My Day Out, On the Hallowed Turf !

We were booked for an 11.07am tee off ,,,
Me and my rich benefactor were playing Turnberry's Ailsa Championship Course, again.
He said he'd pick me up in the Jag at 9am to let us get down there and have our very special Turnberry Bacon Roll and coffee before the game.
I stupidly decided, no George it's my turn to drive ,, I'll come over and get you at 9.
What a cock up that thought turned out to be !
I remembered in the morning, while having my early morning cuppa that I was quite low in petrol so I duly set out en route to the garage to fill up, in plenty time to be at George's for 9.
At the corner of Harvie Ave., no more than a few hundred yards from home, the traffic lights turned to red ,,, I pulled up behind maybe 3 or 4 cars and waited ,,, it's a long wait at that junction because the lights are favoured to the motorway on-ramp traffic ,,,, While waiting I noticed the passengers seat in the car was fully forward ,,, a small person had obviously been there last ? I leaned over and pulled the bar under the seat up and rammed the seat fully back ,, my pal George is a biggish guy and this would let him sit comfortably ,,
Ah, at last, the lights changed to green ,,, into 1st. foot on the gas ,, let out the clutch ,,, and away we ,,,, phut, phut, phut ,, the car simple died on me !
Whit, I thought ,, oh no, it can't be that low in petrol ,, I wouldn't have let it go that low ,, surely ,, I checked the gauge again ,, it WAS very low ,, but still just above the absolute bottom RED line ,,,, it can't be petrol ,, Wawawawawa ,,, nothing ,,, the engine sure as hell sounded dead ,,, Wawawawawa ,, nothing again ,,, like the proverbial bloody Do-Do ,, I left it a few minutes in case I had "flooded" it ,, by this time of course I'm causing mayhem ,,, I'm stuck in the middle of the single lane road, three car lengths back from the lights and it's work/school time, mega-busy ,,, I put on the Hazard lights and sit there stunned ,,, Wawawawwa ,,, my Alfa Romeo ,,, the Italian Stallion, is DEID ! No point to wasting any more battery power ,, the bugger is simply refusing to even acknowledge that I'm in a hurry ,, C'mon ya useless bastard I said ,, It's Turnberry today ,, not bloody Cowglen !! Move your arse or you're on the "For Sale" list !
I phoned George ,,," Slight cock-up on the travel front Reggie,"I told him ,,, "may just have run out of the ole jungle juice !! Can you maybe hop in the Jag and bring me down a gallon in a can ?" George duly arrives some 10-minutes later ,, Ah good, no panic, still plenty time to make Maybole for our tee time !
Glug, glug, glug ,, in goes the gas ,,,,, hands now wet and stinking of petrol but never mind that ,, let's get this show on the road ,, Wawawawawawawa ,,, ohhh shit ,, the bugger still refuses me !! Wawawawawa, wawawawawa, wawawawawa, You bastard ! ( If I'd had a tree branch handy I'd have done a Basil Fawlty right there on Harvie Ave.!! )
Then I think ,,, Mother had a "petrol situation" just like this a few years ago, and after I had WALKED from almost Eaglesham to EK and back to get a can of ,,, hers wouldn't start either ,, the AA man eventually telling us that modern cars need TWO gallons to get up and running again ,,,
"George" I asked ,, "could you ,, eh ,, another gallon please ... oh ta "
Off he went ,,, time is a marching here ,,, it's now about 9.30 am ,, but still time enough ,,,,???
He's back in 5 minutes ,,,, glug, glug, glug ,, it still seemed to be guzzling it down hungrily ! ,,, hands now absolutely honking of the stuff ,, ( George's can leaked a bit at the pouring end !! ) but at last it's all in ,,,
Right, Now we're on our way ? Wawawawawawa ,,, c'mon ya swine , Waawawawawawa, Wawawawa ,,, you shit car ,, you're definitely on the For Sale list ,,, tomorrow morning 1st. thing !
Deid, deid, deid ,, Arghhhhh. We phone Turnberry and CANCEL ,,, it's pishing it down here but we KNOW it would have been ok on the Hallowed Turf ,,, never rains in Maybole ,, every golfer's wife knows that !
George tells me, "Lock up the car and I'll drive you down to your garage man ,, see if he'll come up and get it going ?" Ok ,,,
Oh for Jesus' sake ,,, now the bloody doors won't lock either ?? What's up wi' this stupid car ??
I rush round locking them with the key and ,, naturally, for it's already THAT kind of day ,, I skid on the grass verge and go arse over tit in the rain and the mud ,,,
Now I have to get into George's Jag ,, the new one with the CREAM LEATHER Upholstery ,,, He is a real friend George ,, Had it been the other way round I'd have made him strip !!
I explain all to Ian, my tame garage mechanic, who raises his eyebrows when I get to the part of the alarm system and doors not working either ???
"No point in my coming Dougie" he says ,, "it would need the Alfa computer diagnostics thingy ,,, these new cars are all tied up in computer technology and we can't get into them without the correct gear ,,, Phone the AA" he says ,, "you must still have Manufacturer's warrenty on it ",,, Mmmmmm ... never thought of that ! Doh ,,,
We went home ,, and over coffee I phone the AA ,, Name ?, car reg.? address ? ,, granny's maiden name ? ,, you know ,, then ,, as I'm waiting to be told the warrenty expired last week ,, the girl tells me ,, "we'll have a Patrolman there inside the hour sir ,, he'll phone you 15-minutes before he gets to your location ! " Wow, now there's service ,,,
I remember at this point and look in my wallet for petrol money for George ,,, I give him my only fiver ,,, ( I have a £20 but nothing else ) ,, saying "I'll owe you a pound or two ,, I'll get the coffees at Turnberry next time ,, "ok says George telling me, jokingly, that his can held a fiver's worth EACH time he filled it ,,, "Oops ,, sorry pal, I'll owe you another £5 then "
Back to the car ,, the AA man goes thro' his routine ,,,
Wawawawa ,, as if it would start now for him ?? Ha, Then to save wasting my battery any further, he gets out his own BIG battery ,, WAWAWAWAWAWAWA ,,, ha again ,, deid as ,,,
"Right sir" he says "why don't you and your friend sit in the other car ,, you can't help here and you're just getting wet watching ! I'll get the Alfa Diagnostics plugged in ,,, "
So George gets the heater going in the Jag and we chat about our might have been golf round ,,,
The AA guy takes maybe 5 minutes and then comes over to me ,,, "that's it going again now sir ,,, "
"Oh well done ", says I "what was the problem ",,, ?
"Did you have any big, heavy passenger in the car this morning or anything happen to your passenger seat ?? "
"Eh ,, no ,, not that I can ,,,,, Ohhhh wait, ,,, I moved the seat back while sitting at the lights ,, and ,,, just before the car died ??? " Uh-oh ,,? Why ?
"You RAM it back hard ? "
"Eh, maybe ,, aye ,,, "
"Well what's happened SIR, is that the car thought you were in a collision at that point, and did what it's designed to do ,, IT CUT OFF THE FUEL PUMP ,,, to save you being killed by stopping any fire possibility !! And your alarm system then also went into action and UNLOCKED all the doors ,,, a fine car sir ,, and with quite a sophisticated system ,,, ( and quietly he says ,,,better than your friend's Jag in that respect sir ! ) "
Oh, thinks me ,,, well maybe the Italian Stallion is off the For Sale list ,,, for now !
"For future ref. sir ,, see this little Black Box under the passenger's seat ,, and that little button on top of it ,, well just reset that by pressing the button if it ever happens again ,, but I doubt you'll ever ram the seat back like that again will you sir ??"
"Thanks ",,, I go back to George's car to tell him all is well ,,, he gives me back the only change either of us has ,,, the Fiver ,,,, "for the AA guy for his help in the rain",,,
So it's been a bad day for me ,, missing my Turnberry golf outing ,, but an even worse one for George ,, Not to play has cost George a Tenner and a cleaning job on his leather upholstery !!
Last thought on the day ,,, Did fate by any chance keep us away from the M77 to Maybole that day for other, much more important reasons ???? I wonder ????
Nee-naw-nee-naw-nee-naw ,,,

Just a few wee anoyances from today's news !

Seems somebody at the BBC still has a sense of humour : Jack McConnel and Alex Salmond are to go head to head in a TV special ahead of the May Election ,,, And just when is this meeting of the Clowns to take place ,, Why April 1st of course !!

Oh here's a good one : It's been mooted that the Polis should pay for their own training ,,, AND also for their routine SKILLS testing ,, Like doing self certifying MOT's ?
Who comes up with this shite ? Oh I know ,, it's the Polis Recruiting Panel !!

Oh and 10-years down the line a JURY is finally gonna tell us how Diana and Dodi died !!
Eh, did I miss something ,, Wis it no' a car crash ??

And then there's her man ,,, Charlie ,,, He's about to be sued ,,, by McDonalds ! What a hoot ,, the bloody heir to the throne getting it in the ear from a burger joint ,,, Respect man !! Wicked !

Hahahaha ,,, 1 in 4 people in deprived areas are struck down ,,, with Depression ,,, and I thought it would be struck doon in the auld fashioned Glesca way ,, you know, wi' a Glesca kiss or a knife in the ribs !!! But hey, who can blame them ,,,,Well wid you no' be depressed living in some/any of Glesca's deprived areas.

Oh and here's "NEWS" for you ,, aye but only if you're a daft Politician wi' yer heid up yer ain arse?
The army of persistent young offenders has swelled by more than 6% ( again ) to a new record high. Well I'll be ,,,, I'm gobsmacked !!
Of course every NON Politician in the land knows why ,, It's simply because naebody skelps their arses when they're young. And once they're auld enough the Courts don't deal with them either.

I see too that wee Charlotte is banged up ,,, Made millions with the voice of an angel ,,, now "sings" like a demented rock chick on speed , gets pissed every day of the week and curses on live TV like a rugby player ,, Oh and that's no doubt how she got pregnant ,,, out on the town drinking and cursing it up with the boys from the Rugger club ? And what do you know ,,,we have another little foul mouthed Welsh singer on the way ,,, oh goody !
Her mother must be so proud of her little angel ??

Hey, more ground breaking stuff ,, Hearts, the Jam Tarts, have a new manager ,, sorry, Head Coach ,, that's only 7-now under the reign of the crazy Lithuanian.


We're to get a revealing new TV documentary starting this week ,, This is going to show us in graphic detail how our meat gets from the slaughterhouses onto our tables !! That'll be riviting viewing ,, at tea time no doubt !


And finally one straight from the Fun Book 2007 ,, Gold Edition ! No, I mean one of today's top broadsheet newspapers.
There seems to be a decline in trust in Politics in Britain today, forcing Politicians ( forcing them mind you ) into tailoring their messages with "defensive care" ( whatever the hell that is ! ) to what they feel the broad mainstream ( that's you and me btw ) can bear to hear !
And ,,, Hahahahaha ,,, they've even got that wrong ,,, 'cause I can't bear to hear anything the useless bastards have to say !

Old John has gone to the Big Golf Course in the Sky

Today was a sad/happy day !

Old John Kennedy, our 2nd. oldest member at 94 ! finally went to meet the old Golf Pro up there.

I guess, him being a believer, he'll now be playing off scatch on that beautifully manicured Augusta course in the sky ?

A real old "character", John played 9 or 10 -holes two or three times a week right up until 5 or 6-weeks ago when he suffered a stroke. He was treated at home for a week or two before going into hospital ,,, and was only there for 17-days before he got really tired and went for his last sleep.

Way to Go old pal ... Hope you find all you ever dreamed about ,,, well apart from a world conquering Rangers team ,, even Heaven can't achieve the impossible!!

You'll be missed.

Talking Euthanasia :)

I see even C & H talk about it !!
And hey, Heaven might be a fairly decent option after all ??
See attached :
http://postcards.ucomics.com/get/?MsgID=4a3b9a926aa9b03b57821db21bcaf1f8&site_ref=ucomics

The Euthanasia Debate

I quote this article verbatim with no apologies for you all to read and hopefully to vote for.
Sadly I didn't write it, but if you want to read a well written, thought provoking article then this woman does a different one EVERY DAY in the Herald .

Why euthanasia is the moral choice
MELANIE REID

Regular readers of The Herald will be aware that a couple of weeks ago we said goodbye to Fergus the famous police horse, Glasgow's wonderful old public servant, who lived with me in retirement.
We put him to sleep because he had reached the stage, with age and arthritis, where he was no longer able to get up after lying down. Horses weigh more than half a ton: a few days previously, it had taken five of us with ropes to get the distressed animal onto his feet. To avoid him suffering again, and to allow him to end his life with dignity, we decided to euthanise him before there was a repeat incident.
So I organised the final act of kindness: or, if we attempt vainly to avoid euphemisms, his death. A kindly vet sent him on his way: at home, peacefully, surrounded by friends, with the sun on his back and no pain in his bones. I was touched by the number of letters I received from people afterwards, and interestingly there was a shared sentiment in many of them: the hope that when our time comes, when we can't get up any more, someone will perform the same act of kindness for us humans. The words were written jokily, but they expressed a profundity.
I don't think we can underestimate just how many people feel this way regarding their own demise. A recent survey by the ethicist Professor Sheila McLean of Glasgow University, and others, for the National Centre for Social Research, suggests that more than 80% of people support some kind of code of voluntary euthanasia for the terminally ill.
It is as if we all know, deep down in our bones, that there will come a time when we will seek the final choice. And it's precisely at that point that the insanity of a society which devotes its energies to the prolongation of human life, at any cost, but refuses to allow for the calm, kind termination of it, under any circumstance, will be brought home to each and every one of us.
As Elizabeth Clery, one of the authors of the report, states: "The current law that prohibits assisted dying is at odds with public opinion - most people accept that a doctor should be allowed to end the life of someone who is terminally and painfully ill."
On perhaps the most crucial issue of all in an ageing society, the law has been left behind by changing societal values. That effectively means, in a democracy, that the moral argument has already been won.
I’d like to go as old Fergus did, when I’m a burden to my family
How can we spend a lifetime being preached the gospel of choice, absorbing a bewildering array of alternatives at every turn - cars; clothes; hospitals; schools; groceries; novels; films - and yet ultimately be denied the most important choice of all?
How come I can choose 20 ridiculous variations of latte, mocha or Americana, but not the right to say, thanks, but I've had enough.
Last week saw the death, in a Swiss suicide clinic, of the businesswoman Elisabeth Rivers-Bulkeley, who was suffering from cancer. This week we heard the harrowing story of Kelly Taylor, the 30-year-old woman who lives in constant pain from a congenital heart defect and a spinal disorder. Next week it will doubtless be someone else, some other brave, pitiful pioneer demonstrating against the law's out-dated, indefensible position.
Mrs Taylor is a crystal clear case for legal reform. She has been told she has a year to live but doctors are unable to control her pain, and you can see the suffering in her sweet, serene face. She asked her doctors to increase her morphine to the point where she would go into a coma-like sedation, at which point her living will, requesting she be neither fed nor hydrated artificially, would kick in.
Mrs Taylor's doctors, immune from prosecution only as long as they can show their intention was to ease pain rather than hasten death, have had to refuse her request, and she goes to the High Court in London next month. Her lawyers intend to cite Article 3 of the European Convention of Human Rights, which prohibits inhuman or degrading treatment, and Article 8, which guarantees the right to respect for private and family life. My heart hopes she is successful; my head knows she won't be.
Only last May the House of Lords, unduly influenced by church leaders, voted by 148 to 100 to block Lord Joffe's Assisted Dying for the Terminally Ill Bill, thus kicking the issue into the long grass. In Scotland, much the same thing has happened with the suicide bill from Jeremy Purvis, the LibDem MSP. The churches, whether they can accept it or not, are shoring up an arcane and undemocratic law.
I can't speak for anyone else, but I'd like to go as old Fergus did. At the point at which my legs give up, or I can't move or eat or wash, or I'm a chronic burden on my family, I'd like someone to help me die. There's nothing depressing about this. Quite the opposite. As Kelly Taylor puts it: "I'm a happy person. I've never been depressed. But my illness is now at the point where I don't want to deal with it any more." Animals, if they are well cared for, are much luckier than humans, because they are not allowed to linger.
I believe that the only immorality in euthanasia lies in the withholding of it. A person of uncertainties, I have never been more sure of anything than on this. I have lived a lot closer to the moral dilemma, and thought much more deeply about it, than a good deal of people, and I've come to the clear conclusion that there is much more morality inherent in ending a distressing life than in keeping it going.
My mother had vascular dementia. Mostly she was gone, but tiny bits of her brain still functioned, just as a few brave plants flower amongst the expanse of weeds in a neglected garden. She wandered in order to die; as she deteriorated, she told me her intentions. She didn't want to be a burden. Were we native Americans of old, we could have left the doors open so she could go somewhere and lie down for the last time. But we weren't. Convention decreed we had to lock the doors, and then, when we couldn't manage her any more, put her in a home.
There, driven by a visceral instinct, she escaped. Foiled all the alarm systems, sidestepped the pressure pad alerts. Immensely frail, deranged but not that deranged, she plotted her exit in the night, negotiated a dark warren of storage rooms, found an outside door and lay down to die, freed at last by the thick white frost of the garden. We, her family, were dumbfounded by her courage. She'd euthanised herself. She'd achieved her aim.
And so it was, when Fergus died, on that sunny morning two weeks ago, it occurred to me that my mother, had she not beaten the system so magnificently, might still be alive somewhere, face to the wall, force-fed, drugged, a shell of a human being in purgatory.
Immoral?,,, anyone?

Cloves of Garlic and Cows !

I heard on the radio this morning that if someone rubs Garlic on their feet you can smell it on their breath minutes later ! Now this may well be true ,,, but it's the age old question again ,, isn't it ?

How did they ever find this out in the first place ?? And ,, Why on earth were folk rubbing garlic on their feet anyway ??

It's like ,, how did the first person ever find out about getting milk from a cow ,,,

and just what did they think they were doing at the time anyway !!!

Mmmmmm ....

Oh there's the answer now ,,, garlic on the feet stopped marching soldier's feet from getting foot sores, etc ,,,, but again one has to ask ??? How on earth was this discovered ? :) I mean would you think to try something this weird ,, or am I just a boring old no fun fuddy-duddy.

Answers on a post card please !!

Spot the Flaw ?

Strange how the dummies in our society ALWAYS seem to be elected to office in our political system isn't it ? Cooncillors or Mp's ,, there's no difference ,,,

They firstly tried to get parents to stop driving their kids to school of a morning to lessen the congestion on our roads, especially around school areas ,,, so to encourage this they promptly whack up the charge on the school buses ,,,, yep they did ... DOH !

Now, today they have banned parents from the said buses unless they ( the parents ) have a £20 criminal background test done !!! Doh, Doh Doh ,,,, and we let these people look after our children and decide our laws ,, Jesus help us ! If they weren't so bloody stupid they'd be funny :)

And notice too how ANYONE else in the community can see how idiotic this all is.

A little thing from tosmorning's Paper ,.,.

Earning their stripes :

We have all heard the tales of apprentices being sent to the storeroom for tartan paint and so on, but reader Dave King tells us a variation where a techie teacher ( could it be that nice Mr. Brooks ? ) at an approved school would send a pupil to obtain a tin of striped paint from the stores. The more clever pupils would argue there was no such thing, so the teacher would march the boy there, where the storeman –( in on the gag of course )– would produce a previously prepared tin of paint which had been secretly divided down the middle with a tin plate so that it had black paint in one half and white in the other.The teacher would pick up a brush, dip it in the tin, paint a black and white stripe on the lad's arm and then tell him, eyeball to eyeball :

"Never doubt my word again sonny."

Oh, happy days !

Admit it Mr. B ,, it was you wasn’t it ???

Bah, Humbug, It's Over !

Well, at last it's come ,,, and it's gone again, thank God !
Yeah I'm talking Xmas of course ,..,. I know, I know, I'm just getting older and grumpyer !
In fact the BEST TV I watched over the whole period ( although to be honest I watched very little ) was the "Grumpy Old Men at Xmas " hour ,.,.,. As I said to my beloved better half ,,, (well she says she's better !)

"The only thing wrong with this programme is that I'm on the wrong side of the TV screen :)" The bitch agreed !! Hrumphhhh ,.,.,.,.

Yer other National Drink .,,. Cheers Lottie

I've just seen the new ad for Oor other National Drink ,,, made fae Girders !

And it's a new version made obviously just for Lottie ,.,. my dear grandchild ,,

Even the Snowman has fallen under her spell ,.,. he's now the bad guy !!

Ho-Ho-Ho ,,,

Lots'll just love this guy.

Meet the New Kid on the Block !

Hey, as I was saying, Glockenspiel, schmockenspiel ,.,.but couldn't figure out how to add the picture to a comment on someone else's blog !

Meet Mr. Piano Man ,.,.., or Our Very Own ,,

Leon the Rhythm ,.,.

We Arra Peoppell right enough !

Ha ! BARELY five million people living in Scotland but estimates of those claiming a Scottish identity range from 40 to 80 million. Ha I say again ! ,,, Wha's like us ,,?
What makes all these foreign Scots want to belong I wonder ?
Apart from the fact that we are the sweetest, most loveable, friendly, happy folks with the best Whisky on the planet ?
Or is it that they all want a tartan ? A kilt maybe ? A Mac in front of their name ??
Tell you what though ,,, I hope they all don't want to come and stay !!!
As I might say ,,, Bugger Off ,, There's nae room !!

As I was saying ,,,

Even wee Calvin knows better than our legislators !

What does that tell us about our modern day society ?

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Bah, Humbug ,, !

So, this is Xmas ?

Hahahaha ,,, I've found a sympathetic ear ,, or something ?
Seems I've missed this for the past few years but there's a World Wide Day in my honour !
Well ok, maybe not MY honour but people like me who want a stop put to this Xmas spending nonsesnse we suffer every year ,.,.
It started out small ,, in the outbacks of Canada, but is now gathering support ,,, it's being celebrated now in more than 50 countries ,,, Ha ,,It's catching on ,, at last we have a following !
Watch out Santa ,,, we're coming to get you !!

It's True you know !

It IS true and a well kent fact to boot ,,,
"As soon as you make something idiot-proof, along comes another, new brand of idiot."
It happens in every walk of life too ,, Look at the morons who are now pursuing ASBO's like they are badges of honour ! ,.,. actually competing with one another to see who can get theirs first !! ,,, but mostly it's politicians ,.,. And of course the Law ,,
How about the boy(s) accused of murdering an innocent man walking home from the pub ,,, then for no reason the Crown Office reduce the charge to Manslaughter !!
This is 3 - young guys beating and kicking one old man to death in an unprovoked attack in the street ,,, then they let one of these idiots bugger off on hoiday to Bulgaria ?? As the son of the victim said ,, " How can the Justice system release a person accused of MURDER and then let them swan off on holiday. It's unreal. The Justice system has gone crazy ,, It's an outrage."
And who would disagree ?
So WHY is allowed to happen ?? What the hell is wrong with our politicians and judges ?
Oh, and incidentally, they got 9-years ,,, for this savage murder,,, Yeah, NINE whole years ,, and we all know what that means ,, the bastards will be out walking the streets looking for another victim in 4 !! And our law makers think this is JUSTICE ??
Jesus ... what world do they live in ?

This would pleaase the Little Darlings for sure !

Well now, here's an idea ,,, who's time has perhaps come ?
I read this at first thinking it was a fun thought ,, someone having a giggle, but maybe, just maybe, this Prof has got it dead right ? It's certainly worth a try ,.,. might just improve our current Asbo seeking teen cult if they learned what they wanted to learn ?
Anyway I like this kind of "off the wall" lateral thinking !
Any of you Academics out there agree ??

Don't you just love these modern day Highwaymen ?

Stand and Deliver !
Now it's bloody Scottish Power that are shafting us ,, yet again !
How can these buggers justify all the crippling rises they're putting on our bills and then come up with this kind of report ?
Oh, silly me ! I forgot, they're about to be "taken over" and so this report will ensure a higher price being paid and of course that in turn means the power company fat cats will now see their shares value rising thro' the roof ,.,.,. leaving them well able to afford any rises in their bills ,,,, with enough left over for the odd foreign holiday home, the Merc, etc,,,,
Again I would ask the SIMPLE question ,,, WHY is our Government allowing this daylight robbery ?

It was Inevitable of course

I know it's happened ,.,. I knew it was gonna happen ,, it was I suppose, inevitable ! Maybe it's an age thing that happens to us all sooner or later ,, or maybe it's the crass stupidity I'm surrounded by and have to listen to on a daily basis ,.,. but yeah, it's now firmly established in my psyche ,..,,. I AM a GRUMPY old man ! Hey, but proud of it ,,,, so no tears or sympathy please. Maybe just join me in condemning the seriously crazy buggers who are now all voice, in the UK in particular, but pretty well world wide too I guess ,.,.
I sited one example earlier with our stupidity over the general prison population.
I could go on ad nauseum and probably will ,,, I'll bore you all to tears .,,. but to site just a few examples of modern day silliness' ,, No not silliness but downright annoying, anger inducing stuff, I give you these ( just for starters you understand ! )
Ok, how about we start at the beginning ,,, Schools ,.,.,. The old 3-R's system of teaching with some disipline from the Teach seems to me to have produced a generation or three of reasonably intelligent adults with some respect for others ,.,. What have all the stupid changes since I left school been about ? And more importantly, what have they achieved ? We now have a huge majority of under-educated delinquents on our hands ,,, Apart from being near illiterate they now have "attitude" that would never have been allowed in my day. Ask any Cop in the street ( if you can find one on the street that is ! )
They ( the do-gooders that is ) took away the teachers, the parents, ( and the beat Polis' ) authority, left them unable to touch the little darlings and now we have total anarchy in the home, classroom and on the streets ,.,., Show me a teacher you know who doesn't want to get out ? Show me a Cop who isn't totally frustrated by the way they have been left toothless.
Then there's the Courts ,.,. Ha, talk about bloody jokes ,,,When last did you see a sentence that fitted the crime ? And now of course we also have this nonsense half time off jail sentences for ,,, eh, nothing ,,, other than because the jails are too full !
Why not use some of our unemployed, or parasite immigrants ( only those who work to get any kind of payments ?) , or even jailbirds themselves to build more jails ?
How can our law makers, lawyers and judges not see what everyone else in the country can see ?
But of course we've now got ASBO's !! Another bloody joke ,.,.,. it takes years of everyone's time and effort to get one of these actioned and then what do they do ,, they kick the offenders out ,,, yeah for a whole 3-months !! Wow ,,, what a waste of time ?
C'mon Scotland ,, waken up ,, time for the Silent Majority to stand up and be counted ?
Before it's too late ,.,.,.,.,.

Now I've REALLY heard it all !

Jesus Christ ! What is this country coming to ?
Now we're "settling out of court" with the scum of the earth ,,, I'm talking about these law breakers and ne'er do wells that we used to call prisoners in jail .,,.,. who used to get bread and water to survive on and deterrents administered so as not to offend again.
First we paid them because their sensibilities were damaged at having to slop-out .,,.
Now we're giving them money because they've got themselves banged up and we're keeping them away from their beloved Heroin !! Honest to God ,, this country is sick ,.,.
Why is this nonsense allowed ? What the hell is this Government doing sitting back and allowing this kind of stupidity to go on?
Any lawyer defending this kind of shite should be struck off.
Stop wasting the court's time I say ,, give the idiots all the bloody H they want ,,, preferably in over large dozes and save us the money in keeping the worthless bastards in jail, at our cost.
Time the silent majority in this country stood up to be counted before there's no country left.
Bring back the bread and water, the cat o' nine tails and all the rest ,, Let's clean up our country and get rid of the parasites ( both crooks and do-gooder versions )
And before you brand me a raving lunatic just ask the person sitting next to you in your office, any pub, golf club, public transport etc, and see how many agree with me.

It's a hard life ,, being a Pumpa !

I've not had such a harrowing month since my weans were .,,.,. eh, well weans.
The worry of the wee man has really affected my every waking moment ,.,. and my sleeping moments too. I don't think I've had more than 4-straight hours since Phyl came home from NYC. Funny how things like that can really get to you ,.,. I thought my worries were over when my oldest wean came home alone from the Big Apple, but alas no, they were just beginning !
I think it's been the uncertainty of it ,, not knowing what it was / is ? ,,, I think our wee guy is finally on the mend ,, at least I sincerely hope so ,, I need my sleep ! ,.,.but it has certainly done one thing for me ,, it's re-enforced my belief ( and my father's before me ) that our Doctors are about as much in the dark today as they were in the days of Burke & Hare !
My old man had a wonderul medical code that he lived by ,, He told me ,,"if an Aspirin and a wee hauf doesn't cure it then it's probably terminal !" and as I've said before ,, he was absolutely spot-on ,,, He self-cured everything he ever had ,, right up 'till the day he died !!