Fur Rabbie .. wi' love

A've bin threatenin' tae dae this at oor Golf Club Burns Nicht for years ,,,
Wan o' they nichts am gonnie pluck up the courage .,.,
Or dae a mean A'll drink up the courage :-) Whitever .,.,
Mibbie get flung oot oan ma ear though ?
Therr's an afae loat o' real Burns fans oot therr ???
Och whit the hell .,., here goes ! Whit dae ye think .,., ?

Tae a Fert !

O' whit a sleekit horrible beastie
Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie
Jist as ye sit doon, amang yer kin
Ther sterts tae stir an enormous wind

The neeps an tatties an mushie peas
Stert wurkin' lik a gentle breeze
But soon the pudin' wi the sauncie face
Ill huv ye blawin a' ower the place

Nae maitter whit the hell ye dae
Abody's gonnae huvtae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle
It's like a wee bullet oot a rifle

Haud yer bum ticht tae the cherr
Tae try tae stoap the leakin' err
Shiftie yersel fae cheek tae cheek
An' pray tae Goad it disnae reek

But aw yer efforts go asunder
Oot it comes lik a' clap o' thunder
Ricochets aroon the room
Michty me, a sonic boom !

Goad almichty it fairly reeks
Hope a' huvnae shit ma breeks
Tae the bog a' better hurry
Aw whit the hell, its no ma wurry

Abody roon aboot me chokin
Wan or two ur' nearly bokin
A'll feel better noo fur a' while
Cannae help but raise a smile

Wis him ! aw shout wi' accusin glower
Alas too late he's jist keeled ower
Ya dirty bugger they shout an' sterr
A dinnae feel welcome ony merr

Wherr ere ye go, let yer wind gan free
Sounds lik' jist the joab fur me
Whit a fuss at Rabbie's perty
Ower the sake o' wan wee ferty


Slainte