Saturday, August 21, 2010
So, the Big Yin is a Freeman !
“I didn’t even know there was such a thing as freedom of the city,” he said. But I'm delighted to have it !
Aw c'mon ya big lying bastard ,,, ( oops, did I just lapse into a Connolly moment there ? ) ,, of course you knew about the freedom of the City .,., you must have known ,, you bloody petitioned like the rest of us to FREE NELSON MANDELA .,., remember ? ., & he's wan o' Glesca's free men !
So is Alex. Ferguson & Kenny Dalglish ( yer pal, late of your beloved Celtic ! ) so don't try kidding a kidder big man .,., you knew bloody fine !
Anyway, I dare say he deserves it ,, he's made us laugh for many's a long year now, and from the belly too, and that's not easy, albeit he's a bit on the coarse side but seemingly only on stage ? Off it he somehow manages to putt oan a bit of a Bools in the Mooth accent .,., Must be aw yon mixin' wi' his Royal chums ,,, yer mooth probably goes like that with too much arse licking ?
But hey ,, who am I to critisize a man trying to better himself ? I mean, the man's a Laird, living in his Castle, so he's got appearances to keep up.
He's also done some damn fine documentaries touring the world & shown us all stuff we'd never have seen any other way ,, I've now toured New Zealand ( twice ) which saved me the boring flight and cash of actually going there myself ! Thanks for that Billy.
Among his newly begotten rights are the following btw :-
He can now graze his cows on the common land of Glasgow Green ( and don't think he won't ! )
He's allowed to fish in the Clyde ( and this he will definitely do for he's one o' them ,, a bored sportsman ! )
Attend all court hearings in the city ( eh ,,, well would you ? )
Trade within the burgh, specifically on market days ( he's sold himself there for years ! )
And now for the real goody ,, he gets to have a prison cell all to himself if he's ever imprisoned ( and that might well come in handy one of these days? )
And what duties does he need to do for the City in return ?
Oh aye ,, he's to defend the town by arms – and if he doesn't, he could be prosecuted for perjury of his oath and flung in the Pokie ! ( to his single cell ! )
Only question left for the Big Yin is .,.,Why has ma wee pal Queenie no' tapped ma shouder yet ??
Wis it somethin' a said ????