Grandad ...
Firstly he stole ,,, well exchanged perhaps, some of Granny's dinner for his. He dumped some of his burger ( admittedly real Aberdeen Angus coo ) for some of her M & S Chicken Lasagne ... Yuck ,, chicken & lasagne don't go do they ? And certainly not with burger, M & S's or anyone else's !
Next he decided he wanted some of her wine with his dinner ,.,.,
Ha, this wee fella still has a lot to learn about life ,.,. parting Granny from her wine needs a general anaesthetic ,.,.,. and a very good surgeon !!
Me he doesn't even bother asking ...
Anyway, somehow, between him and his Grandmother, the wine glass ended up smashed in 4 or 5 pieces and the wine all over the table ( mine was safely inside my tum by this point :)
Then a little later came bathtime ,,, to be followed by bedtime ( a 3-story night and they must be read by Grandad ,.,.
But GORDY ,.,.,.,. Man U are playing FC Roma in ten minutes ,,,,
The bathtime went well ,, he had done pee-pees in the toilet prior to getting in, so all was well ,,, wasn't it ? Well yeah, right up to the point when he started trying to run ,,, thro' the water from one end to the other ,,,, that was right after I switched on the whirlpool jets in the bath ,,,, hahaha what a fright he got ,,, what a laugh I got ,,,( unknown to me these little jet nozzles retain a little water from the previous run ,,, of course by now, above Gordy's water level, stone cold !
So when I switched them on he got the freezing cold water jets ,, full blast from every angle ,,,,Oops ,,,
After a minute or two's crying however, he returned to normal frolicking and cavorting about in his tub, throwing toys & stuff out at me ,,,, and then it happened ,,,
As he tried running along the half full bath looking behind him and muttering "Oh No ,, what's happening", I could see this great ,,, eh ,,, turd, following close behind him ,,, then a smaller one, then more ,, and more ,,,
Within seconds the bath was full of the brown stuff ,,,, Ohhhhh Yuk Gordy ,,,
Surely I hadn't frightened the shite out of my little grandson had I ?????
And I'll let you into a wee secret here ,,, I had been toying with the idea of joining him in the bath to try out the new jacuzzi ,,, Phew ,,, what a good decision it was to abandon that idea in favour of the footie ?
I whisked him out PDQ, wiped his bum and dried him off ,, and retired quietly to the bedroom while Gran got to do the old Barlinnie "slop-out" of the bath and all the little whirlpool jets ,,,
Mum & Dad had a good laugh when they came home ,,
Oh ,, He's never done it in the bath before they said in unison ,, a first apparently ,.,. oh goody, goody for us grand-folks !
However the last laugh may well still be ours ,,,, for how well Granny poked out all those little whirlpool jets remains to be seen ,, by whoever next takes an invigorating jacuzzi ,,
Oh to be a fly on that wall ,.,. hahahahahaha ....
Babyshitting just took on a whole new look !
Thanks Phyl ,.,.,.